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Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-942124 said: Either way, as long as you aren't saying creepy stuff, but just having a normal conversat...
(Quote) Elizabeth-942124 said:

Either way, as long as you aren't saying creepy stuff, but just having a normal conversation, it should be fine.


Just don't lead with "How's it going, future wife?" or "You have beautiful hair. I'd like to touch it."


If you avoid that madness, no one should think you're creepy. If they do, they need a spine.

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HAHA duly noted.

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Richard-791226 said: How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the c...
(Quote) Richard-791226 said: How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the chat feature to talk to you when you're online? Should there have been some communication already? Would chatting right away make you feel uncomfortable and make him look like a creeper? Haha I've never chatted first thing before but it dawned on me tonight that it might be a bit more natural to start communicating by actually having a conversation with someone rather than trying to write out a message first. Thoughts?
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I have had requests for chats with no prior communication and I have never accepted the chat. I would prefer a couple of messages/emotes first and then chats. A few chats and then a phone call, don't be chatting forever and not ask for a telephone number (unless you're not interested anymore). Now some would say that requesting a chat would be like a man coming up to a woman in real life and talking to her out of the blue in church or at the grocery store and some would say that was ok--but that's in real life, this is online. Just my opinion biggrin

Feb 13th 2013 new

I agree with all of the women stating that they'd like a message in advance of the chat - it is awkward when you get a chat request and are not familiar with who the person is. I like to look at their profile in advance so I can know a bit about them to make the conversation more meaningful.

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Richard-791226 said: How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the c...
(Quote) Richard-791226 said: How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the chat feature to talk to you when you're online? Should there have been some communication already? Would chatting right away make you feel uncomfortable and make him look like a creeper? Haha I've never chatted first thing before but it dawned on me tonight that it might be a bit more natural to start communicating by actually having a conversation with someone rather than trying to write out a message first. Thoughts?
--hide--


It sounds very natural to chat, not creepy at all. Best of luck to ya.

Feb 14th 2013 new

I don't use this for dating but I will say there have been times I want to say something to someone but I don't because sending a random message seems stilted or awkward. So, if there's a chat feature, then it might be better.


I have to say not IMing people keeps me out of trouble, though - if I could say what's on my mind right now, I'd probably get myself kicked off the site. Someone is making broad blanket statements and the subtle hints they might be hurtful from women are going completely over his head on two threads. (It's not you, don't panic!)

Feb 14th 2013 new

Also consider the chat function itself. It takes 90 minutes for a person to appear "offline" when they close the browser or move on to a different site, unless the manually log out.


It could look/feel like your request is being ignored.


The chat function is also not the most reliable thing on this site. Pretty buggy, technically speaking.


I'd go with messaging or emoting first.

Feb 14th 2013 new

90 minutes?! You'd think that'd be an easy enough thing to fix.

Ok, thanks for the advice!

Feb 19th 2013 new

It's not creepy at all! But make sure you look at her profile first. That way at least you have some thing to start chatting about and doesn't look like you are super bored and just want to chat with anyone.

Feb 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Richard-791226 said: How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the c...
(Quote) Richard-791226 said: How would you feel if a guy you've previously had to contact with on this site started using the chat feature to talk to you when you're online? Should there have been some communication already? Would chatting right away make you feel uncomfortable and make him look like a creeper? Haha I've never chatted first thing before but it dawned on me tonight that it might be a bit more natural to start communicating by actually having a conversation with someone rather than trying to write out a message first. Thoughts?
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Richard, it wouldn't bother me at all. I think it would be nice.

Feb 22nd 2013 new

I don't think it's creepy, but I would probably prefer a message first if we had never been in contact before.

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