Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

02/19/2013 new
That was beautifully said Matthew! Hey ladies in the 20's and 30's.....i hope you are you paying attention!
02/20/2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-942124 said: I suppose I wished that men understood that even though a woman is good at "being one of...
(Quote) Elizabeth-942124 said:

I suppose I wished that men understood that even though a woman is good at "being one of the guys," that doesn't mean she wants to stay in that position. I may be geeky as they come, I may be a little bit gritty, and I may have a lot of bravado, but inside I'm just a woman who wants to be loved and cherished as much as the next one.


Even strong-willed, determined, ambitious women don't want to be the ones holding the tiller as the boat careens away from shore. Even us warrior-types don't really want to be the strong one all the time. We want to be protected. We want to get flowers and be treated like princesses, even if a man has to strip off our armor to do it. We want to look after someone who is worthy of our laying down our arms, not just another "sensitive type" who only cares about his own feelings and will surely defer to our commands.


What I wish I had learned about guys earlier is that most of the ones in my generation are afraid of women, because they haven't been trained to be men. And more's the pity, because they hate themselves for it. They want to be heroes, but they don't know how.

--hide--

Elizabeth from one strong woman to another, I could not have said it better. I think that men see successful women as not needing anything. However, I still want a strong man to lead. I still want the suprise flowers and need the words of affirmation and encouragement. Many men do not realize how much more than men women need and desire to be affirmed and told loving things. It is not even always necessarily out of insecurity. We women just want to be loved on. The great thing is that a good man can never outgive his woman. Women are naturally giving so anything you give your lady will be returned ten fold.

02/20/2013 new

I'm so sorry that you ladies were dating (or married to) guys like that. Contrary to what you've said, the majority of guys don't do that sort of thing. All of my buddies over the years would never dream of doing that kind of thing to a lady. Just keep looking -- you'll find the right type of guy eventually.

I just can't believe that the supposed "gents" you speak of didn't have an attack of conscience at some point. I don't mean to disparage them, but it seems that they just had no morals or ignored the ones they would say that they had. Just my two cents

God Bless!

02/20/2013 new

(Quote) Kristen-878108 said: "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" (dating myself) was a really intriguing boo...
(Quote) Kristen-878108 said:

"Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" (dating myself) was a really intriguing book to me when I was in college - I really didn't understand how differently men and women interpreted reality. What's one thing you wish the opposite sex knew about you? What's one thing YOU wish you had known a bit earlier about the opposite sex?

--hide--


I spent a many years before moving away as a 3rd order Oblate working at, and doing odd jobs after work for, the Benedictine convent and the sisters' school for girls. Sr Mary Bride was short Irish woman with a lot of polish and confidence. I wish I had known what she told me one time with a big smile, "John, the reason you don't get it yet is because men go A, B, C, D, ..... to Z. We women go A, Z and wait for you men to catch up." This has proven true many many times and I am forever grateful to her for sharing.

I wish I had known the "intuitive" and "trust in the heart for matters of the heart" that often make women superior to men in many cases, such as tenderly loving a child - or a man. In such things especially, I am trudging through rationale, whereas they simply are already present and administering love and common sense. Often decisions can cause harm to this beautiful attribute, so it wasn't until later that I realized it is often good for a man to make final decisions because it can preserve the delicate love a woman is capable of, but better for all that he takes the counsel of a prudent loving woman.

I wish I had known earlier how incredible a woman's heart truely is, it has got to be the crowning touch of God in creation. For this reason a woman has the ability to raise a child or man up to the heavens or destroy them. For example, a grown woman told me of being abused by her alcoholic mother. She said me that she didn't mind the beatings, those healed. However, her words left her injured for life. (I think men can also harm a woman by words and indifference too - more than most men can possibly know.) As a cardiologist told me, the skin of women is figuratively and literally thinner than a man, inside and out. They are more sensitive to heat/cold, touch, things said and unsaid, and emotions than men he said.

I wish I had consciously known what I experienced but only recognized late in life, that the heart of a woman makes a house into a home, that abusing this gift from God can destroy both if doing things opposite God's desired will. Women can be literally awesome, elevating a empty cold house into a loving, warm, nurturing home - and I am not talking about decorations or nicknacks!

