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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Feb 21st 2013 new
(Quote) Brian-278516 said: Dana we could not agree more. If a Catholic is truly interested in what the Church teaches, it is prett...
(Quote) Brian-278516 said:

Dana we could not agree more. If a Catholic is truly interested in what the Church teaches, it is pretty clear. However the way in which some priests and tribunals are practically applying that teaching is another story and in the end it is single Catholics who can end up hurt and confused. I can't really say more right now but we are working on some projects that we hope will help clear up some of these things , not just for people on CatholicMatch but in the whole Church.

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God bless you in your efforts
Feb 28th 2013 new
Cat this is all new to me and I never thought that some women might shy away,but in my case I wasn't married in the church and my ex wasn't ever baptized so my priest is telling the process should go quickly and not hit any road blocks,hope he's right.Maybe I should mention this somehow in my profile?
Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Tom-925515 said: Cat this is all new to me and I never thought that some women might shy away,but in my case I wasn't m...
(Quote) Tom-925515 said: Cat this is all new to me and I never thought that some women might shy away,but in my case I wasn't married in the church and my ex wasn't ever baptized so my priest is telling the process should go quickly and not hit any road blocks,hope he's right.Maybe I should mention this somehow in my profile?
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Tom, that might be helpful for you to mention it. Given the information you have shared, you may only need a "lack of form" annulment. But I guess you already know that since you have already spoken with your priest. I'm in the same boat as you!

Cat

Mar 2nd 2013 new

I went to an informational annulment session offered by my diocese and almost ALL of those in attendance were engaged to be married but "just needed the annulment" so they could get married in the Catholic Church shocked Even more amazing was that the presenters assumed that all attendees were engaged eyepopping. Myself and one other gentleman (and there were at least 30 attendees) were NOT engaged or seriously dating boggled. The most frequently asked question from the attendees was, "what are the grounds for an annulment?". They wanted to make sure that they answered the questions in such a way that they would have a greater chance for an annulment boggled. THe main presenter was a tribunal lawyer and he refused to answer that question but as soon as he left the room the advocates took over and started individually answering the question, just to satisfy the attendees rolling eyes. I was absolutely sickened by what I observed irked.

Mar 2nd 2013 new

I encountered the best advice on a Catholic site, from a workshop I attended...I can't quote it directly, but it is such a beautiful idea, that I can get close.

When the woman who owns the site was younger and single, she worried about finding a good and holy spouse. She wondered about this out loud, at a Catholic retreat, asking the priest how to go about finding a good Catholic man.

The priest told her to, "Run towards God. Do not stop running towards him. When your focus is in the correct place, you will find peace. When you are whole, strong, and able, turn to your side and see who is running with you. That person is your spouse."

I found this so poignant for singles of all ages. This site will help you keep your focus as you share with other Catholics. It has brought me a lot of peace. It is funny, but I actually took myself off of the site a week after joining. I then signed up again, a day or so later. It was so new to me, stepping out and introducing myself. I am glad I decided to continue.

I can honestly say I started my annulment shortly after my divorce, but it was so very painful to relive everything, that I sat it down. While the divorce was final, saying that my marriage was not sacramental. While the final determination is made by the Tribunal, asking for a review was very hard. It was not easy to accept because the graces we receive from the sacraments. I wanted to believe my marriage was blessed with those graces.

I left my husband two years ago and the divorce has been final for over a year. I recently completed draft 4 of my narrative for the annulment. I started the process, yet until recently I was not ready to finalize the process. I spent time healing and continue to "Run towards God." My ex husband did not complete a narrative but advised the Tribunal that he would accept their decision. He starting dating before our divorce was final. He is not a bad man, just human. I continue to pray for him as he is the father of my boys. All of our witnesses have replied and I will turn in my final draft, this week.

The reason I say this is that I have asked and it is okay for those not yet annulled to reach out in friendship. Keep praying for your future spouse, whoever that may be. Stick to running towards God and do not settle for anything less than a spouse who knows that both of you need to be free to be married in the Church, so that you may receive all of the graces that God wishes you to have.

My son and I just went to Confession and we lit candles. I lit one for everyone on this site. You are all in my prayers. God Bless you, Loretta.

