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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

May 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Bill-816836 said: As catholics, we believe we will met again in heaven. So the marriage will continue.
(Quote) Bill-816836 said:

As catholics, we believe we will met again in heaven. So the marriage will continue.

--hide--


Bill, just a point of clarity to what you said, there is no marriage in heaven (See Mt. 22:30 "At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage"). If the marriage were to continue in heaven then marriage would be an eternal covenant which it is not (and re-marrying would not be possible), it is a life-long covenant (hence widows / widowers can remarry within the Church). Once the earthly marriage is over, that's it ... but as you said there is the hope of meeting in the resurection.


I understand what you're saying though because I often think about what it will be like to meet my beloved in heaven (assuming we both get there), and maybe being able to get closure on those items you wish you could have resolved before they passed away. I guess it's as they say, nothing in life is ever perfect.

May 9th 2013 new

I wonder.....it says we won't marry or be given in marriage--but what if we were already married?


It seems so incredibly sad to think we cannot be with our loved one and partner in life anymore. That we must just casually wave (so to speak) as we pass by on the streets of Heaven, and think no more of them than we would a stranger there.

May 10th 2013 new
So as an update, I will say mine have recently been resized and I wear them on my right hand. It just feels right for me and I don't feel the need to take them off or to explain why I am still wearing them.
May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Kerry-970208 said: I wonder.....it says we won't marry or be given in marriage--but what if we were already marr...
(Quote) Kerry-970208 said:

I wonder.....it says we won't marry or be given in marriage--but what if we were already married?

It seems so incredibly sad to think we cannot be with our loved one and partner in life anymore. That we must just casually wave (so to speak) as we pass by on the streets of Heaven, and think no more of them than we would a stranger there.

--hide--


Kerry, the marriage in heaven is the Marriage of the Lamb where all will be fully united with Christ. The earthly marriage is over when one of the spouses dies, which is why widowers can remarry. If marriage was eternal then remarrying would not be possible, but because marriage is only life-long remarrying is possible.


It's important to remember that marriage is a sacrament, and like all sacraments it is an outward sign of God's love. Think of it like a road sign to get to Toronto. When you get to Toronto, you no longer need the road sign, you're already there. In the same way the earthly marriage is a road sign to the Heavenly Marriage, the Marriage of the Lamb. When you're already fully united with Christ you don't need a sign of what Christ's love will be like.


That said, I do think that we will have a special connection to those we knew on earth in heaven, and it will not be a casual "Oh hey it's you, how are you?" as though we have not had a past with them. The one thing that is clear is heaven is not a sexual place because there is no new life in heaven, it's souls returning to God after their earthly pilgrage is over. While I have an understanding of what the scripture tells us, I also fully understand where you're coming from Kerry because you can't imagine not being able to talk, and be close with your spouse again! I do believe that will happen, but it will be a different type of closeness then what you have shared together. I feel the same way, there are times I wish I could not to my beloved now and ask "what were you thinking", "why?" or most times simply tell her what I wish I could have told her one last time "I LOVE YOU!".

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-793888 said: Kerry, the marriage in heaven is the Marriage of the Lamb where all will be fully un...
(Quote) Peter-793888 said:


Kerry, the marriage in heaven is the Marriage of the Lamb where all will be fully united with Christ. The earthly marriage is over when one of the spouses dies, which is why widowers can remarry. If marriage was eternal then remarrying would not be possible, but because marriage is only life-long remarrying is possible.


It's important to remember that marriage is a sacrament, and like all sacraments it is an outward sign of God's love. Think of it like a road sign to get to Toronto. When you get to Toronto, you no longer need the road sign, you're already there. In the same way the earthly marriage is a road sign to the Heavenly Marriage, the Marriage of the Lamb. When you're already fully united with Christ you don't need a sign of what Christ's love will be like.


That said, I do think that we will have a special connection to those we knew on earth in heaven, and it will not be a casual "Oh hey it's you, how are you?" as though we have not had a past with them. The one thing that is clear is heaven is not a sexual place because there is no new life in heaven, it's souls returning to God after their earthly pilgrage is over. While I have an understanding of what the scripture tells us, I also fully understand where you're coming from Kerry because you can't imagine not being able to talk, and be close with your spouse again! I do believe that will happen, but it will be a different type of closeness then what you have shared together. I feel the same way, there are times I wish I could not to my beloved now and ask "what were you thinking", "why?" or most times simply tell her what I wish I could have told her one last time "I LOVE YOU!".

--hide--


Thanks Peter--yes, I understand there won't be anything sexual and I didn't mean that. I just meant--he was so special to me, I want to know him in Heaven, recognize and spend time with him as one who was incredibly special in my life, just as I want to see my mom. He wasn't just some buddy of mine--he was my husband and I just want to feel that he will be waiting for me and happy to see me get there.

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Kerry-970208 said: he was my husband and I just want to feel that he will be waiting for me and happy to see me get ...
(Quote) Kerry-970208 said:

he was my husband and I just want to feel that he will be waiting for me and happy to see me get there.

--hide--


Kerry, I feel exactly the same way ... though if my wife has any pull with St. Peter she's probably saying keep him down there longer, can you at least give me some peace up here?!?! laughing laughing

Jun 9th 2013 new
Well said. A difficult move there is no doubt. I am in month four after my husband passed away and I have just taken off his Rosary that I have worn around my neck with his wedding ring on it. However, that could wear under my shirt. The ring is an outward sign. Not quite there yet. Maybe soon.
Jun 9th 2013 new
Well said. A difficult move there is no doubt. I am in month four after my husband passed away and I have just taken off his Rosary that I have worn around my neck with his wedding ring on it. However, that could wear under my shirt. The ring is an outward sign. Not quite there yet. Maybe soon.
Jun 12th 2013 new
Hi, Al. I, too, am relatively new to CM, and I have not participated regularly in any fora yet, but every once in a while I come across a topic that interests me.
Although you asked this question several months ago, I thought I'd put in my 2 cents. I struggled with the question of when or if to take my ring off. Last summer, 2 years and change after my husband's death, I did something really different -- I worked at a Boy Scout camp. That was my impetus to make a change. I decided, finally, to take my ring off my finger, but I put it around my neck on a gold chain, where I still wear it. I think that's an easier way to go for women than men, but it was a nice compromise for me. I had asked so many people about this, but in the end, no one would give me a definitive answer. Maybe it takes something new, wonderful, and different to cause you to make the decision.
Don't know whether that helps, but it's something to think about. Thanks for listening.
Michelle
Jun 13th 2013 new
To Kerry and Peter, with all due respect, you're both talking as though we'll be in a human mindset in heaven. I have the same desire to be with my love again, but that will happen in God's way and God's time. In the meantime, I have my wonderful memories, my faith that says I'm going to be OK, and hope that I will be happy for the rest of my life with whatever state God asks me to live in. Pray and trust in God, that will help.
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