Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

I'm giving this site another shot after trying (at last count) 6-7 other dating sites over the past few years. I originally signed up two or three years ago, but after "chatting" with guys for weeks on end none of them ever asked me out, so I wound up canceling my subscription. This time around it seems even worse; I've only been in contact with one guy and he IMs, rather than messages me, which I have a harder time with personally since I am up and around a lot. I've sent emoticons/short messages to several other guys with no response.


I mean, I'm fully aware it might just be me, but... I don't get it. Again, I've been on other sites, and even though I may not be in a relationship I at least got lots of dates and met some nice/interesting people. What's the deal? Has anyone else encountered this?

LOCKED
02/18/2013 new

There are hundreds of married coples who met on CM. Thousands more in relationships. Keep plugging away. Get active on the forums and in chat. Look beyond your immediate geographical area. Contact guys who interest you rather than waiting for them to reach out to you. There's nothing wrong with you. But online, you have to go the extra mile to make a match more likely to occur. This isn't a party or bar or other social setting. We must be more proactive. There are thousands of quality people on this site and I'm sure that your match is among them. Good luck. Don't lose heart.

LOCKED
02/18/2013 new


Thanks, David. I was getting a bit concerned as I've been going through the forums and seem to notice a lot of people who have been on the site for years and have "given up" on finding a match, but stay onboard for the Catholic community. Don't get me wrong, that's great, but that's not what I'm here for. So I appreciate your encouragement!

LOCKED
02/18/2013 new

(Quote) Moire-630682 said: I'm giving this site another shot after trying (at last count) 6-7 other dating sites over th...
(Quote) Moire-630682 said:

I'm giving this site another shot after trying (at last count) 6-7 other dating sites over the past few years. I originally signed up two or three years ago, but after "chatting" with guys for weeks on end none of them ever asked me out, so I wound up canceling my subscription. This time around it seems even worse; I've only been in contact with one guy and he IMs, rather than messages me, which I have a harder time with personally since I am up and around a lot. I've sent emoticons/short messages to several other guys with no response.


I mean, I'm fully aware it might just be me, but... I don't get it. Again, I've been on other sites, and even though I may not be in a relationship I at least got lots of dates and met some nice/interesting people. What's the deal? Has anyone else encountered this?

--hide--
I've read that there are a lot of couples who have met here. How the numbers reflect success rate is beyond me. Personally, I have not met anyone face to face from this site. I've gotten in contact with several, but what can I say? I still am here boggled Keep the faith. AS for me, I am just here for now until my subscription expires. The real world seems more like my environment rather than the cyberworld. But who knows, I might stumble upon my lady on the last day of my subscription.

LOCKED
02/18/2013 new

(Quote) Moire-630682 said: I'm giving this site another shot after trying (at last count) 6-7 other dating sites over th...
(Quote) Moire-630682 said:

I'm giving this site another shot after trying (at last count) 6-7 other dating sites over the past few years. I originally signed up two or three years ago, but after "chatting" with guys for weeks on end none of them ever asked me out, so I wound up canceling my subscription. This time around it seems even worse; I've only been in contact with one guy and he IMs, rather than messages me, which I have a harder time with personally since I am up and around a lot. I've sent emoticons/short messages to several other guys with no response.


I mean, I'm fully aware it might just be me, but... I don't get it. Again, I've been on other sites, and even though I may not be in a relationship I at least got lots of dates and met some nice/interesting people. What's the deal? Has anyone else encountered this?

--hide--


Not dating meet ups, but I have met lots and lots of friends from this site. I look at it this way. Maybe no love matches, and maybe the problem is that maybe I am more of a non-cyber dating kind of girln(don't know), or maybe the problem is that I am old and too athletic, but I am thankful for the friendships.

LOCKED
02/18/2013 new

(Quote) Moire-630682 said: I'm giving this site another shot after trying (at last count) 6-7 other dating sites over th...
(Quote) Moire-630682 said:

I'm giving this site another shot after trying (at last count) 6-7 other dating sites over the past few years. I originally signed up two or three years ago, but after "chatting" with guys for weeks on end none of them ever asked me out, so I wound up canceling my subscription. This time around it seems even worse; I've only been in contact with one guy and he IMs, rather than messages me, which I have a harder time with personally since I am up and around a lot. I've sent emoticons/short messages to several other guys with no response.


I mean, I'm fully aware it might just be me, but... I don't get it. Again, I've been on other sites, and even though I may not be in a relationship I at least got lots of dates and met some nice/interesting people. What's the deal? Has anyone else encountered this?

