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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Am I old-fashioned?

Feb 14th 2013 new

Is it old-fashioned to want a guy to make the first contact? I am new to using online dating sites and I struggle to decide whether or not I, as the girl, should make contact or wait for the guy to do so. I like the traditional aspect of a guy making the first move, but what are the "rules" when everyone has put themselves out there for contact on a dating site? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Feb 14th 2013 new

Hey Katie,

I am a lot like you and still believe in gentlemen and chivalry. For a long time, I looked at profiles but didn't send any messages, hoping that if the guy looked at my profile in return, he would contact me. I got a few bites, but not many. I decided to change my tactics....updated my profile, added a few pictures, and was much more proactive in my search, sending out "smiles" and "hellos". In doing so, I had more messages in about a week than I had in months. I still think it's ok to want the man to take the lead, but from what I gather from reading posts from various men, we need to give them a little encouragement! If there is someone that you are truly interested in, say hi! He can take it from there.


Megan

Feb 14th 2013 new

Hi Katie and welcome to CM and the forum. I would agree with Megan, sometimes us guys can be a little bit hesitant of sending an e-mail. Like in real life and flirting. If a guy flirts with you and you have an interest you're going to flirt back right? Without that flirting most of the time a gentelman will take a hint and gracefully move aside. That being said I have gotten much bolder recently and started sending messages to women I have an interest in.

Feb 14th 2013 new

(Quote) Katie-934315 said: Is it old-fashioned to want a guy to make the first contact? I am new to using online dating site...
(Quote) Katie-934315 said:

Is it old-fashioned to want a guy to make the first contact? I am new to using online dating sites and I struggle to decide whether or not I, as the girl, should make contact or wait for the guy to do so. I like the traditional aspect of a guy making the first move, but what are the "rules" when everyone has put themselves out there for contact on a dating site? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

--hide--

Katie: send emotigrams. Messages are like going over and talking to somebody. It's fine to let him do that. However, if a guy looks at you from across the room, you can flash him an inviting smile, right? Same thing. Women have always had cues to encourage a man to take the lead. Try it! Short little hello messages on emotigrams is a great idea.

Feb 16th 2013 new

I like the emotigram idea, and also how everyone related the emotigrams and messaging to how it would work out in a face to face contact. Thanks for the ideas!



Feb 17th 2013 new

I don't think it is old fashioned; I think it is wonderful. I know online dating can sometimes be fustrating, and it often takes longer than first hoped, but I would not quit yet.biggrin

Feb 17th 2013 new

I feel the same way honey, stick to your guns, I have no problems dropping a hanky but if a man doesn't want to pick it up, or expects me to keep after him, then, no thanks....

Feb 18th 2013 new

I am the same way. I wish the guy would take the first move, but I have sent out some emotigrams and not gotten anything in return.

Feb 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Gary-936836 said: Katie: send emotigrams. Messages are like going over and talking to somebody. It's fi...
(Quote) Gary-936836 said:

Katie: send emotigrams. Messages are like going over and talking to somebody. It's fine to let him do that. However, if a guy looks at you from across the room, you can flash him an inviting smile, right? Same thing. Women have always had cues to encourage a man to take the lead. Try it! Short little hello messages on emotigrams is a great idea.

--hide--


I agree! biggrin,

Feb 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said: I feel the same way honey, stick to your guns, I have no problems dropping a hanky but if a man...
(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said:

I feel the same way honey, stick to your guns, I have no problems dropping a hanky but if a man doesn't want to pick it up, or expects me to keep after him, then, no thanks....

--hide--


Jackie always gives good advice...in fact, she is famous for it!

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