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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Oct 16th 2013 new
Welcome Daniel. I was widowed very suddenly at the age of 25, when my husband who was 14 years older than me died of a massive heart attack. He died in my arms as I tried to save him. Out of respect to him and our marriage I didn't remove my wedding band or even entertain the idea of dating for a year. I used to ask God, and it sounds so cruel to say it, why didn't you give Jeff a diease so we could have our good byes, so he could tell me how to live life, maybe have a baby?? But seeing my brother lose his wife to lung cancer - never touched a cigarette - and leave behind a broken hearted 5 year old, made me realize that losing Jeff was horrible but losing him suddenly forced me to deal with it immediately.

I saw my brother begin to grieve when he found out his wife was terminal and watched him tell their daughter that mommy was going to Heaven to be with Jesus. My brother is one of the strongest men I know. His wife died on Jan 12, 2009. He remarried this past January and seems happy, so I am happy for him. I just hope his wife loves my niece the way she deserves to be loved.

I myself dated a soldier 3 years after my husband died and almost married him. Things didn't work out for us, perhaps God was looking out for me. We broke up, he moved to California after getting out of the army, met another woman, married her, rejoined the military and was killed in Iraq 6 weeks after getting there - 4 days after his 31st birthday. I was devastated when I found out. I thought somehow we'd find eachother and marry.

This past year I met a man while at work. I'm a nurse and he's a prison guard who was assigned to a prisoner i was taking care of. I took a chance and gave him my number when my shift ended. We dated ten months, I met his kids after just two months at his insistance because thigs were going so well, his family, he traveled to Ohio to meet my parents and siblings. Then mid June, two weeks after returning from Ohio the bottom fell out when instead of planning for a wedding, we'd talked about marriage so many times over the past few months, he broke up with me. Telling me he never loved me as more than a friend. I asked him why he'd talked about marriage and a baby, things I've wanted since my husband died but never dared speak about it until I thought the relationship was solid. He was the one who had brought up those subjects time and time again. His response, "Because I knew that's what you wanted."

It's been 4 months since we broke up and deep in my heart I want to meet the one that God has in store for me, it obviously wasn't him. But, I am scared to let my guard down. This man, Joe, was the first man I let myself love completely since my husband.


I wish you luck and will pray for you. There is no right time to enter the dating world. I've been dating off and on for ten years. Feel free to message me if you ever need a friend to lend an ear. :) I will pray for you.


God has great things in store for you.
Oct 16th 2013 new
Welcome to CM Daniel and also welcome Lisa. I am so sorry to have to meet you, my fellow widow/widowers bcs. of our common losses, but it is what it is..... and we must make the best of what crosses we are given. I am sorry for your losses (all of you here).

I too have lost my husband. He had Multiple Sclerosis and was diagnosed with it after we were married for 10 years. Over the next 20 years he gradually lost more and more of his ability to function. The last 5 years of his life were spent at the VA hospital being cared for by some very good folks. I took care of him for many years and slowly grieved the eventual day that he would no longer be with me. He passed in Jan. 2011. Our two sons who are young men (18 & 21), miss their dad so much every day. I also struggled and still do. I struggle with the grief of never hearing his voice or laugh. Never feeling his touch. I also struggle with when it's right to move on to the next phase of my life... with if I should remarry (he wanted to set me up with someone before he passed!) SMH! And finally I have struggled with when to date. I have gone on several dates and was in a relationship for 6 months. The question of "replacing" my husband has come up. I know that there will never be anyone just like Char and I wouldn't want to replace him. I too talk a great deal about him. I once told a fellow that if you fall in love with me you will be falling in love with Char a bit, too! I know that sounds crazy on the surface, but it's a fact. I spent 2/3 of my life with Char and the love and experiences of loving that man have become part of me..... soooooo....do the math!

My point is that we are all individuals and made up of our personalities and experiences. We have come together here on CM seeking the same thing pretty much... to reach out to others for love and community. Many are looking for a mate, a match, the "one". some are looking for friendship and support. Whatever our reasons for being here, we come from a place of being Catholic and in need. I offer all of you my prayers and friendship. Any bit of guidance and support that I can lend to you will always be offered. We as a community here on CM have many riches to offer each other. Let us all gratefully give and receive those riches. God bless all of you! rosary hug
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