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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Feb 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Carlos-942428 said: Hi Will. Many Blessings to you.Jason, each person is unique in their own way. If you lis...
(Quote) Carlos-942428 said:

Hi Will. Many Blessings to you.

Jason, each person is unique in their own way. If you listen to your inner spirit, you will find the answer. Here is a quick story:

One of my most treasured friends was named Ramon. He was born with downs syndrome. Neverthlessless, he showed the closest example of true man.

Interesting enough, everyone looked at him as disabled and lesser than others. He suffered great ridicule from others most of his life.

Here are some of his many strengths:

1. He devoted his life to care for his mother when she needed help the most;
2. He was showed true transparency in love and friendship;
3. He was faithful to the Father will all his heart and soul;
4. He would do anything to help others;
5. And, so many other strengths.

One day, they called me that Ramon suffered a heart attack. I went to see him in intensive care. While there, I began reading the bible in the readings when Jesus was crucified. For some unknown reason, with each word read, I would cry a fountain of tears. Ramon died the next day. It was my impression that the Angels were already there when I went to see Ramon. How amazing that the Angels made a special trip to guide him to his proper place in Heaven.

We have it all wrong Jason how we see/assess the true value of others. My recommendation to you would be to listen to your inner spirit.

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I am a Special Education teacher and have taught many students with Downs Syndrome. They are such a delight smile! Unfortunately our federal government ENCOURAGES aborting these beautiful people so that they will one day be "extinct". Praying Pray for the end of abortion Praying

Feb 24th 2013 new

I sure hope that these men that replied and said they would date someone with a disability aren't the same men that wouldn't date a "chunky woman" (from another thread) embarassed

Feb 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Joan-529855 said: I sure hope that these men that replied and said they would date someone with a disability aren...
(Quote) Joan-529855 said:

I sure hope that these men that replied and said they would date someone with a disability aren't the same men that wouldn't date a "chunky woman" (from another thread)

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I would date someone with a disability...but we have to be realistic about the type of disability.

It would be ridiculous for a person with a normal IQ to date someone with Downs. And it would be practically impossible

for 'most' people to date someone with aspbergers unless the aspbergers was so slight that the diagnosis would be questionable.

Feb 24th 2013 new

I have asperger's syndrome. They say its a form of mild autism but I'm just like everyone else. I have a job. I go to school. Still planning on graduating. I'm a short guy (5'0) but I have a good group of friends. If you knew me personally, you wouldn't think I have a disability. I'm shy at first but then I'm like every oher person who likes to have a good time.

Mar 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Jason-441235 said: I have asperger's syndrome. They say its a form of mild autism but I'm just like everyone...
(Quote) Jason-441235 said:

I have asperger's syndrome. They say its a form of mild autism but I'm just like everyone else. I have a job. I go to school. Still planning on graduating. I'm a short guy (5'0) but I have a good group of friends. If you knew me personally, you wouldn't think I have a disability. I'm shy at first but then I'm like every oher person who likes to have a good time.

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Jason,

I am so proud of your posts. You are an individual. While it is true there are certain things that define disabilities, every person is his/her own individual. As such, only you know what you are capable of accomplishing.

I am disappointed that there are posts that generalize populations. Again, while it is true certain characteristics exist, it does not mean some people do not experience less symptoms or are not able to overcome some behaviors.

I do understand those who have lived with someone and has been hurt by someone with emotional or other types of mental disabilities. It like anything that may affect a person negatively; it is hard or nearly impossible to move beyond. If I had a police officer in my family that treated people poorly, I may always view police officers negatively. In this case, my view is understandably clouded by my personal experience.

I am filled with joy that you have friendships, work, and go to school. As a mother of a child with a disability, it makes my heart warm to see your beautiful communication, smile and willingness to ask difficult questions.