Mar 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Jeanine-943484 said: I encountered the best advice on a Catholic site, from a workshop I attended...I can't quot...
(Quote) Jeanine-943484 said:

I encountered the best advice on a Catholic site, from a workshop I attended...I can't quote it directly, but it is such a beautiful idea, that I can get close.

When the woman who owns the site was younger and single, she worried about finding a good and holy spouse. She wondered about this out loud, at a Catholic retreat, asking the priest how to go about finding a good Catholic man.

The priest told her to, "Run towards God. Do not stop running towards him. When your focus is in the correct place, you will find peace. When you are whole, strong, and able, turn to your side and see who is running with you. That person is your spouse."

My son and I just went to Confession and we lit candles. I lit one for everyone on this site. You are all in my prayers. God Bless you, Loretta.

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Hi, Jeanine,


I would be interested in knowing more about this site that you referenced. What you told us was very intriguing & worth more exploration. So if you can share the name of the site or the woman who owns it, I would appreciate it.


Thanks also for lighting candles for those of us on this CM site!

Mar 23rd 2013 new

That's a good one. I fall into the category of one who doesn't have an annulment, though I am working on it. This is a tricky one. I know some women who absolutely won't talk/date anyone until after the annulment is done and others that will. Like anything, this requires discernment. I think each situation is different. I know for me that I lagged for a year in getting my paperwork filled out. I think if I had some encouragement, I would have done it sooner. Without encouragement, sometimes we get caught up in our stuff. In my case, it was way too much work. But, I'm moving along, so we will see. But, if the person isn't moving in the direction of an annulment, then it's time to move in another direction.

One of the other members talked about planting a seed. This is sometimes frustrating to do. And living our Catholic faith is difficult enough. I run into the same questions when wondering if I should contact a woman who does not answer yes to all 7 faith questions. There is often times significant resistence when we get to talking about those questions. What I do is not make a hard/fast rule against contacting women who aren't 7 of 7. But rather I practice discernment. I communicate and go out with the person until I hear God say it is time to go. But, I have found that some of the women have thanked me for my time and even though the relationship didn't last, each of us came closer to God.

My advice would be to make sure that I was walking and listening to God in regards to the other person. He will tell you whether or not you should communicate with them.

God Bless,Will

Mar 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Loretta-678584 said: I encountered ANOTHER great man who doesn't have an annulment. Over the course of time I ha...
(Quote) Loretta-678584 said:

I encountered ANOTHER great man who doesn't have an annulment. Over the course of time I have been hurt by this. I try to remain friends until the said process is done. I asked this man about his marriage to try to discern the likelihood of an annulment even being granted. I asked him to ask his priest about it. Now after a lovely friendship has developed, he wont talk to me. Am I suppose to just NOT TALK to these folks? I don't want to hurt them any more than I want to be hurt. Please God help me as I walk through this mine field of the dating world! It als seems that the vast majority of the men in my area fall into this category. How sad.

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Hi Loretta,

Sorry to hear about your frustration. There is nothing more irritating than being left hanging and wondering. Unfortunately, in online dating, it's very easy for people to just start ignoring someone they're talking to just because it's easier than saying "I decided I don't want to correspond anymore." I'm not saying that's the case with this particular person you're talking about...but when this is the case, it takes a little while to figure out. In the meantime people are left to wonder what happened. Internet dating being so impersonal makes it easy to do things like that. I don't like doing that, or when it happens to me, but in this venue, it's unavoidable.

I hope you're able to start talking again, and if not, then God has someone else in mind for you. I'm sure you'll find him.


-Amy

Mar 24th 2013 new

Loretta,

Many of us who are divorced were not the ones to ask for a divorce. Divorce is a life changing event. Receiving an annulment is not easy either. It is also emotional. It also takes time to receive one. I think until you have walked in someone shoes ie. getting divorced and then applying for an annulment and waiting to receive one it is unfair to judge.

Mar 26th 2013 new
Hello Loretta, l appreciate reading your post...l am new to the site and curious...l myself do not have an annulment...l think l could get one easily...but l wanted to encourage you to just let that man go and as hard as it is...to not second guess yourself. Someone who is right for you would not go silent like he did. Internet dating is sort of not like "real life." Patience and faith are key..l think. Deanna
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