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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Deal breakers, another take

Feb 18th 2013 new

I know this has been previously discussed. But in the last thread about deal breakers, a lot of what has been posted refer to deal breakers that can only discerned after getting to know the other person more. My question here refers to deal breakers that are "apparent and readily discernible from the written profile" as presented here. So, solely based on one's written profile, what are the deal breakers for you that will sufficiently make you say "sorry, but I think we are not a match" or maybe say NEXT! The more specific the responses, the better. And we are talking solely of those that one can appreciate from the written profile as presented.

Also, what are your thoughts about the person going into specifics as to why they think you're not a match? E.g. "I am sorry but I think we are not a match because ____________". Notwithstanding the emotion associated with rejection, I feel that I can deal with it better knowing what made the lady think we are not a match rather than be kept wondering why... but then again, that might just be me.

Thanks!

Feb 18th 2013 new

Hello Kahirup. smile A deal-breaker for me is when a man writes on his profile that he prefers his current living location and that he is not willing to move, since this is my case as well. It is obvious that he is an impossible match for me. knight-errant

Feb 18th 2013 new

Any reference, in his profile, to sex is an automatic "NEXT!" That's not what I'm here for, and it's a serious breach of manners.


Feb 18th 2013 new

I don't mind "We're not a match because..." IF and only IF what follows is not a lame excuse.

Valid reasons: I'm seeking only never-married. I'm seeking only Liberal thinkers. I'm seeking only women with no children at home. I'm seeking only within 2 hours drive because I care for an elderly parent.

Lame excuse: You live too far away (when I know he's talking to someone only 50 miles from me). You like jazz but I like country-western. I only eat raw foods.

The nice thing if they say why they think it's not a match is, it gives you the chance to rebut. ("Yeah, I've got a kid at home but he's moving out next summer.")

Feb 18th 2013 new

Hi! I'm basically a Noob here, but I guess as I guy, I don't have "dealbreakers" so much as I have "dealmakers." My reasoning is more like: I'm looking for really cool traits that resonate with my own interests instead of avoiding attributes that make me cringe on the inside. Is this just a guy thing?

Feb 18th 2013 new

Wow! awesome response!!! clap clap thumbsup
and such a positive way to look at dating.


I'm with you. I don't have dealbreakers, I have dealmakers!!!

(Quote) Scott-944532 said: Hi! I'm basically a Noob here, but I guess as I guy, I don't have "dealbreak...
(Quote) Scott-944532 said:

Hi! I'm basically a Noob here, but I guess as I guy, I don't have "dealbreakers" so much as I have "dealmakers." My reasoning is more like: I'm looking for really cool traits that resonate with my own interests instead of avoiding attributes that make me cringe on the inside. Is this just a guy thing?

--hide--

Feb 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Francine-132290 said: Hello Kahirup. A deal-breaker for me is when a man writes on his profile that he prefers his c...
(Quote) Francine-132290 said:

Hello Kahirup. A deal-breaker for me is when a man writes on his profile that he prefers his current living location and that he is not willing to move, since this is my case as well. It is obvious that he is an impossible match for me.

--hide--



Ditto on that one. I prefer my location and if a woman prefers hers, well, that is that.


The other 'deal killer' for me is when a lady says she is only interested in 7/7 men. I'm a 6/7 (contraception). So if she's willing to restrict herself in such a manner then why bother with an initial contact?

Feb 18th 2013 new

The only "dealbreakers" for me involve the seven faith questions. A long distance relationship is admittedly a challenge for me right now, but I don't consider that a dealbreaker.

Some things aren't dealbreakers on their own, but when viewed in a larger context with other attributes they often add up to one.

Feb 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Scott-944532 said: Hi! I'm basically a Noob here, but I guess as I guy, I don't have "dealbreakers"...
(Quote) Scott-944532 said:

Hi! I'm basically a Noob here, but I guess as I guy, I don't have "dealbreakers" so much as I have "dealmakers." My reasoning is more like: I'm looking for really cool traits that resonate with my own interests instead of avoiding attributes that make me cringe on the inside. Is this just a guy thing?

--hide--

I love that answer!! Since I am twice as old as Scott, one would think I was twice as smart. Apparently not. LOL

Great answer!

God Bless,

Will

Feb 18th 2013 new

I don't think it's a guy thing. I think it's a generational thing.

When we're young, we say, I want someone who likes to go dancing, reads Shakespeare, and can cook. When we are older, we are more content to accept that we can dance with someone else, read Shakespeare alone while the other person is immersed in DC comics, and and can do the cooking ourselves.

OTOH, your approach is certainly more optimistic.

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