I wish I had know the capacity for women to typically feel far more emotion than a man can. Her ups and downs can be far wider than a man is capable of feeling or relating to. Men are often at a complete loss as to why some things are so important to a woman, whereas the woman's emotional range can easliy and fully cover the limited range of a man - a very good attribute for making a great wife or why I think it is good that women are so important to a child and a husband. A woman's love can often lead directly to God ...

Finally I wish I had known that many aspects of a woman are a truly a mystery(!!!) beyond the advice of Sr Mary Bride to me. Why men are attracted to women and vice versa remains a mystery to me. The person of women is usually a constantly unfolding mystery too. The mystery is most worth pursuing and rewarding to a man when secure and growing in the heart of God. This is why I think the mystery of the ark of Noah is fulfilled in Mary, our Mother. Mary's heart is truly the new ark for our time, capable of carrying us safely to Jesus in heaven and into a new era of His story with us. Her capacity for authentic love is incredible, encompassing the hearts of all peoples both men and women. We are so lucky to have such a Mother. It is no wonder why Jesus keeps honoring her with titles on earth and heaven and grants her petitions. She really reflects God so well, conceding her will in life and death and forever in heaven. She and God make heaven a home with room for all redeemed by Jesus. She and God make a Kingdom using as the family as cornerstone.

02/20/2013 new

(Quote) John-875120 said: I spent a many years before moving away as a 3rd order Oblate working at, and doing odd jobs after work ...
(Quote) John-875120 said: I spent a many years before moving away as a 3rd order Oblate working at, and doing odd jobs after work for, the Benedictine convent and the sisters' school for girls. Sr Mary Bride was short Irish woman with a lot of polish and confidence. I wish I had known what she told me one time with a big smile, "John, the reason you don't get it yet is because men go A, B, C, D, ..... to Z. We women go A, Z and wait for you men to catch up." This has proven true many many times and I am forever grateful to her for sharing.... She and God make a Kingdom using as the family as cornerstone.
--hide--



So beautifully and elequently stated - I am speachless. You made my day with this post.

02/20/2013 new
(Quote) Matthew-877277 said: What an amazing thread :-) One thing I wish I had known about women 15 years ago: Tha...
(Quote) Matthew-877277 said:

What an amazing thread :-)

One thing I wish I had known about women 15 years ago: That they want to be persued (noone told me that till grad school), but that many of them are terribly indirect about their intentions (this one has burned me several times - if only girls would just say, up front, I only like you as a friend or the opposite).


Something I wish that women knew about themselves: It's been said that men value looks, but this man, at least, believes very strongly that girls are naturally physically attractive to guys - I think that a vast, vast majority of women are stunning - and that all the makeup and hair and stress aren't worth it - if you could see yourself through our eyes for a moment, you would see just how stunning you are. There's a reason Tolkien could write, "Though all to ruin fell the world/and were dissolved and backward hurled/unmade into the old abyss,/yet were its making good, for this---/the dusk, the dawn, the earth, the sea---/That Lúthien for a time should be."

Something I wish women knew about men: That many of us are terribly, terribly insecure and non-confident (and lack of confidence is apparently like kryptonite to girls), but that this doesn't necessarily mean that we would be bad dating partners or husbands, only that at some point in the past someone kicked us in our metaphorical guts and told us we were trash, and we believed them.

--hide--
Very true statement Mathew...don't we all have insecurities? Instead of focusing on them (ourselves or our potential mates) we should be building up the good points. We don't need anyone to point out the bad ones, we already know them. -----what I wish men knew was that most women just want to be shown you love us and appreciate us for who we are and all we are. That is simple and complicated especially if we don't tell you what it is we need. My 99 year old friend who had been married for longer than my life said you have to work at marriage every day, give it your best effort every day. He is a very wise man. Eileen
02/20/2013 new

(Quote) John-875120 said: I spent a many years before moving away as a 3rd order Oblate working at, and doing o...
(Quote) John-875120 said:


I spent a many years before moving away as a 3rd order Oblate working at, and doing odd jobs after work for, the Benedictine convent and the sisters' school for girls. Sr Mary Bride was short Irish woman with a lot of polish and confidence. I wish I had known what she told me one time with a big smile, "John, the reason you don't get it yet is because men go A, B, C, D, ..... to Z. We women go A, Z and wait for you men to catch up." This has proven true many many times and I am forever grateful to her for sharing.

