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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Is there anyone here who was raised by a single parent?


I am interested in hearing from the child's perspective about the things the sole parent did well or badly.


Having raised my kids alone, I'm starting to wonder what kind of job I've done.... scratchchin

Feb 16th 2013 new

My dad died when I was 6, and my mom never remarried. So I was a definitely raised by a single parent (which was very unusual back then, and for my locale).

I guess I would say that what my mom did right was give us responsibilities, chores, that made us into very responsible people.

We were not coddled, we had to face the realities of our life without two parents right along with my mom. The only way a one parent household can run is with lots of order and "discipline" if you will.

But what I would say she did wrong is that she worked, and was so griefstricken about her own life, that she didn't really pay alot of attention to us as individual people...what we each needed in particular, who we were as little people, what our individual fears or concerns or needs were....

She was very wrapped up in the providing for us, the roof over our heads, etc. (and she did a great job of it), but I think for each of us, there were real lacks in the true expressions of love that we each needed in our own way.

She was often very exhausted and her response to us was often sort of indifference ("Mom...can we...." was met with "I don't care what you do" because she was so tired, or spent, or weary or sad, or whatever). So I would say be present to them, and actually care about what they do/say to you.

So, I would say look at your kids as individuals, not just a lot you have to provide for, and remember that while financially providing is important, it is not the only or even the most important thing.

Feb 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: My dad died when I was 6, and my mom never remarried. So I was a definitely raised by a single parent...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

My dad died when I was 6, and my mom never remarried. So I was a definitely raised by a single parent (which was very unusual back then, and for my locale).

I guess I would say that what my mom did right was give us responsibilities, chores, that made us into very responsible people.

We were not coddled, we had to face the realities of our life without two parents right along with my mom. The only way a one parent household can run is with lots of order and "discipline" if you will.

But what I would say she did wrong is that she worked, and was so griefstricken about her own life, that she didn't really pay alot of attention to us as individual people...what we each needed in particular, who we were as little people, what our individual fears or concerns or needs were....

She was very wrapped up in the providing for us, the roof over our heads, etc. (and she did a great job of it), but I think for each of us, there were real lacks in the true expressions of love that we each needed in our own way.

She was often very exhausted and her response to us was often sort of indifference ("Mom...can we...." was met with "I don't care what you do" because she was so tired, or spent, or weary or sad, or whatever). So I would say be present to them, and actually care about what they do/say to you.

So, I would say look at your kids as individuals, not just a lot you have to provide for, and remember that while financially providing is important, it is not the only or even the most important thing.

--hide--


Pat,

From what you described, you turned out to be a beautiful and wonderful lady totally devoted to the Lord who also happens to be highly educated. You should be proud under some very difficult circumstances how you turned out as an adult. I can't help but believe you mother did her level best to take over the role of both parents. Some of the best people I know come from the school of "hard knocks".

I know your criteria of wanting to start a potential relationship with a never married with no children. As someone over 50, you know that limits the pool considerably but with God, all things are possible.

God loves you and so do we in your CM family. I consider you to be a very important member in the forums. Keep up the great work.

I wish you well in your journey.


Blessings always, Praying hug rose

Leon

Feb 16th 2013 new

Thank you Leon, that is very kind of you to say!

Feb 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: Pat,From what you described, you turned out to be a beautiful and wonderful lady t...
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:



Pat,

From what you described, you turned out to be a beautiful and wonderful lady totally devoted to the Lord who also happens to be highly educated. You should be proud under some very difficult circumstances how you turned out as an adult. I can't help but believe you mother did her level best to take over the role of both parents. Some of the best people I know come from the school of "hard knocks".

I know your criteria of wanting to start a potential relationship with a never married with no children. As someone over 50, you know that limits the pool considerably but with God, all things are possible.

God loves you and so do we in your CM family. I consider you to be a very important member in the forums. Keep up the great work.

I wish you well in your journey.


Blessings always,

Leon

--hide--


You are so right Leon, having met Pat in person can I just say she's all that & more besides: good fun, great conversationalist & lovely sparkly eyes with a smile that lights up the room biggrin I mostly only lurk, but I'm regularly inspired by the things she, you & others write in the fora ~thank you!


Sorry Marge, back to your thread topic...

Feb 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Clare-762632 said: (Quote) Leon-593843 said: Pat,From what you described, you...
(Quote) Clare-762632 said:

Quote:
Leon-593843 said:



Pat,

From what you described, you turned out to be a beautiful and wonderful lady totally devoted to the Lord who also happens to be highly educated. You should be proud under some very difficult circumstances how you turned out as an adult. I can't help but believe you mother did her level best to take over the role of both parents. Some of the best people I know come from the school of "hard knocks".

I know your criteria of wanting to start a potential relationship with a never married with no children. As someone over 50, you know that limits the pool considerably but with God, all things are possible.

God loves you and so do we in your CM family. I consider you to be a very important member in the forums. Keep up the great work.

I wish you well in your journey.


Blessings always,

Leon



You are so right Leon, having met Pat in person can I just say she's all that & more besides: good fun, great conversationalist & lovely sparkly eyes with a smile that lights up the room I mostly only lurk, but I'm regularly inspired by the things she, you & others write in the fora ~thank you!


Sorry Marge, back to your thread topic...

--hide--


Clare,

I have no doubt what you say is true. I feel that in her profile and postings. Pat has always been a bright shining light no matter the topic.

Now, I request you do the same and make your presence felt far more frequently. We would love to have you.

Blessings, Praying hug rose

Leon

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