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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: I know that I may get shot down and crucified but I just felt that it had to be said. As...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

I know that I may get shot down and crucified but I just felt that it had to be said. As Catholics if someone's marriage is not annulled they are STILL married sacramentally. Therefore they should not be dating or seeking exclusive friendships with the other sex. That is a hard message but it is the truth. When you think of it the Church does that to protect us from this heartache. Getting involved with a married man usually won't end well. As a sister in Christ who cares about you I cannot encourage you to do so with a clear concience.

I am truly sorry for your plight and I can only imagine the hurt and frustration. I am not coming in judgement but I also did not want to not condone something that we really should not be engaging in. Just keep praying and trusting in God. You are wonderful woman and he will bring the right person who is not currently married. Also married people generally need to heal from their hurt from a previous marriage in order to even have hope of success in a future one both from the Churches perspective and secular psycology. The annulement process is meant for that purpose and it even states that in the paperwork as I went through it. I am only speaking out as I hate to see people setting themselves up for hurt. God will provide a good unmarried man for you. Just trust and wait.

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I didnt and couldn't allow a romantic relationship to occur. We talked we were friends and yes, I encouraged him to try to get his annulment. Thanks for sharing your concern. You are not wrong. I agree with you. Developing a relationship is wrong because he is still married with in the eyes of the church and even if he did pursue an annulment there is no guarantee that it would be granted. What happens to peoples hearts if they have invested and that happens. It is a recipe for a train wreck. I dont want to hurt anyone

Feb 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: As Catholics if someone's marriage is not annulled they are STILL married sacramentally.
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

As Catholics if someone's marriage is not annulled they are STILL married sacramentally.

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This statement is missing three crucial words: "presumed to be" (inserted following 'still'). Remember that an annulment (formally, a decree of nullity) doesn't change the state of a marriage; it is a declaration that the marriage tribunal has determined that a valid marriage never existed.

I use the term 'valid' rather than 'sacramental' because the latter applies only to marriages of two baptized Christians. Marriages where at least one spouse is not a baptized Christian may be valid (i.e., the spouses are not eligible to marry in the Catholic Church after a divorce and a decree of nullity cannot be issued) but will never be sacramental. All valid marriages of two baptized Christians are sacramental, and vice versa.

Feb 17th 2013 new
I will risk the backlash but WHY are Catholics dating at all without a decreeof nulity? Why is it that the church is not completely clear on this? Lisa Duffy has been a wealth of knowledge for me but it should be made clear to everyone by yhe Church. With some priests advising that dating is fine as long as it is not physical and others pointing out it's adultry. There needs to be blunt clarity and direction since sadly the divorce statistics are what they are and generations of children are learning what is acceptable through us, their divorced parents.
Feb 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Dana-782979 said: I will risk the backlash but WHY are Catholics dating at all without a decreeof nulity? Why is it that the church i...
(Quote) Dana-782979 said: I will risk the backlash but WHY are Catholics dating at all without a decreeof nulity? Why is it that the church is not completely clear on this? Lisa Duffy has been a wealth of knowledge for me but it should be made clear to everyone by yhe Church. With some priests advising that dating is fine as long as it is not physical and others pointing out it's adultry. There needs to be blunt clarity and direction since sadly the divorce statistics are what they are and generations of children are learning what is acceptable through us, their divorced parents.
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I think that it really does come down to education on these matters. Sadly though... this is in the divorced room and other people wont be learning from it
Feb 19th 2013 new

It may take time and patience, but perhaps it would be best to concentrate only on men who've at least begun the process. I don't know how long this gentleman had been divorcecd, but I can tell you that should be at least a year. Even after a year, I thought I was ready to date (granted I didn't give any thought at the time to the annulment issue because I wasn't practicing the faith), but in hindsight(8 years later) I wasn't.

Feb 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Dana-782979 said: I will risk the backlash but WHY are Catholics dating at all without a decreeof nulity? Why is it that th...
(Quote) Dana-782979 said: I will risk the backlash but WHY are Catholics dating at all without a decreeof nulity? Why is it that the church is not completely clear on this? Lisa Duffy has been a wealth of knowledge for me but it should be made clear to everyone by yhe Church. With some priests advising that dating is fine as long as it is not physical and others pointing out it's adultry. There needs to be blunt clarity and direction since sadly the divorce statistics are what they are and generations of children are learning what is acceptable through us, their divorced parents.
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Dana we could not agree more. If a Catholic is truly interested in what the Church teaches, it is pretty clear. However the way in which some priests and tribunals are practically applying that teaching is another story and in the end it is single Catholics who can end up hurt and confused. I can't really say more right now but we are working on some projects that we hope will help clear up some of these things , not just for people on CatholicMatch but in the whole Church.

Feb 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Loretta-678584 said: I think that it really does come down to education on these matters. Sadly though... this is in the di...
(Quote) Loretta-678584 said: I think that it really does come down to education on these matters. Sadly though... this is in the divorced room and other people wont be learning from it
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Anyone that cares to may come into the Divorced room and read. They are only held back from posting in here..

Feb 19th 2013 new
(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Anyone that cares to may come into the Divorced room and read. They are only held b...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


Anyone that cares to may come into the Divorced room and read. They are only held back from posting in here..

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VERY TRUE!
Feb 19th 2013 new
(Quote) Patrick-441919 said: It may take time and patience, but perhaps it would be best to concentrate only on men who've at least be...
(Quote) Patrick-441919 said:

It may take time and patience, but perhaps it would be best to concentrate only on men who've at least begun the process. I don't know how long this gentleman had been divorcecd, but I can tell you that should be at least a year. Even after a year, I thought I was ready to date (granted I didn't give any thought at the time to the annulment issue because I wasn't practicing the faith), but in hindsight(8 years later) I wasn't.

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Patrick, he had been divorced for nearly 10 years. The problem I have with dating men who don't have their annulments is that they may not get them. There simply is no guarantee. You are kind in trying to be supportive and encouraging however.
Feb 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Brian-278516 said: Dana we could not agree more. If a Catholic is truly interested in what the Church teach...
(Quote) Brian-278516 said:

Dana we could not agree more. If a Catholic is truly interested in what the Church teaches, it is pretty clear. However the way in which some priests and tribunals are practically applying that teaching is another story and in the end it is single Catholics who can end up hurt and confused. I can't really say more right now but we are working on some projects that we hope will help clear up some of these things , not just for people on CatholicMatch but in the whole Church.

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Brian I am so happy to hear this. I do believe that the leaders of the Church do need to step up and educate EVERYONE and hopefully this will facilitate that process. In the end we all have free will but I pray that more people will live as God has asked. I think our children deserve nothing less from any of us. Praying

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