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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Jun 13th 2013 new
It is different for each person. I stopped wearing my wedding band about 6 months after my husband died. The reason why is because every time I looked down at my finger it would make me feel sad that he was no longer here.
Jun 15th 2013 new
Now you widowed men have me wanting to check out your photos to see if you are wearing a chain with rings!! I know that I will never replace the person you loved for many years. It is my firm belief that it is because you had that good loving relationship that you want it again!

When my Dad died, my mom told my son that my Dad wanted him to have his wedding band. My dad's ring was a thick band usually worn only for dress as it could not safely be worn by a firefighter and diesel mechanic. When my son got married, both my parent's wedding date and my son's were engraved inside. My daughter's engagement ring has my mom's diamond and mine flanking the sides of her own (larger) diamond.
Jun 24th 2013 new
Hey Al,

I just started into the forums. Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I must admit that if I went out on a date and the gentleman was still wearing his wedding ring, I would be...concerned.

Ya know, this answer isn't easy. My husband died a slow 2 year, pain ridden fight with cancer. And I thought I was prepared. But there is still that numbing shock you go through. I had my husband's wedding ring buried with him because it was part of who he was. I stopped wearing my ring rather quickly - very mixed emotions. In a way, it symbolizes that he will always be with me, yet he is physically not there any more to talk to, to eat with, to hold, so the physical realm is over. Also, we go through changes in our bodies - I lost some weight, enough that I almost lost my ring several times, so I didn't want to resize it, just retire it into the treasured dept., but I still wanted something of him with me constantly for comfort. My husband and I were part of a movement in the Catholic Faith called "ACTS". It was absolutely one of the most beautiful experiences of our marriage and one of the things you receive on that weekend journey is a bracelet made of fishing snaps linked together and it signified being fishers of men.

My marriage wasn't present any longer so I transitioned into wearing both our bracelets linked together. It's been over 5 years for me now and we were married 28 years. The first date I went on not so long ago was very uncomfortable for me. The dating game, scary to put yourself back out there. I haven't worn the bracelets in a while.

The primary thing I would be concerned about would be if the ring disappeared quickly and the widow/er started looking for someone within a quick time period. There are those people that can't live alone and those are the ones you really have to be careful with. We become new people and that takes time to discover and build. And I'm looking for someone who is now grateful for the years they were Bless with their spouse, but is now still grateful to be alive and finding the beauty that's still here in the world and in people. That takes time and its the continued journey our Faith takes which makes us stronger, to be secure and comfortable with who we are and being alone. We just know we can make it as is, but miss that someone special to share life with, not replace who we lost.

Don't know if this will confuse you more or help, but that's my perspective. God Bless and good luck.


Jun 25th 2013 new
Hi Tina your response touched my heart. Geri had a chronic illness and our last year was full of separation, assisted living facilities, hospital visits and finally hospice. I met someone on CM about 2 months after Geri passed away. A month later we met in person and started dating. I took off my ring two weeks into our chats and conversation before we met because at that point my feelings were stronger for Rebecca and I was doing less grieving and more thinking of Rebecca. We married last month and I am just waiting for subscription to expire (I had no idea I would meet someone in less than 6 months). Everyone grieves differently as I have said in previous posts the well spouse in a relationship has a more difficult time at least I did. Rebecca was a bit concerned about how soon it was for me but I was ready for a relationship and I demonstrated to her my commitment to our relationship by moving to her place. In the journey of life it helps to have God and someone special by your side as you deal with the challenges of life. God Bless and may you find comfort here in CM. Initially I found comfort in the widows and widowers forum and eventually love.
Jun 27th 2013 new
Timothy: i agree with your message, as I too did not want to take my ring off. I had never removed it (except for surgery) in 42 years. I believe we all need our grieving time and it is different for all of us. I mourned at my own "pace" and eventually began to feel changes in my life like realizing that my Ray was really being taken care of by God; that God did not want me to mourn for him for long; and that I was now a widow--not a married woman anymore. When I took my ring off to put it in a special place with his, my ring fell inside of his, fitting exactly right--like "hand in glove." That gave me an idea. I took them to my jeweler and had him join them together with a small gold fastener that I was able to put my gold chain through and I now wear them both--like you next to my heart.
Jul 15th 2013 new
I took mine off at about four months. Due to a couple of accidents, I was curious as to how much the scarring would show, and also wanted to give the tissue a night to re-expand from underneath the ring, and promptly forgot to put it back on.

I know, terribly sentimental. ashamed But it's on a chain with hers, and I wear it on our anniversary.
Aug 14th 2013 new
I'm still wearing mine. My marriage was so fantastic, but so short, and the grief so difficult, that I wear it to prove to myself that it really did happen. It wasn't just a dream. If someone gets to know me they will understand. I will move it to my other hand if I date again, to be open to something new.
Dec 5th 2013 new
Thanks for the idea of the chain! I wish I had heard that a few years ago. I did not want to take my ring off so I wore it on my little finger. One day at work I didn't notice but it fell off my little finger. Much later I found out that someone found it, put it on a desk in the front office and was going to ask around to see who might have lost it. In the meantime it disappeared from her desk. Gone! I was heartbroken and still miss it. I have my engagement ring which I wear on my marriage finger still. I am going to buy a chain!
Dec 6th 2013 new
I always had the impression that a widow or widower could wear the wedding ring on the right hand to honor the departed spouse while making themselves available to develop new friendships. When this is done should be entirely up to them. Some have been encouraged by their spouse to go on and find someone new. Some have nursed their spouse thru long and difficult illnesses and do not need to go into an extended and sad mourning period. Who are we to judge?
Dec 7th 2013 new
Greetings Beautiful people

My story is somewhat unusual so if you can bear with me for a few moments I'll try to explain

When Connie and I got married I gathered all her gold jewelry and all of mine and I made our own engagement rings. They were free style with each having an uncut rough diamond of at least 1.5 cts. In addition they each has a faceted small diamond. We were together when I melted the wax forms from the plaster shell and melted the gold while watching the gold pieces melt into an amalgum of one.

. After the ceremony having the bands purchesed at JCP I fused them to the engagement ring so that they never could be separated.

As a result of that process as we entered a 35 year journey of absolute love and dedication I found it impossible to remove the rings. The rings were a reflection of a most loving and beautiful time of our lives that reflected my honoring her memory on a day to day basis as well as projecting to all who met me, my complete love and honor for Connie.

Fast forward: After meeting Valerie on this site, she commented on the rings and after telling her my story she was happy that I had such respect for my wife. When we decided to marry I offered Valerie my wedding ring from my marriage to Connie, as our engagement ring. I explained that it was not only my approval of the pending marriage but a sign that Connie also approved of our love and pending marriage.

Valerie did accept my rings as hers and wore them with great honor and dignity. She was very proud that we three became one.

Today I wear the Connie/Valerie rings that I made on my right pinkey finger and my new wedding band (Chocolate Diamonds) on my left hand so I can therefore pay homage to the two most beautiful women in my life.

I have no idea what will happen should I meet another but you can be sure that I will never remove either ring until I have met my new love. We, then as a couple will decide what to do with these rings. Until then they will remain on my hands for all the world to see and know that I have been deeply loved and I have given that love in return.

Thanks for listening and

God love


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