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Saint Vitus is the patron saint of actors, comedians, dancers, and of entertainers in general.
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Laugh in lent

Feb 12th 2013 new

Is it allowed to laugh in Lent? If you have this question in mind.

In Proverbs 17:22, it is written A merry heart is a good medicine: but a broken spirit drieth up the bones. God wants us to laugh and be happy because laughter heals in ways medicine cant. It can do miracles to our body as well as our spirits.

I will start with a laughter to add. Anyone who has a joke related to Lent is more than welcomed to post it here.

Have a merry and blessed Lent. biggrin

Giving up in Lent!

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers.

The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.

An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more.

This happens yet again.

The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"

'Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."

The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening - he orders only two beers.

The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two beers and all..."

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well.

It's just that I, myself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent." laughing laughing laughing laughing :

Feb 12th 2013 new

You know you're a true Catholic when you Genuflect before entering the seat at the movie theatre. wink laughing laughing

Feb 13th 2013 new
This is wonderful. nd i cannot top that. I wish in those years when I gave up drinking for Lent I could have such a witty comeback to the folks that asked "if there was something wrong with me"
Feb 13th 2013 new

laughing laughing laughing

I really like that one, Therese!

My joke isn't a Lent-specific joke, but it was told during a homily by a visiting priest when I lived in Kentucky a few years back:



A Catholic priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant reverend were having their weekly lunch together when the reverend asked if the other two ever had problems with bats at their places of worship. The reverend explained that there were bats living in his church's belfry and that he wanted to know how to get rid of them.

The rabbi mentioned that he currently had a problem with bats at his synagogue as well. He said that had tried scaring them off by shooting off fireworks, and it worked for a short time, but that the bats came back. He had tried an exterminator and that had worked for a while as well, but the bats eventually came back again. He said that he was out of ideas on how to get rid of the problem.

Then the priest mentioned that he had had a similar problem with bats in his church's belfry a few years ago, but that he didn't anymore. The reverend and the rabbi were excited that the priest had found something that had worked to get rid of the bats, so they asked what he had done.

The priest replied that they wouldn't be able to do what he had done to get rid of the bats. They asked why not.

Then the priest said "Well, after trying all the same things that you did, it finally came to me. I baptized the bats, gave them Holy Communion, and confirmed them. After that, I never saw them again."



Did I mention that the priest was discussing mass attendance that day? laughing I guess it was just his humorous way of getting his point across.

Feb 14th 2013 new
(Quote) Linda-624584 said: You know you're a true Catholic when you Genuflect before entering the seat at the movie theatre.
(Quote) Linda-624584 said:

You know you're a true Catholic when you Genuflect before entering the seat at the movie theatre.

--hide--


laughing laughing laughing laughing
Feb 14th 2013 new
(Quote) Steve-111719 said: I really like that one, Therese!My joke isn't a Lent-specific joke, but it was told durin...
(Quote) Steve-111719 said:



I really like that one, Therese!

My joke isn't a Lent-specific joke, but it was told during a homily by a visiting priest when I lived in Kentucky a few years back:



A Catholic priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant reverend were having their weekly lunch together when the reverend asked if the other two ever had problems with bats at their places of worship. The reverend explained that there were bats living in his church's belfry and that he wanted to know how to get rid of them.

The rabbi mentioned that he currently had a problem with bats at his synagogue as well. He said that had tried scaring them off by shooting off fireworks, and it worked for a short time, but that the bats came back. He had tried an exterminator and that had worked for a while as well, but the bats eventually came back again. He said that he was out of ideas on how to get rid of the problem.

Then the priest mentioned that he had had a similar problem with bats in his church's belfry a few years ago, but that he didn't anymore. The reverend and the rabbi were excited that the priest had found something that had worked to get rid of the bats, so they asked what he had done.

The priest replied that they wouldn't be able to do what he had done to get rid of the bats. They asked why not.

Then the priest said "Well, after trying all the same things that you did, it finally came to me. I baptized the bats, gave them Holy Communion, and confirmed them. After that, I never saw them again."



Did I mention that the priest was discussing mass attendance that day? I guess it was just his humorous way of getting his point across.

--hide--


laughing laughing laughing Good one Steve.

I hope people on CM are doing better laughing
Feb 14th 2013 new
The sin of lying!

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.

Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Feb 14th 2013 new
(Quote) Linda-624584 said: You know you're a true Catholic when you Genuflect before entering the seat at the movie theatre.
(Quote) Linda-624584 said:

You know you're a true Catholic when you Genuflect before entering the seat at the movie theatre.

--hide--
That is a good one Linda!
Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Therese-668052 said: The sin of lying! A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan t...
(Quote) Therese-668052 said: The sin of lying!

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.

Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
--hide--




These folks were caught with their hands in the not so smart cookie jar :)

Feb 16th 2013 new
Sister Agnes, old and deaf, was pre-Vatican II but
obediently gave in to orders that she wear the scandalous new habit where the headdress did not even cover
her ears when she substituted at St. Francis de Sales School for
Girls.

But she was too vain to wear her huge hearing aids. Today she was having each child shout what career she wanted. Little Suzy stood and
announced, “I WANT TO BE A PROSTITUTE!”

Sister Agnes screamed and kept
screaming until the principal, Sister Blase, ran into the
classroom.

“What in Heaven’s name . . .”

The old nun pointed a
withered finger. “Did you hear
what that child said?!?”

“No, Sister Agnes, and you didn’t hear her
either without your hearing aids. Put them in
now.”

Sister Agnes inserted the molds and tucked the appliances behind each ear. “Suzy,” she
said, “tell Sister Blase what you told me.”

Suzy repeated proudly, “I
want to be a prostitute.”

Sister Agnes suddenly hugged the little girl. “Oh, I’m so sorry, dear. I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant.”
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