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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Am I old-fashioned?

02/14/2013 new

Is it old-fashioned to want a guy to make the first contact? I am new to using online dating sites and I struggle to decide whether or not I, as the girl, should make contact or wait for the guy to do so. I like the traditional aspect of a guy making the first move, but what are the "rules" when everyone has put themselves out there for contact on a dating site? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

02/14/2013 new

Hey Katie,

I am a lot like you and still believe in gentlemen and chivalry. For a long time, I looked at profiles but didn't send any messages, hoping that if the guy looked at my profile in return, he would contact me. I got a few bites, but not many. I decided to change my tactics....updated my profile, added a few pictures, and was much more proactive in my search, sending out "smiles" and "hellos". In doing so, I had more messages in about a week than I had in months. I still think it's ok to want the man to take the lead, but from what I gather from reading posts from various men, we need to give them a little encouragement! If there is someone that you are truly interested in, say hi! He can take it from there.


Megan

02/14/2013 new

Hi Katie and welcome to CM and the forum. I would agree with Megan, sometimes us guys can be a little bit hesitant of sending an e-mail. Like in real life and flirting. If a guy flirts with you and you have an interest you're going to flirt back right? Without that flirting most of the time a gentelman will take a hint and gracefully move aside. That being said I have gotten much bolder recently and started sending messages to women I have an interest in.

02/14/2013 new

(Quote) Katie-934315 said: Is it old-fashioned to want a guy to make the first contact? I am new to using online dating site...
(Quote) Katie-934315 said:

Is it old-fashioned to want a guy to make the first contact? I am new to using online dating sites and I struggle to decide whether or not I, as the girl, should make contact or wait for the guy to do so. I like the traditional aspect of a guy making the first move, but what are the "rules" when everyone has put themselves out there for contact on a dating site? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

--hide--

Katie: send emotigrams. Messages are like going over and talking to somebody. It's fine to let him do that. However, if a guy looks at you from across the room, you can flash him an inviting smile, right? Same thing. Women have always had cues to encourage a man to take the lead. Try it! Short little hello messages on emotigrams is a great idea.

02/16/2013 new

I like the emotigram idea, and also how everyone related the emotigrams and messaging to how it would work out in a face to face contact. Thanks for the ideas!



02/17/2013 new

I don't think it is old fashioned; I think it is wonderful. I know online dating can sometimes be fustrating, and it often takes longer than first hoped, but I would not quit yet.biggrin

02/17/2013 new

I feel the same way honey, stick to your guns, I have no problems dropping a hanky but if a man doesn't want to pick it up, or expects me to keep after him, then, no thanks....

02/18/2013 new

I am the same way. I wish the guy would take the first move, but I have sent out some emotigrams and not gotten anything in return.

02/18/2013 new

(Quote) Gary-936836 said: Katie: send emotigrams. Messages are like going over and talking to somebody. It's fi...
(Quote) Gary-936836 said:

Katie: send emotigrams. Messages are like going over and talking to somebody. It's fine to let him do that. However, if a guy looks at you from across the room, you can flash him an inviting smile, right? Same thing. Women have always had cues to encourage a man to take the lead. Try it! Short little hello messages on emotigrams is a great idea.

--hide--


I agree! biggrin,

02/19/2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said: I feel the same way honey, stick to your guns, I have no problems dropping a hanky but if a man...
(Quote) Jacqueline-198 said:

I feel the same way honey, stick to your guns, I have no problems dropping a hanky but if a man doesn't want to pick it up, or expects me to keep after him, then, no thanks....

--hide--


Jackie always gives good advice...in fact, she is famous for it!

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