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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Mar 26th 2013 new

Jason, I really appreciate your courage to say this in an open forum. Aspergers is very common in my family. A number of my nephews and cousin's children have been diagnosed. I might have been diagnosed with it myself if they had known about it when I was young. I'd never rule out someone with Aspergers. It all depends on the person and how they handle their condition. For me learning about it was a great blessing because it helps me both to be patient with myself for being different from others and to be patient with other people. Everyone is different and everyone processes information differently. We all need others to be patient with us at times.

I agree with whoever it was that said everyone is disabled in some way. Maybe those of us with Aspergers lack the ability to be empathetic on an emotional level. Maybe we have trouble reading other people. But many people with Aspegers have compensating gifts. Like the ability to be straight forward about things and the ability to be logical about things. These are great gifts, provided that you are careful to use them to build other people up and not as weapons against other people.

Please do not be discouraged by negative things that other people have said about being in relationships with people with Aspergers. My Father showed many signs of having Aspergers syndrome. Sure there were things he did wrong that looking back now that I know about Aspergers, I can see were probably related to his neurological makeup. What parent hasn't done something wrong at times? The great thing about Dad was, you could always sit down and have a rational conversation with him, even if you were telling him he did some things wrong. He and my Mom were married for 49 years. She still speaks of him fondly, and she was never interested in dating around after he died. And I wouldn't trade him for any other Dad in the world. It all depends on the person and how they handle their disability.

I wish you all of the best in finding the right lady for you. God bless you.

Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Jason-441235 said: Lets say someone has aspergers or some other kind of disability, would you rule them out because ...
(Quote) Jason-441235 said:

Lets say someone has aspergers or some other kind of disability, would you rule them out because they have that?

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I hope not since I have MS.

Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Carlos-942428 said: Hi Will. Many Blessings to you.Jason, each person is unique in their own way. If you lis...
(Quote) Carlos-942428 said:

Hi Will. Many Blessings to you.

Jason, each person is unique in their own way. If you listen to your inner spirit, you will find the answer. Here is a quick story:

One of my most treasured friends was named Ramon. He was born with downs syndrome. Neverthlessless, he showed the closest example of true man.

Interesting enough, everyone looked at him as disabled and lesser than others. He suffered great ridicule from others most of his life.

Here are some of his many strengths:

1. He devoted his life to care for his mother when she needed help the most;
2. He was showed true transparency in love and friendship;
3. He was faithful to the Father will all his heart and soul;
4. He would do anything to help others;
5. And, so many other strengths.

One day, they called me that Ramon suffered a heart attack. I went to see him in intensive care. While there, I began reading the bible in the readings when Jesus was crucified. For some unknown reason, with each word read, I would cry a fountain of tears. Ramon died the next day. It was my impression that the Angels were already there when I went to see Ramon. How amazing that the Angels made a special trip to guide him to his proper place in Heaven.

We have it all wrong Jason how we see/assess the true value of others. My recommendation to you would be to listen to your inner spirit.

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Carlos -- thanks for sharing your story about Ramon. It's a glowing tribute to him and the many good qualities he had and was willing to share with others. Both of you were fortunate to have each other as friends. He is now enjoying everlasting peace, and you have some fond memories of an exceptional man. He would have been an exceptional husband as well. angel

Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Allen-311949 said: I hope not since I have MS.
(Quote) Allen-311949 said:

I hope not since I have MS.

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Putting the talk about disabilities aside, we want to take a moment to wish you a happy and blessed birthday, Allen. May you be blessed with many more!!! wave cookie Happy Birthday!

Apr 7th 2013 new
(Quote) Jason-441235 said: Lets say someone has aspergers or some other kind of disability, would you rule them out because they have that...
(Quote) Jason-441235 said:

Lets say someone has aspergers or some other kind of disability, would you rule them out because they have that?

--hide--


I think it really depends on the disability.

A simple physical disability is generally easy to deal with.

A more complex disability, e.g. diabetes or loss of a limb, is manageable with some training and proper care.

A VERY complex physical/medical condition may be beyond the capability of most individuals.

Then there are the mental illnesses, disorders, syndromes, and the like. Many have no cure or even an approved medication regimen. If the associated behaviors and other symptoms aren't in conformance with Catholic moral teachings, it would raise the issue of whether the afflicted can properly fulfill their role inside a marriage. For example, problematic symptoms and comorbidities include hypersexuality/promiscuity, delusions, sociopathy, coping lies, self-medication, addiction, eating disorders, extreme impulsivity, violence, suicide ideation/attempts, etc. Yet they may appear "normal" at first blush and may even hold a more-or-less steady job. If children will be or are currently in the picture, extreme caution is needed.
Apr 7th 2013 new

No, if I loved the person it wouldn't bother me..though I did date someone with Asperger's and I found it very hard to connect with him..he seemed to want to be by himself more than with me. That in the end bothered me too much, but it wasn't because I didn't care about him. I felt like he didn't care about me, and I needed more.

Apr 8th 2013 new

My husband had mobility issues when we got together and he was diabetic. Over the years, his diabetes worsened and he developed end stage renal failure. He was suppose to get one of my kidneys but a cadaver kidney came available 8 days before surgery and he took it. He spent the next 3 of 5 years getting up at 0300 every morning to take people to the hospital for their treatments as his way to give back some of what he was given (a 2nd chance). Over time, the kidney transplant cost him his legs (long story). By the time he passed away, both of his legs were amputated (one at a time)and I could not have loved him more.

Apr 13th 2013 new

I'm a nurse, so it probably wouldn't be a deal breaker. I may or may not have less scruples about it than the average person.

Apr 13th 2013 new
Physical disability? Yes. Mental like autism or asbergers? No. That would be too difficult in my opinion. Just the same if someone was bi-polar or schizophrenic.
Apr 13th 2013 new
(Quote) Frank-410833 said: Physical disability? Yes. Mental like autism or asbergers? No. That would be too difficult in my opinion. Just th...
(Quote) Frank-410833 said: Physical disability? Yes. Mental like autism or asbergers? No. That would be too difficult in my opinion. Just the same if someone was bi-polar or schizophrenic.
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When I worked for a battered womens organization there was a volunteer who worked there and I'd always be my hilarious self and make jokes but he'd never crack a smile or anything. Then one day someone said he had Asbergers and then I understood why he lacked personality and wasn't friendly.
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