--hide--


It's not just you, Moire. I've sent out many messages lately, but haven't had ANY of the ladies respond. It does tend to get you down a little bit, but I do have two friends of mine (that I know IRL and have been friends with for years) that both found their wives on CM, so it does work.

I myself have been off-and-on the site for a few years and have met several ladies face-to-face. I ended up dating a couple of them, but unfortunately those relationships didn't work out in the long-term. Doesn't stop me from trying, though, to find the one God has chosen for me. smile

I would definitely encourage you to meet face-to-face (safely, of course) as soon as practical with someone you've been messaging or chatting with. You can find out so much more by meeting in person than you can find out online. Myself and the last lady that I met face-to-face with weren't compatible at all personality-wise, which I didn't get the full sense of until we actually met in person.

Don't get too discouraged if you don't hear back from a guy you send a message to. Many people have set up a profile but aren't paid members of the site, so they can't send you anything more than just a blank emotigram in response to your message. And they can't even read your message if they aren't paid members. That may be a large number of the guys that you've sent messages to that haven't responded.

Also, not everyone responds to your messages. I myself try to respond to every message I may get even though I may not be interested in the sender. However, there are a significant number of people who do not respond at all. Also, things can get busy for everyone on CM sometimes, so they might take a long time to get back to you because of that.

Or they might be taking a break from the site for one reason or another and haven't seen your message. That happened to me and one CM lady I ended up dating for a while. I had sent her a message, but she was taking a break from CM and never saw it (CM auto-archives old messages after several months). She ended up sending me a message after she rejoined the site, and we eventually met face-to-face.

I have noticed a bit of a change lately here at CM, though. It seems that not as many people are posting in the forums (some topics last on the first page of a particular forum without a new post for days longer than ever before), and I'm having trouble getting ANY responses to messages. I even can't seem to get more than 2 people interested in an area get together of CM members. I'm hoping that it's just a short-term slow-down caused by winter and that spring will bump up participation at CM.

Just give it some time and see what happens, Moire. After all, it only takes one.

God Bless,
Steve

LOCKED
02/18/2013 new

Heck YES. I've probably met 50 or more, and I count several CM guys/gals among my best friends.

Aunt Millie's tips:

1. Make the first contact. Many people are shy. Go ahead. Be the first one to send a message or emote. Be the first one to say, "Let's have lunch." Any man who freaks out because you ask first isn't worth knowing, IMHO...he's got ego issues.

2. Organize a lunch, picnic, dinner, or other get-together in your area and invite local CM people. It doesn't have to be a big affair like CM Chicago, etc.. The Boston group assembles at least twice a year for horseback riding and ice cream. The Cincinatti people have a monthly dinner night. Even if it's just you and two other ladies, you'll have fun.

3. If you see that another CMer is going to be in your town, offer to meet him/her for drinks or lunch -- or to serve as a tour guide. If you are travelling, let folks in that area know, and maybe they will host you. It's very comforting to arrive in a new place and already have an acquaintance there. (Note: One nice man from England travelled all over the States a few years ago and met with CM people in nearly every town he visited.)

4. Save your pennies up and attend one of the big events (like Chicago). They are lots of fun.

5. Keep posting in the forums. If people see how you think, you will not be a total stranger when you meet IRL. Likewise, if someone posts something you particularly like, send him/her a message and say so. Maybe that will get a conversation going.

6. Don't give up. There are all kinds of reasons someone may not respond: not a paid member, illness, job worries, another relationship, etc., etc.. But those things are not permanent. Some ladies have told me that their guys waited a full month before responding to her first contact -- but after that it went like wildfire. (Who knows why?)

7. Don't take things personally. We cannot be everyone's cup of tea. But maybe you will be the prize in the Cracker Jack box for some nice CM guy. wink


LOCKED
02/18/2013 new

Hello Moire. smile Yes, I have met in person some of my correspondents. I became good friends for a while with two of them. Although we lost touch overtime, I am genuinely happy to have met them in person and will always keep them in my prayers. Do not get too discouraged. You get a Gold Star! Praying You get a Gold Star!

LOCKED
02/18/2013 new

Steve alluded to this in his comment, above: Some people give up CM and FB for Lent. eyepopping I don't get that, myself, but it's not uncommon.

LOCKED
02/18/2013 new

(Quote) Steve-111719 said: I've sent out many messages lately, but haven't had ANY of the ladies respond.
(Quote) Steve-111719 said: I've sent out many messages lately, but haven't had ANY of the ladies respond.
--hide--



I have to laugh, Steve. The last time a CM guy posted that, I responded with, "That's because you didn't contact ME". As a result, we had a very lovely friendship that lasted about a year. (He was young enough to be my son, so it ended when he married someone his own age.)

LOCKED
Posts 1 - 10 of 200