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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" (dating myself) was a really intriguing boo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

"Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" (dating myself) was a really intriguing book to me when I was in college - I really didn't understand how differently men and women interpreted reality. What's one thing you wish the opposite sex knew about you? What's one thing YOU wish you had known a bit earlier about the opposite sex?

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I wish women knew how frustrating and at times it can hurt to reject a compliment from us men. For example, had a girlfriend who was voluptuous and told her I loved her curves and she responded by saying, "yeah, the curves from my rolls of fat". Pretty much ruined the mood and only discouraged me to give her more compliments. The logic being, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't, so I do not because it's easier and definitely hurts less. *l* Hope that didn't sound bitter, but now that I look at it, it does a wee bit. *l*

I'm going to steal Richard's thunder and agree that I wish I knew a bit earlier that women want a man to listen and not always give advice on how to solve a problem.

Feb 13th 2013 new

[quote]Kristen-878108 said:

"Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" (dating myself) was a really intriguing book to me when I was in college - I really didn't understand how differently men and women interpreted reality. What's one thing you wish the opposite sex knew about you? What's one thing YOU wish you had known a bit earlier about the opposite sex

I wish men knew that some women are pussy cats...they may appear strong..and they probally are but even those need loving too! It is very frustrating that some men seem to think that some women enjoy being single!

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Dan-656122 said: I wish women knew how frustrating and at times it can hurt to reject a compliment from us men. For example...
(Quote) Dan-656122 said: I wish women knew how frustrating and at times it can hurt to reject a compliment from us men. For example, had a girlfriend who was voluptuous and told her I loved her curves and she responded by saying, "yeah, the curves from my rolls of fat". Pretty much ruined the mood and only discouraged me to give her more compliments. The logic being, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't, so I do not because it's easier and definitely hurts less. *l* Hope that didn't sound bitter, but now that I look at it, it does a wee bit. *l*

I'm going to steal Richard's thunder and agree that I wish I knew a bit earlier that women want a man to listen and not always give advice on how to solve a problem.
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Dan, that lady just had her insecurities and it was her problem, not yours, that she didn't know how to gracefully accept a compliment. Keep on complimenting because some ladies have learned to take a compliment for what it is and enjoy it. And I promise you, women love to be complimented, even if they make awkward responses.


But - it's taken a long time for me to learn that men don't really like listening, and listening, and listening endlessly about our feminine "feelings." It's in men's nature to want to fix things - I don't want to undue all of my hard learning at this stage of the game. Frankly, I think women need to understand that men have a different love language, and be happy about it. I'm probably going to get pounced on hard for this one - but when I learned that, it made life so much easier for everybody! goldfish crossfingers

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Dan-656122 said: I wish women knew how frustrating and at times it can hurt to reject a compliment from us m...
(Quote) Dan-656122 said:



I wish women knew how frustrating and at times it can hurt to reject a compliment from us men.

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What I wish more men and more women knew is that relationships are sacred, worth fighting for, and also worth ending, if they damage us. We are, each of us, special, loved creations of God. What we say and do can affect the other person -- cause them to curl up in a fetal position and withdraw from the world, or cause them to blossom and become their absolute best. We are children of God. We deserve the best possible relationships. That means that God wants us to grow and stretch and challenge ourselves -- and our mates, and our children.

I see so many people who rush into relationships without regard for what they are doing, little knowledge of consequences. We need to be gentle with each other. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. heartbeat rose

Feb 13th 2013 new

Some great ideas, revelations, and answers here! Nice post, Kristen - some great food for thought! I will second many of the men's thoughts here in this topic - sometimes just being there as a listener, or a shoulder to cry on, is one of the best things a guy can do, and a humble way he can act. We men always want to fix things - I personally think it hearkens back to our more physical and psychological need to be hunters/protectors....guys should generally be gentlemen, and be chivalrous. We always seem to feel the need to be "heroes", and try to fix any problem like a superhero....but often women just need someone to lay their worries, cares, and thoughts on. I respect that, and some of my deepest, best conversations have been the ones I listen in and only listen! I wish I had known this later in high school and throughout college - it's only in the past few years I have tried to restrain myself from fixing every problem....

I wish, for all their wonderful intuitiveness, grace, wisdom, gentleness (and fair beauty!) that women would understand we men would like a little time to ourselves, each week. Studies actually show that males who have 1-3 hours a week of just "them time", whether fishing, working on the car, in the garage or the yard, or even playing sports with just the guys, have much lower levels of stress and disease then men who never get any time to relax and be 'just themselves'. I always feel good after a good long practice session on one of my musical instruments, going out for a morning of fishing on the lake, going out for a evening to see live music, or just simply going for a walk to church to sit and pray for awhile. I feel calmer, more focused, more relaxed, and ready to meet the challenges opportunities God throws in my life. Just getting time to pray, to work, to play, or to sit and rest, is really important for guys - we like to sometimes be solitary creatures, ya know!