I wish I had known the "intuitive" and "trust in the heart for matters of the heart" that often make women superior to men in many cases, such as tenderly loving a child - or a man. In such things especially, I am trudging through rationale, whereas they simply are already present and administering love and common sense. Often decisions can cause harm to this beautiful attribute, so it wasn't until later that I realized it is often good for a man to make final decisions because it can preserve the delicate love a woman is capable of, but better for all that he takes the counsel of a prudent loving woman.

I wish I had known earlier how incredible a woman's heart truely is, it has got to be the crowning touch of God in creation. For this reason a woman has the ability to raise a child or man up to the heavens or destroy them. For example, a grown woman told me of being abused by her alcoholic mother. She said me that she didn't mind the beatings, those healed. However, her words left her injured for life. (I think men can also harm a woman by words and indifference too - more than most men can possibly know.) As a cardiologist told me, the skin of women is figuratively and literally thinner than a man, inside and out. They are more sensitive to heat/cold, touch, things said and unsaid, and emotions than men he said.

I wish I had consciously known what I experienced but only recognized late in life, that the heart of a woman makes a house into a home, that abusing this gift from God can destroy both if doing things opposite God's desired will. Women can be literally awesome, elevating a empty cold house into a loving, warm, nurturing home - and I am not talking about decorations or nicknacks!

I wish I had know the capacity for women to typically feel far more emotion than a man can. Her ups and downs can be far wider than a man is capable of feeling or relating to. Men are often at a complete loss as to why some things are so important to a woman, whereas the woman's emotional range can easliy and fully cover the limited range of a man - a very good attribute for making a great wife or why I think it is good that women are so important to a child and a husband. A woman's love can often lead directly to God ...

Finally I wish I had known that many aspects of a woman are a truly a mystery(!!!) beyond the advice of Sr Mary Bride to me. Why men are attracted to women and vice versa remains a mystery to me. The person of women is usually a constantly unfolding mystery too. The mystery is most worth pursuing and rewarding to a man when secure and growing in the heart of God. This is why I think the mystery of the ark of Noah is fulfilled in Mary, our Mother. Mary's heart is truly the new ark for our time, capable of carrying us safely to Jesus in heaven and into a new era of His story with us. Her capacity for authentic love is incredible, encompassing the hearts of all peoples both men and women. We are so lucky to have such a Mother. It is no wonder why Jesus keeps honoring her with titles on earth and heaven and grants her petitions. She really reflects God so well, conceding her will in life and death and forever in heaven. She and God make heaven a home with room for all redeemed by Jesus. She and God make a Kingdom using as the family as cornerstone.

--hide--

Wow, John, I am with Beverly! Exquisite. And, I am speechless as well and a little teared up. Thank you!

02/20/2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: I wish I knew how much men truly value looks, and how they (tend to) think it's better to hide...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

I wish I knew how much men truly value looks, and how they (tend to) think it's better to hide the truth if it'll hurt someone they care about :/

I wish men knew that it's better to not hide anything because oftentimes the act of hiding it or lying is more upsetting than whatever it was. I caught my dad telling my ex if he ever cheated on me to not tell me, just don't let it happen again. Neither understood why that upset me! If that were the case and he told me, we'd work through it- lie and I find out about it? Far FAR worse. Little things, too. Don't like my dinner? Tell me so I can make it better. Don't tell me you love it so I keep making it and eventually feel like an idiot when I find out you hate it...even if it's meant to spare feelings, being lied to and finding out about it feels cruel and heartbreaking (to me, anyhow)

--hide--

Love what you said Mary! biggrin Everybody needs to tell the truth. No one should ever say something unless they mean it. Not telling the truth would make things worse. Always tell the truth and tell nothing but the truth.

For me about looks, they definetly matter as much as what's in the heart. When there is no first impression then there is no impression at all. Looks are always the first impression because it's your packaging.

