the problem with ONLY WOMEN discussing modesty is that women see other women differently, true modesty is measured by the opposite sex.
I do agree that people often don't consider the perspective of the other gender, and that can be a problem. Getting input from the opposite gender regarding how they perceive certain things can be helpful. But I'm not sure what is meant by "true modesty is measured by the opposite sex."
The goal of modesty isn't just for the sake of the other (helping the opposite sex). www.youtube.com This video points this out very nicely especially starting at 2:11 Modesty is ultimately about preserving the dignity of the person who practices it, preserving the truth of who we are (not just our bodies) and Whose we are. In the video she quotes Blessed John Paul II from Love and Responsibility: "First and foremost modesty is good for the woman herself".