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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Feb 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: (Quote) Mary-583970 said: I wish I knew how much men truly value looks, ...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

Quote:
Mary-583970 said:

I wish I knew how much men truly value looks, and how they (tend to) think it's better to hide the truth if it'll hurt someone they care about :/

I wish men knew that it's better to not hide anything because oftentimes the act of hiding it or lying is more upsetting than whatever it was. I caught my dad telling my ex if he ever cheated on me to not tell me, just don't let it happen again. Neither understood why that upset me! If that were the case and he told me, we'd work through it- lie and I find out about it? Far FAR worse. Little things, too. Don't like my dinner? Tell me so I can make it better. Don't tell me you love it so I keep making it and eventually feel like an idiot when I find out you hate it...even if it's meant to spare feelings, being lied to and finding out about it feels cruel and heartbreaking (to me, anyhow)



Mary, thank you for posting! I think that while men value looks (as do women) they also value qualities such as confidence, kindness, goodness and a smiling face! (at least I hope so! :) ) Don't give up! I'd also say that I don't think all men act as this man did with you. There are some great guys out there! And you will find one who truly deserves you!

--hide--

Looks only open the door for you, its the rest of you needs to walk though it. This is the best way i can put it. There are a lot of men who put a high degree of importance on a women's looks, but normally this is a sign of immaturity at best or at worst they are just superficial. Either way they are not men you want to be tied to in the long run.

Feb 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: What's one thing you wish the opposite sex knew about you? What's one thing YOU wish yo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

What's one thing you wish the opposite sex knew about you? What's one thing YOU wish you had known a bit earlier about the opposite sex?

--hide--


Interesting topic, Kristen. scratchchin

I guess I'd have to say that I wish that women knew that guys need to hear what's wrong when the lady is upset. Guys just aren't good mind-readers. I guess it all comes down to communication. Since we are so different (or as you say: from Mars and from Venus), it a good idea to truly communicate, especially when something is wrong.

I guess I wish I had known earlier that I just needed to be myself -- no more, no less. If she doesn't like you for you, then she's not the one for you anyway.

God bless!
Steve

Feb 11th 2013 new

I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimacy. BUT we know that being physically intimate prior to marriage stunts the growth of true love and the relationship suffers and often falls. So we mean it when we say No we don't want it before marriage, but Watch Out afterward as we have a lot of stored up energy to deal with!


OK -- am I terrible for revealing this? You asked!

Feb 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimac...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimacy. BUT we know that being physically intimate prior to marriage stunts the growth of true love and the relationship suffers and often falls. So we mean it when we say No we don't want it before marriage, but Watch Out afterward as we have a lot of stored up energy to deal with!


OK -- am I terrible for revealing this? You asked!

--hide--
thumbsup thumbsup surfing

Feb 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimac...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimacy. BUT we know that being physically intimate prior to marriage stunts the growth of true love and the relationship suffers and often falls. So we mean it when we say No we don't want it before marriage, but Watch Out afterward as we have a lot of stored up energy to deal with!


OK -- am I terrible for revealing this? You asked!

--hide--


Rachael,

I admire your courage for revealing this truth and you are not terrible for doing so!

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Steve-111719 said: Interesting topic, Kristen. I guess I'd have to say that I wish that women kn...
(Quote) Steve-111719 said:



Interesting topic, Kristen.

I guess I'd have to say that I wish that women knew that guys need to hear what's wrong when the lady is upset. Guys just aren't good mind-readers. I guess it all comes down to communication. Since we are so different (or as you say: from Mars and from Venus), it a good idea to truly communicate, especially when something is wrong.

I guess I wish I had known earlier that I just needed to be myself -- no more, no less. If she doesn't like you for you, then she's not the one for you anyway.

God bless!
Steve

--hide--

That is so very true Steve! I myself am also a very inadequate mind reader. I should not expect such abilities from my beloved either!

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimac...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimacy. BUT we know that being physically intimate prior to marriage stunts the growth of true love and the relationship suffers and often falls. So we mean it when we say No we don't want it before marriage, but Watch Out afterward as we have a lot of stored up energy to deal with!


OK -- am I terrible for revealing this? You asked!

--hide--


Thanks for saying what I would not be able to say - but wholeheartedly agree with! smile

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: I wish I knew how much men truly value looks, and how they (tend to) think it's better to hide...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

I wish I knew how much men truly value looks, and how they (tend to) think it's better to hide the truth if it'll hurt someone they care about :/

I wish men knew that it's better to not hide anything because oftentimes the act of hiding it or lying is more upsetting than whatever it was. I caught my dad telling my ex if he ever cheated on me to not tell me, just don't let it happen again. Neither understood why that upset me! If that were the case and he told me, we'd work through it- lie and I find out about it? Far FAR worse. Little things, too. Don't like my dinner? Tell me so I can make it better. Don't tell me you love it so I keep making it and eventually feel like an idiot when I find out you hate it...even if it's meant to spare feelings, being lied to and finding out about it feels cruel and heartbreaking (to me, anyhow)

--hide--



Men value looks A LOT!!!! Sorry, that does seem shallow, but it is just the way it is. If I were not physically attracted to someone, even if she were perfect in every other way, I just don't think I would be motivated to date her. I would want to befriend her instead.


But, it isn't all about looks. On this site, good catholic values are very important. Coming from a good family, having a good personality and sense of humor are important to. It is hard to speak for all men, but I also like a woman who is NOT overly emotional. It is very hard to date a woman who is extremely easily offended and you have to constantly worry about hurting her feelings. Actually a woman that can be a little "bitchy" (pardon my french) is more appealing than a woman who is just a crier.


Also, intelligence is important. Dumbness is not appealing. Being able to have an intellectually stimulating conversation goes a long way.

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Justin-32820 said: Looks only open the door for you, its the rest of you needs to walk though it. ...
(Quote) Justin-32820 said:

Looks only open the door for you, its the rest of you needs to walk though it. This is the best way i can put it. There are a lot of men who put a high degree of importance on a women's looks, but normally this is a sign of immaturity at best or at worst they are just superficial. Either way they are not men you want to be tied to in the long run.

--hide--


Thanks, Justin! That's nice to see coming from a man. cool Chelle

Feb 13th 2013 new
That some guys are shy, some boisterous, some insecure, some arrogant. What I'm trying to say is we are all different. So within the realm of safety and morals, let your hair down a bit and visit with us for a time. Worst you get a cup of coffee bought for you; best a life long partner!
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