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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I went to a Catholic college for a year and was never asked out. It was very a tiny schoo...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



I went to a Catholic college for a year and was never asked out. It was very a tiny school though with tiny classes.
Then I went to a larger school and was propositioned. Honestly, dating is not what we had hoped is it?

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I don't know. I never really got to find out. ;-)

Feb 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Is this a bad thing?It seems to me that the ideal situation is to meet someone (throu...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Is this a bad thing?


It seems to me that the ideal situation is to meet someone (through the means mentioned in the article -- family, work, etc.), establish a friendship, and move to dating as a method of discernment. Example, my parents were family friends for years before my father proposed, after which they had a regular weekly date to get to know each other before marrying.


Dating as done since WWII seems to me to be artificial and superficial way of getting to know someone.

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Yes Marge as usual right on target. My parents did the exact same thing! My naive question: why are men on this site if they only want sex..do they think we are naive,,,desparate, dumb, too something,,,,only been here a short time and it's well not what I thought it was gonna be...I knew it was not gonna be perfect, but wow, some people have a lotta nerve. Ice Skating

Feb 16th 2013 new

...And what [i]is[/i] traditional dating? Prior to WWII, traditional dating meant going out on a series of dates, with a chaperon, in public settings. In the late 18th/early 19th C, well, all you have to do is read [u]Emma[/u] to understand some of the complexities of dating in that era. In the 18th C, there was the whole language of the fan (myhandfan.com which is sort of like text messaging before there was text messaging. Also, don't forget, there were plenty of bethrothals where you never met your spouse until you were wed - common still in some parts of the world.

So, the idea of "tradtional" dating is just nostolzia for something that never really existed. Life has always been complicated - we just find new ways to complicate it further.

Feb 16th 2013 new

Couldn't agree more. thumbsup

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-384374 said: ...And what is traditional dating? Prior to WWII, traditional dating meant going out o...
(Quote) Elizabeth-384374 said:

...And what [i]is[/i] traditional dating? Prior to WWII, traditional dating meant going out on a series of dates, with a chaperon, in public settings. In the late 18th/early 19th C, well, all you have to do is read [u]Emma[/u] to understand some of the complexities of dating in that era. In the 18th C, there was the whole language of the fan (myhandfan.com which is sort of like text messaging before there was text messaging. Also, don't forget, there were plenty of bethrothals where you never met your spouse until you were wed - common still in some parts of the world.

So, the idea of "tradtional" dating is just nostolzia for something that never really existed. Life has always been complicated - we just find new ways to complicate it further.

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I agree with you to an extent (that things were never "uncomplicated" per se) however women were at a clear advantage back then compared to women today. Men were more intentional and the fact that easy sex wasn't a socially acceptable norm meant that people didn't date for 10 years while playing house. They got on with courtship and marriage! And I'm not for women taking advantage of men or treating them poorly. I'm very much for returning to a more traditional courtship style: man takes the lead in the relationship, asks the woman out, brings up pursuing a deeper friendship/courtship in an acceptable time frame, and is intentional about discerning marriage. The woman responds graciously throughout the process and never leads him on.

I honestly think people simply don't know how to interact anymore in general. We know the professional/career dance and how to position ourselves for maximum success in that area, but we are out of touch with the more relational aspect of life. This seems magnified in Christian dating for some reason LOL.

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-720746 said: Now dating is all about marketing yourself. Put up pictures of yourself doing what you enjoy doing. Make ...
(Quote) Mary-720746 said: Now dating is all about marketing yourself. Put up pictures of yourself doing what you enjoy doing. Make sure the pictures are of high quality. Take a temperament test.Make up interview questions. Answer the profile questions. I know it's my age. . .
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It's not just you or your age Mary! I'm 32 and feel the same way. Online dating is just odd--not to disparage it because I personally know success stories but it just goes against my personality and makes me feel somewhat "exposed." It just takes some of the mystery away. Or, maybe it's just me eyebrow

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-384374 said: In the 18th C, there was the whole language of the fan (myhandfan.com which is ...
(Quote) Elizabeth-384374 said: In the 18th C, there was the whole language of the fan (myhandfan.com which is sort of like text messaging before there was text messaging.
--hide--

PS, I picked up a pretty fan trimmed in lace in Milan last summer for 1 euro (fans seemed to be very common in many of the churches in Europe that I visited). Maybe I need to learn these signals? laughing

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Claudine-882177 said: It's not just you or your age Mary! I'm 32 and feel the same way. Online ...
(Quote) Claudine-882177 said:


It's not just you or your age Mary! I'm 32 and feel the same way. Online dating is just odd--not to disparage it because I personally know success stories but it just goes against my personality and makes me feel somewhat "exposed." It just takes some of the mystery away. Or, maybe it's just me

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I agree with you and Mary. It's NOT just you. In this age where I am told to be cautious on-line, it seems ironic to me that we are suppposed to market ourselves well. So, while in this on-line artificial construct, it has bothered me, at times, when I would take someone's temperment test (in reply to their initiation) only to never hear from them again, or worst still, be blocked by them. Yet, if someone behaves poorly at an initial on-line communication, it's better to discover that before you go any further. I do agree that I now have the ability to meet many more people through this more convenient forum. It's just not as easy as it used to be when you could invite someone out for coffee because they looked like someone you would like to get to know better. IMHO biggrin

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Claudine-882177 said: I agree with you to an extent (that things were never "uncomplicated" per s...
(Quote) Claudine-882177 said:

I agree with you to an extent (that things were never "uncomplicated" per se) however women were at a clear advantage back then compared to women today. Men were more intentional and the fact that easy sex wasn't a socially acceptable norm meant that people didn't date for 10 years while playing house. They got on with courtship and marriage! And I'm not for women taking advantage of men or treating them poorly. I'm very much for returning to a more traditional courtship style: man takes the lead in the relationship, asks the woman out, brings up pursuing a deeper friendship/courtship in an acceptable time frame, and is intentional about discerning marriage. The woman responds graciously throughout the process and never leads him on.

I honestly think people simply don't know how to interact anymore in general. We know the professional/career dance and how to position ourselves for maximum success in that area, but we are out of touch with the more relational aspect of life. This seems magnified in Christian dating for some reason LOL.

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Back when is my point. Women were hardly at an advantage in the 19th C when your parents told you whom you were to marry unless you were of the lower class - even then, it was more a match made between the parents than the children who would be involved. Once you were married, you had to deal with your husband's adultery or abuse (it's perfectly legal to beat your wife in public at this point oh, and in 1840, TN was trying to figure out if women even had souls) if you were unlucky.

As for living together for years playing house, you should read about the life of Saint Maragret of Cortona. Nothing is new under the sun.

Feb 19th 2013 new

I have to get a fan and learn the signals too. Humm a new tool ! Finally an objective lead !!

(Quote) Claudine-882177 said: PS, I picked up a pretty fan trimmed in lace in Milan last summer for 1 euro (fans se...
(Quote) Claudine-882177 said:

PS, I picked up a pretty fan trimmed in lace in Milan last summer for 1 euro (fans seemed to be very common in many of the churches in Europe that I visited). Maybe I need to learn these signals?

--hide--

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