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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Feb 20th 2013 new

Maybe you should consider yourself lucky that you never got to meet that guy. He sounds like real tool to me.

Personally, I don't think anyone has any business corresponding on a website like CatholicMatch unless their intention is to pursue a relationship that will potentially culminate in marriage. And by that I also mean that I don't just "shop around" by corresponding with dozens of people at the same time. The purpose of this exercise is to get to know someone well and take it from there ... which means (by definition) that: (1) you're serious about what you're doing, and (2) you're serious about meeting ONE person here, ultimately. If someone can't even bring himself to travel 20 minutes to meet you, then he wasn't serious in the first place.

I'll understand if anyone thinks I'm being harsh here, but that's the way I see it.

Feb 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Maria-155872 said: Hi to everyone...I do not know if I am overreacting so I thought I would pose this question to al...
(Quote) Maria-155872 said:

Hi to everyone...I do not know if I am overreacting so I thought I would pose this question to all of you. I was writing back and forth to a man for about one month/six weeks on an every other day timeline. The conversations were light hearted but full of details that I took to mean that this man wanted to get to know me better. Last week I asked if he were ready to perhaps have a phone discussion. He wrote back what was becoming his regular four paragraph email commenting on questions I had asked or things he wanted to know about my day, ect.... In the second paragraph he tells me that ong distance relationships do not work for him and why. He goes on to say he likes receiving my emails and knowing how I am or what I am up to. He hopes he did not say the wrong thing and thinks he did not(which I could only interpret to mean that he hopes I do not feel led on and that I should not)....now you must know that this man lives 20 MINUTES from me. How could I not feel led on? Twenty minutes is not long distance, is it? And this is a dating site so what is a person supposed to think when someone continues to correspond back and forth?

I have been on these sites a long time with varied success and now I feel very discouraged. Aren't we all here to meet a potential mate? And if not, shouldn't we be upfront and say we are looking for friends only? Honest feedback would be great. I am getting frustrated by all this.


Gratefully,


Maria

--hide--
Ok Let me git this straight? He only lives (about) 20 min's from you? (YOU GOT TO BE KIDDIN ME)! Where ilive 20 mins is nothing; laughing Maybe (just maybe he doesn't drive; or doesn't have a car? ( i don't know) anyway maybe ya can ask him to meet ya half way? If not move on thats it; at least ya tried; thats my two cents worth; Wish ya Luck Maria Mike "peace"!!

Feb 20th 2013 new
Maria, I think your feelings are very understandable and reasonable. This is a dating site and the response you're providing is neither logical or legitimate (on the surface). Keep your chin high, wish him the best and move on. Good Luck.
Feb 20th 2013 new

I understand how you intrepret by him writing daily that he was interested, that happened to me once, and he just stopped writing.


At least now you know that he is not interested romantically, and move on.


Do not be discouraged,if it's meant to be it will happen.


God bless.

Feb 20th 2013 new

Not harsh at all.


and from a gentleman's point of view well said , thank you.

Feb 20th 2013 new
Hi Maria - try not to feel too discouraged - whatever the fellow said, it seems to be an issue that he is dealing with - 20 minutes is definately not long distance - as others have said maybe he was looking for a penpal / not ready/ scared?.... either way not the right one for you - try not to take it too personal and keep being yourself
Feb 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Maria-155872 said: Hi to everyone...I do not know if I am overreacting so I thought I would pose this question to al...
(Quote) Maria-155872 said:

Hi to everyone...I do not know if I am overreacting so I thought I would pose this question to all of you. I was writing back and forth to a man for about one month/six weeks on an every other day timeline. The conversations were light hearted but full of details that I took to mean that this man wanted to get to know me better. Last week I asked if he were ready to perhaps have a phone discussion. He wrote back what was becoming his regular four paragraph email commenting on questions I had asked or things he wanted to know about my day, ect.... In the second paragraph he tells me that ong distance relationships do not work for him and why. He goes on to say he likes receiving my emails and knowing how I am or what I am up to. He hopes he did not say the wrong thing and thinks he did not(which I could only interpret to mean that he hopes I do not feel led on and that I should not)....now you must know that this man lives 20 MINUTES from me. How could I not feel led on? Twenty minutes is not long distance, is it? And this is a dating site so what is a person supposed to think when someone continues to correspond back and forth?

I have been on these sites a long time with varied success and now I feel very discouraged. Aren't we all here to meet a potential mate? And if not, shouldn't we be upfront and say we are looking for friends only? Honest feedback would be great. I am getting frustrated by all this.


Gratefully,


Maria

--hide--

HI Maria,

All I have are hugs hug . I don't understand how the online thing is supposed to work. I think it was perfectly acceptable to ask him for a phone conversation. And, even that is just more getting to know a person. And, I have to say the twenty minute drive being long distance is a rather odd definition. I am sorry you are hurt by this. Lauren

Feb 20th 2013 new

Hi Tom, I for one don't think you were being harsh, as a matter of fact you did an excellent job of expressing many of my sentiments exactly !

Well done ! and good luck with your search for a compatible, and forthright match. crossfingers Praying

God bless,

Sheila rose

Feb 20th 2013 new
(Quote) Maria-155872 said: Hi to everyone...I do not know if I am overreacting so I thought I would pose this question to all of you. I w...
(Quote) Maria-155872 said:

Hi to everyone...I do not know if I am overreacting so I thought I would pose this question to all of you. I was writing back and forth to a man for about one month/six weeks on an every other day timeline. The conversations were light hearted but full of details that I took to mean that this man wanted to get to know me better. Last week I asked if he were ready to perhaps have a phone discussion. He wrote back what was becoming his regular four paragraph email commenting on questions I had asked or things he wanted to know about my day, ect.... In the second paragraph he tells me that ong distance relationships do not work for him and why. He goes on to say he likes receiving my emails and knowing how I am or what I am up to. He hopes he did not say the wrong thing and thinks he did not(which I could only interpret to mean that he hopes I do not feel led on and that I should not)....now you must know that this man lives 20 MINUTES from me. How could I not feel led on? Twenty minutes is not long distance, is it? And this is a dating site so what is a person supposed to think when someone continues to correspond back and forth?

I have been on these sites a long time with varied success and now I feel very discouraged. Aren't we all here to meet a potential mate? And if not, shouldn't we be upfront and say we are looking for friends only? Honest feedback would be great. I am getting frustrated by all this.


Gratefully,


Maria

--hide--
I am sorry that you are going through this. It seems that if someone is interested enough to write every other day and ask you questions and respond to yours that they may be developing a real interest in you. That would follow some logic to me. I know that I have to tell myself though that no commitment has been made until it is spoken and agreed upon by both people. You were wise to ask the question and find out if the next step seemed feasible. Once you did that he told you as truthfully as he knew how that he enjoyed the exchange but that more didn't seem feasible. If that is his truth, then he did you a favor in letting you know now. Yes, it stings a bit to be rejected it is normal. He isn't worth brewing over if he isn't interested. that is the long short of it
Feb 20th 2013 new

This happens all the time Maria. I know it doesn't make you feel better but i have been on both sides.
People have human emotions and they change all the time. This man liked who you were and what you
represented. At some point it changed and there is nothing you can do about that. My emotions change
from day to day and sometimes that go against a person i have talked to. It could be another interest
or maybe just not feeling like having the relationship anymore. Its better that this happens now then
after you have gone to far. I have gone out with women where we both had a great time and talked for hours.
She changed after a few weeks and turned cold. Human emotions are very difficult to predict and that what
relationships are sometimes hard to sustain. The door will open again and you will move on.

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