Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Recently, I began to put my foot back into the dating waters. It has been 25 years since I was single and a good thirty years before I really was single for very long. I had my five children very young (starting at 21 and ended with my youngest of 5 at 31). They are incredibly successful (small understatement), but more than that, they are great children. I am walking a very public journey due to how my husband was killed and the fire blazing within. Here is my problem. On initial dates, everyone asks about my children. Even though I run down the list with the very minimum of basics, the two men I have gone out with still have children at home and they kept telling me how intimidating it was to have my children be doing so well. I am never sure what to say. I say nothing which leads me to feel embarrassed by the fact they are doping well. Suggestions?

Feb 7th 2013 new
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: Recently, I began to put my foot back into the dating waters. It has been 25 years since I was single and a go...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:

Recently, I began to put my foot back into the dating waters. It has been 25 years since I was single and a good thirty years before I really was single for very long. I had my five children very young (starting at 21 and ended with my youngest of 5 at 31). They are incredibly successful (small understatement), but more than that, they are great children. I am walking a very public journey due to how my husband was killed and the fire blazing within. Here is my problem. On initial dates, everyone asks about my children. Even though I run down the list with the very minimum of basics, the two men I have gone out with still have children at home and they kept telling me how intimidating it was to have my children be doing so well. I am never sure what to say. I say nothing which leads me to feel embarrassed by the fact they are doping well. Suggestions?

--hide--


Yeah. Toss under the bus. Holler 'Next'. With what you've been through, you have not only the privilege, but the right to be as choosy as you desire. They're 'intimidated'? Feh.
Feb 7th 2013 new

That's right. I am Sasha Fierce and I rock pink polka dots....

Feb 7th 2013 new

Alot of people have messed up in their parenting, so when they meet someone who has done a great job, I guess it is hard not to compare the situation they are in to yours.

I don't know what you say, but maybe you could be a little vague, like, Bob lives in DC and John is in California (and save the details that Bob works at the White House and John is Speilberg's protege for a later time). Saying how proud you is always a good thing to share!

Good luck!

Feb 7th 2013 new

I wouldn't go into details on the first date. I usually tell new acquaintances, "Two at home, one at college, and two on their own" and save the rest for when we know each other well.

Feb 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: Recently, I began to put my foot back into the dating waters. It has been 25 years since I was si...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:

Recently, I began to put my foot back into the dating waters. It has been 25 years since I was single and a good thirty years before I really was single for very long. I had my five children very young (starting at 21 and ended with my youngest of 5 at 31). They are incredibly successful (small understatement), but more than that, they are great children. I am walking a very public journey due to how my husband was killed and the fire blazing within. Here is my problem. On initial dates, everyone asks about my children. Even though I run down the list with the very minimum of basics, the two men I have gone out with still have children at home and they kept telling me how intimidating it was to have my children be doing so well. I am never sure what to say. I say nothing which leads me to feel embarrassed by the fact they are doping well. Suggestions?

--hide--
Hi Linda, if the men have other "redeeming" qualities, perhaps ir would be good to discuss it straight up with them the way you have explained it here. If they can't go around that issue, then you can move on.

Feb 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: Recently, I began to put my foot back into the dating waters. It has been 25 years since I was si...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:

Recently, I began to put my foot back into the dating waters. It has been 25 years since I was single and a good thirty years before I really was single for very long. I had my five children very young (starting at 21 and ended with my youngest of 5 at 31). They are incredibly successful (small understatement), but more than that, they are great children. I am walking a very public journey due to how my husband was killed and the fire blazing within. Here is my problem. On initial dates, everyone asks about my children. Even though I run down the list with the very minimum of basics, the two men I have gone out with still have children at home and they kept telling me how intimidating it was to have my children be doing so well. I am never sure what to say. I say nothing which leads me to feel embarrassed by the fact they are doping well. Suggestions?

--hide--


scratchchin hmm... although I don't have children of my own, I have a big heart for kids and youth. Every child is is a blessings no matter how far they may have strayed. My suspiscion is that these men may be concerned about how you will accept his kids. Remember they have a mother if the man is not widowed, so she will always be their mother. I personally am hesitant on dating anyone that has kid ( I love them ) but if they have another mother , I would be just step mom to them.


Maybe just date guys that are widowed as well and that would accept you as the mother of their kids. You definitely have much to be thankful for in your children and a man should be loving the fact that you have wonderful qualities to bring to his children and him.

I hope that helps. I am no expert just thinking out loud. May God fill your heart and ease your pain. He is our everything. Let Him guide you to the right man.

God Bless you and all the children. They are in desperate need of good role models today. Praying hug rosary theheart
Kathleen

Feb 8th 2013 new

We have every right to be prowd of our children, and if they can not deal with the fact that we raised good and responsible children then that is their problem.

Feb 9th 2013 new

"...the two men I have gone out with still have children at home and they kept telling me how intimidating it was to have my children be doing so well. I am never sure what to say..."


This is not advice. Advice is cheap, blah, blah. I too have children that turned out to be wonderful, by the grace of God. Truely, I sometimes wonder how such great kids came to be from this person, but then they had a great father. It sounds as if the gentlemen are still in the "heat of the battle" so to speak. It sounds as if they may be seeking affirmation. I've seen some very good parents have some fairly difficult children and vice versa. I too have experienced the voice of intimidation from not just gentlemen friends but women friends as well - as if we should or could compare parenting skills. My response, mostly, is to say that my husband or I tried to give them a sense of self-esteem, not based upon false values, and our children took it from there, again with the grace of God. I know, too, that my children know that my support for them has not ceased even though they are now adults. But I remind friends - and the young people that I have had the privilege to work with and supervise - that their story is not yet done. The chapters are still being written. You have the right to be proud of how your children have turned out. I am speaking from a heart that hears from parents on an almost day to day basis (including those of employees) hoping for the good of their children in a very troubled world. My heart aches for them when I realize that as far back as 10 or 20 years ago, it was not quite as difficult as it is today.

Feb 9th 2013 new
When people comment on my genius oldest son or how all my kids are soooo smart and do so well in school, life, etc, I just tell them God made them and they reflect His glory and that I'm just a witness and vessel. They really are freaks of nature, lol!
Posts 1 - 10 of 28