02/20/2013 new

(Quote) Steve-111719 said:I guess I'd have to say that I wish that women knew that guys need to hear what's wrong w...
(Quote) Steve-111719 said:

I guess I'd have to say that I wish that women knew that guys need to hear what's wrong when the lady is upset. Guys just aren't good mind-readers. I guess it all comes down to communication. Since we are so different (or as you say: from Mars and from Venus), it a good idea to truly communicate, especially when something is wrong.

--hide--

I can't speak for all women, but if I say nothing is wrong (when it's obvious something is) or I say I don't want to talk about it, I usually mean that it's just not important enough to get into a big discussion about it. Or maybe I don't even really know why I'm upset or can't put it into words.

02/20/2013 new

(Quote) John-875120 said: I spent a many years before moving away as a 3rd order Oblate working at, and doing o...
(Quote) John-875120 said:


I spent a many years before moving away as a 3rd order Oblate working at, and doing odd jobs after work for, the Benedictine convent and the sisters' school for girls. Sr Mary Bride was short Irish woman with a lot of polish and confidence. I wish I had known what she told me one time with a big smile, "John, the reason you don't get it yet is because men go A, B, C, D, ..... to Z. We women go A, Z and wait for you men to catch up." This has proven true many many times and I am forever grateful to her for sharing.

I wish I had known the "intuitive" and "trust in the heart for matters of the heart" that often make women superior to men in many cases, such as tenderly loving a child - or a man. In such things especially, I am trudging through rationale, whereas they simply are already present and administering love and common sense. Often decisions can cause harm to this beautiful attribute, so it wasn't until later that I realized it is often good for a man to make final decisions because it can preserve the delicate love a woman is capable of, but better for all that he takes the counsel of a prudent loving woman.

I wish I had known earlier how incredible a woman's heart truely is, it has got to be the crowning touch of God in creation. For this reason a woman has the ability to raise a child or man up to the heavens or destroy them. For example, a grown woman told me of being abused by her alcoholic mother. She said me that she didn't mind the beatings, those healed. However, her words left her injured for life. (I think men can also harm a woman by words and indifference too - more than most men can possibly know.) As a cardiologist told me, the skin of women is figuratively and literally thinner than a man, inside and out. They are more sensitive to heat/cold, touch, things said and unsaid, and emotions than men he said.

I wish I had consciously known what I experienced but only recognized late in life, that the heart of a woman makes a house into a home, that abusing this gift from God can destroy both if doing things opposite God's desired will. Women can be literally awesome, elevating a empty cold house into a loving, warm, nurturing home - and I am not talking about decorations or nicknacks!

I wish I had know the capacity for women to typically feel far more emotion than a man can. Her ups and downs can be far wider than a man is capable of feeling or relating to. Men are often at a complete loss as to why some things are so important to a woman, whereas the woman's emotional range can easliy and fully cover the limited range of a man - a very good attribute for making a great wife or why I think it is good that women are so important to a child and a husband. A woman's love can often lead directly to God ...

Finally I wish I had known that many aspects of a woman are a truly a mystery(!!!) beyond the advice of Sr Mary Bride to me. Why men are attracted to women and vice versa remains a mystery to me. The person of women is usually a constantly unfolding mystery too. The mystery is most worth pursuing and rewarding to a man when secure and growing in the heart of God. This is why I think the mystery of the ark of Noah is fulfilled in Mary, our Mother. Mary's heart is truly the new ark for our time, capable of carrying us safely to Jesus in heaven and into a new era of His story with us. Her capacity for authentic love is incredible, encompassing the hearts of all peoples both men and women. We are so lucky to have such a Mother. It is no wonder why Jesus keeps honoring her with titles on earth and heaven and grants her petitions. She really reflects God so well, conceding her will in life and death and forever in heaven. She and God make heaven a home with room for all redeemed by Jesus. She and God make a Kingdom using as the family as cornerstone.

--hide--

John quite simply WOW. If more men treasured women as you do the world would be a happy place. As I have said to you in the past a man like you will be beating them off with a stick. Keep shining that example of authentic Catholic manhood. hug clap

Posts 81 - 90 of 103