There are so many things I wish we all knew about the opposite sex - but that's why God created Man and Woman. The beauty, wonder, and sometimes puzzlement of learning about one another, and how we fit, operate, and interact as members of the Body of Christ - THAT is what amazes me!

Feb 13th 2013 new

Brian: I wish, for all their wonderful intuitiveness, grace, wisdom, gentleness (and fair beauty!) that women would understand we men would like a little time to ourselves, each week. Studies actually show that males who have 1-3 hours a week of just "them time", whether fishing, working on the car, in the garage or the yard, or even playing sports with just the guys, have much lower levels of stress and disease then men who never get any time to relax and be 'just themselves'. I always feel good after a good long practice session on one of my musical instruments, going out for a morning of fishing on the lake, going out for a evening to see live music, or just simply going for a walk to church to sit and pray for awhile. I feel calmer, more focused, more relaxed, and ready to meet the challenges opportunities God throws in my life. Just getting time to pray, to work, to play, or to sit and rest, is really important for guys - we like to sometimes be solitary creatures, ya know!


Great post Brian. I think guys do need that. You need to put this in Marge's post about what do men need. I think women need the same thing - a little time to regroup. I think ultimately that's a good thing for all of us.

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimac...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

I wish men knew that women are just as interested, if not more, than men are in physical intimacy. BUT we know that being physically intimate prior to marriage stunts the growth of true love and the relationship suffers and often falls. So we mean it when we say No we don't want it before marriage, but Watch Out afterward as we have a lot of stored up energy to deal with!


OK -- am I terrible for revealing this? You asked!

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Not to steal your thunder Rachel, but this is kind of an opened sceret ;)

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Richard-791226 said: I wish I would have known earlier that when a woman is sharing a problem or difficulty with you she us...
(Quote) Richard-791226 said: I wish I would have known earlier that when a woman is sharing a problem or difficulty with you she usually wants to just be listened to. Not told how to fix it or what to do! We men are doers so we can often misinterpret what she wants from us when she's sharing. I wish women would know that the most attractive quality you can have is confidence. By far! Act confident even if you don't feel it!
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Richard, it's interesting that you should comment on a woman's confidence level being attractive because I've been wondering the last few years if the fact that I am a fairly confident woman was perhaps intimidating to men? Mind you, I don't come off brash, bossy or anything like that. I've simply had a lot of things thrown at me over my lifetime and had to learn how to handle things and crisis swiftly and efficiently. Both family and staff had counted on me in this respect.


I guess, in the future, I won't concern myself with weather or not my confidence intimadates men. Heck, if a guy is threatened by a woman with intelligence and who's not afraid of her own shadow - he's probably not the kind of man that I would find intriguing or stimulating anyway. Thanks!

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-341178 said: Men value looks A LOT!!!! Sorry, that does seem shallow, but it is just the way it ...
(Quote) Patrick-341178 said:




Men value looks A LOT!!!! Sorry, that does seem shallow, but it is just the way it is. If I were not physically attracted to someone, even if she were perfect in every other way, I just don't think I would be motivated to date her. I would want to befriend her instead.


But, it isn't all about looks. On this site, good catholic values are very important. Coming from a good family, having a good personality and sense of humor are important to. It is hard to speak for all men, but I also like a woman who is NOT overly emotional. It is very hard to date a woman who is extremely easily offended and you have to constantly worry about hurting her feelings. Actually a woman that can be a little "bitchy" (pardon my french) is more appealing than a woman who is just a crier.


Also, intelligence is important. Dumbness is not appealing. Being able to have an intellectually stimulating conversation goes a long way.

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I agree all of that's important, but I believe attractiveness can grow between people- maybe it's a girl thing, but I see people as package deals, I have seen far too many very successful arranged marriages to believe otherwise. Most guys I meet have to have "Spark" instant physical attraction.. My ex taught me that one , he said he'd never been attracted to me, tried to be, but wasn't. Said he only would be if I lost more weight for him (I'd already lost 30lbs for him). I called BS; after 2 years if it's not there, it's not there...

I gotta say, "emotional" changes over time, too. I used to be called "emotionally inept" I was the least clingy girlfriend you could have, always had my cool about me and could put a man in his place if he disrespected me; something like what my ex put me through can devastate a person- it wrecked me and made me seek constant validation, crying at the drop of a hat etc. Being emotional could just be a phase is all I'm saying. As I've heard, "everyone comes with baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack" hersheyskiss

Feb 13th 2013 new
Margo- Beautifully written!! God bless, Christina
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