Jeanine

Mar 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Joan-529855 said: As a Special Education teacher of students with Aspergers (HFA) and having been married to someone...
(Quote) Joan-529855 said:

As a Special Education teacher of students with Aspergers (HFA) and having been married to someone with Aspergers for 25 years, I would say most definitely I would not date someone with Aspergers. There are three very important characteristics of people in healthy relationships that must exist: 1) the ability to empathize 2) the ability to see someone else's perspective 3) the ability to reciprocate. Unfortunately individuals that suffer from Aspergers do not exhibit any of the above characterisics AT THE LEVEL that a healthy relationship requires. Would you date someone with an addiction? It is the same thing. Because of their addiction the addict is not able to exhibit any of the above characteristics. Unless you are codependent you would not want to put yourself in that situation. Another concern is that many people with Aspergers also suffer from addictions (obsessions/special interests at an unhealthy level) and/or manic depression (bipolar). I am also a member of the NAMI organization (National Association of the Mentally Ill) and attend their meetings. The life of a person who is related to someone with a mental illness is just as much of a living hell as the person suffering from the illness. Sorry to clump Asperger's in with mental illness, however I see the same types of behaviors in my Aspergers students as my ED (emotionally disabled) students. The behavioral goals are the same. BY THE GRACE OF GOD, AND ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD, can a family THRIVE (not just survive) when there is a family member with mental illness. Blessings to you.

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Oh Joan, I am certain you meant well. There is a lot about your post that is accurate, but a lot that is biased and based on your experience. Which is fine, if you put it as such. However, you are going to be viewed as very knowledgeable about the subject, since you teach these students. Please know that what you post may have a profound affect on any people who may have a mental disability or those who come in contact with a person that has a disability. Posting the factual information is fine, but it is only by the GRACE OF GOD that any of us are here. By His Grace, you have been given the ability and compassion to work with children and parents who desperately count on you. By His Grace, I have two incredible boys. One of my boys has disabilities and by the Grace of God, he is mine to cherish and to help grow. He has taught me so much. I know you were trying to think of others when you posted this, but I am going to assume you posted this on a tough day. I am blessed to know that the people work with my son push him and I to know there are no boundaries. I can't imagine what John thought when someone who is considered very knowledgeable on the subject, made a difference between the necessity of the Grace of God in a family with mental illness, versus a family without it.

Mar 23rd 2013 new
Yes, but it depends on what the disability is, and whether the disability would work out with me. As Donna wrote, disabilities come in many different forms, and they are not always readily noticeable, or noticeable at all. One could be disabled from doing only particular activities, but not others.

Some medical conditions may be even more difficult for others to deal with than a disability.
Mar 23rd 2013 new

Hi Jason,


I have a friend with Aspergers who is much older than me. He has this sarcastic sense of humor. He sees the world in a different, special way.
I love to get an email from him since he almost always makes me laugh. He is very good at what he does for work.
Yes, I would date sb with Aspergers, if it was not severe.
The great thing about you is: you actually have the security to be upfront about yourself.
Katka


Mar 23rd 2013 new

No,I would Never Rule them Out...I would Pray on it during Eucharistic Adoration and ask God's Will to act wisely!

Mar 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Tom-112790 said: I would date someone with a disability...but we have to be realistic about the type of ...
(Quote) Tom-112790 said:




I would date someone with a disability...but we have to be realistic about the type of disability.

It would be ridiculous for a person with a normal IQ to date someone with Downs. And it would be practically impossible

for 'most' people to date someone with aspbergers unless the aspbergers was so slight that the diagnosis would be questionable.

--hide--

I think "normal" IQ is a bit too vague. Someone who, say, has a "normal" IQ but other golbal delays (speech, etc) may be very happy with a down's sindrome person who is self-sufficient, holds a job, goes to college, drives, etc. Heck, someone with an above average IQ could fall in love with someone based on their courage, spirit and ability to love. Down's is a spectrum, like Autism....from almost non-existant mild on one end, to coma-like severe on the other.

Actually, I think that you are mistaken. Many people who have diagnosed even mild autism...or PDD NOS (Pervasive Development Disorder Not otherwise Specified) have worked to get their funny "habits" under control. Many appear as simply having poor social skills. For instance the character "Bones" on "Bones" is said to be modeled after an adult autistic.


As for myself, I would date someone who is deaf becuase I know sign language, but I would probably find difficulty dating someone who is blind or paraplegic as I'm full of energy and all over the place and can be hard to follow. I think I'd just make him miserable.

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