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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Dec 13th 2013 new
I took of my ring off a day before the burial. The reason for this was because in the past she had told me that if anything happened she wanted her wedding ring on and since she had committed suicide I could not obtain her ring from the medical examiners office before the burial, so instead I placed my ring on her finger and until this day I kept hers. But removing a ring in any other moment in time is more of a personal choice.



Dec 21st 2013 new
I would like to share my story and perhaps it will help. My husband of 40 years died almost 3 years ago and after his death I was taking inventory of my safe deposit box and found my original worn out wedding ring and my husband's original wedding ring that was damaged from being cut off his finger years ago. I could not throw them away so I took them to a jeweler I had used before and had them melted together and made into a new ruby ring for me to wear on my right hand. The creative process of making the ring was helpful. The design was exactly like one the jeweler had already created and he wanted to sell it to me because it was less expensive than making a new one just like it. I said no because the new one, made of the gold from our original wedding rings, would be a permanent joining of the memories of our 40 years together. I now wear it and when I look at it I am reminded of the symbol of our lives together but because it is on my right hand with a colored stone it does not jump out and say "wedding ring". I continued to wear my actual wedding ring for about a year and have since removed it when I started dating again.

I hope this helps as rings are so symbolic of our marital love and are a reflection of our loving commitment.

Chris
Dec 30th 2013 new
Tough question for sure. I waited for about a year. Even then...felt awkward. It is a symbol of letting go of the past and being open for the next chapter in your life.

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you... G
Dec 30th 2013 new
That was a great program on EWTN. I'm so glad to hear you're healing. It's a very difficult but hopeful process. G
Dec 30th 2013 new
That was a great program on EWTN. I'm so glad to hear you're healing. It's a very difficult but hopeful process. G
Dec 30th 2013 new
Sorry....not sure why this keeps repeating... whoops!
Jan 5th 2014 new
I took mine off at a little over 6 months. But I recently ordered a black tungsten ring I'm going to wear till it's been a full year.

Tom
Jan 7th 2014 new
(quote) Donna-948811 said:

I took my ring off a few weeks after my husband died thinking "That is what you do" but it had been a part of me for 35 years. I always missed it. So when our anniversary came I ended up putting it back on. It reminds me of him and our happy life together. I don't think I need to give him up to meet someone new or would I want them to forget about there late wife. Just because you are starting a new chapter in your life does not mean you have to forget about your last chapter.

I totally agree! We dated for four years, and were married for 32 years last April. The angels came and took him home in May, ending his valiant fight with Cancer. Yes, he saw them. He was my soul mate, best friend and we were so tied in together that we could finish each other's sentences, and know each other's thoughts. I know that he is still watching over me, and guiding my decisions until that next chapter in my life begins. Love is one bond that death cannot even break. Whenever I feel a tear or two coming, I look at my rings and remember the happy and fun times we shared. There are those times when I feel very lonely, and want to reach out to try and start that next chapter, but I know I need to be patient, and finish up this chapter of my life first. Someday, I hope to find someone who has experienced this same journey, and together begin a new one.
Jan 10th 2014 new
My husband passed away 12 years ago,mourned for a long time. we would have been married 46 years Aug 2013.It took me years to take off my wedding ring...... still when i look at my left hand I miss it somehow , I get mixed emotions.
Jan 16th 2014 new
Hi Marge... Long time no see. You were the first person who connected with me when I first joined December 29, 2013. I think you are great, and have a very healthy, and wonderful attitude. However, what is the big deal about wearing the ring after your dear husband/wife has gone to heaven? My Joseph will be gone 6 years in April, and I have never taken it off. First of all, it is very lovely, and could easily pass for any other kind of ring. At this point in my life, I would never think of putting it away. Why? I can understand passing it over to the right hand if and when I found someone with whom I could see a connection, but so far, I haven't. I have dated outside of CM since a year after my Joseph disappeared beyond the clouds to go live with God, and although the men have been varied, they are all educated, lovely, respectful, and some even fun to be with, but I could see no connection. Some of them claimed that we had a connection, but sometimes I saw a motive in them for wanting to force a connection. Maybe I am better financially secured, or they have an illness, and are trying to expedite a marriage, because they need care, or soon will need it, and although I am compassionate, it is not what I am looking for. I would like someone who likes what I like: concerts, musical plays, dinners, movies, walks in the park, maybe dancing, and such. In other words, I feel I have all I need, except someone with whom to share my life, have fun, and yes, even love each other.

I ask you Marge, or anyone who wishes to answer, am I asking for too much, or the impossible? I have made 2 men very happy as they made me, but now, they both live in heaven. They were wonderful marriages. Surprisingly enough, I was married 25 years to each, and loved every minute of it. I am still a very viable woman, intelligent, attractive, funny, love people, parties, organizations, very healthy, and take care of myself, etc. God, and my church are the centers of my life. The ones at CM I have connected with, and who connected with me, each on of them wants something which is not what I am looking for. Well, I have used you as a psychiatrist. Thanks for letting me unload. As we would say in Texas, "thanks for the listen."

God bless you, and all at CM who are searching for someone special who will not try to rearrange your life.

Victoria, West L.A.
Posts 81 - 90 of 106