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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook. now weve been talking a lot and really like each other. theres some complications though that we haven't talked about. she wants me to come see her either next weekend or later when she doesn't have her 7 yr old son with her. she lives 8hrs away. has already expressed that she can't move because of the court she has to stay in the same county as the father. i from the beginning told her i cant move now because of certain reasons. well, im already liking her a lot and im concerned if i go down there to see her i will even like her more and if she likes me as much then the distant thing well become more of a problem. we haven't talked about religiion. shes not catholic im pretty certain. should have discussed this with her from the begginning because i was really non-negotionable on the catholic part and now im reallly liking her a lot. one other thing is i mentioned to her tonight since it hadn't came up. i told her whenever i come im plannin on gettin a hotel. and she said she would feel bad if i had to pay for one for 2 nights after driving that far. and that i could just stay in her sons room since he won't be there or sleep on the couch. i said ok. but im really thinking thats a bad idea. im wanting to follow the church's teaching on premartial sex. im afraid of being in her apartment alone with her and especially not really knowing her beliefs/morals and excatly and what shes willing to do. shes seesm such like a nice woman though,.. idk, what do yall think? i really have started to like her very much over the last 3 weeks or so and i fill she is feeling the same, but am i making a mistake here im thinking i am, i just hate to miss the chance of being in love and who knows finding my soulmate. idk, im so conflicted about it, any help here would be much appreciatted, thanks, God bless

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Joshua-137903 said: HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook....
(Quote) Joshua-137903 said:

HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook. now weve been talking a lot and really like each other. theres some complications though that we haven't talked about. she wants me to come see her either next weekend or later when she doesn't have her 7 yr old son with her. she lives 8hrs away. has already expressed that she can't move because of the court she has to stay in the same county as the father. i from the beginning told her i cant move now because of certain reasons. well, im already liking her a lot and im concerned if i go down there to see her i will even like her more and if she likes me as much then the distant thing well become more of a problem. we haven't talked about religiion. shes not catholic im pretty certain. should have discussed this with her from the begginning because i was really non-negotionable on the catholic part and now im reallly liking her a lot. one other thing is i mentioned to her tonight since it hadn't came up. i told her whenever i come im plannin on gettin a hotel. and she said she would feel bad if i had to pay for one for 2 nights after driving that far. and that i could just stay in her sons room since he won't be there or sleep on the couch. i said ok. but im really thinking thats a bad idea. im wanting to follow the church's teaching on premartial sex. im afraid of being in her apartment alone with her and especially not really knowing her beliefs/morals and excatly and what shes willing to do. shes seesm such like a nice woman though,.. idk, what do yall think? i really have started to like her very much over the last 3 weeks or so and i fill she is feeling the same, but am i making a mistake here im thinking i am, i just hate to miss the chance of being in love and who knows finding my soulmate. idk, im so conflicted about it, any help here would be much appreciatted, thanks, God bless

--hide--
Hey Josh: This is your first F2F? With this woman? And i'am assuming (guessin) she is divorced? Right? And due to court reasons or whatever she can't move a way; Ok Bro Do your self a favor; stay at a Hotel; A nice like a Best Western or something like that; Dont stay at her place; Until you get a little better aquainted with her; (F2F) that is; Also; tell her how you feel about your Faith; Go have coffee some where; then get to know her better; But find a place to stay I wish ya Luck bro; Keep us posted Mike "Peace"!!

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Joshua-137903 said: HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook....
(Quote) Joshua-137903 said:

HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook. now weve been talking a lot and really like each other. theres some complications though that we haven't talked about. she wants me to come see her either next weekend or later when she doesn't have her 7 yr old son with her. she lives 8hrs away. has already expressed that she can't move because of the court she has to stay in the same county as the father. i from the beginning told her i cant move now because of certain reasons. well, im already liking her a lot and im concerned if i go down there to see her i will even like her more and if she likes me as much then the distant thing well become more of a problem. we haven't talked about religiion. shes not catholic im pretty certain. should have discussed this with her from the begginning because i was really non-negotionable on the catholic part and now im reallly liking her a lot. one other thing is i mentioned to her tonight since it hadn't came up. i told her whenever i come im plannin on gettin a hotel. and she said she would feel bad if i had to pay for one for 2 nights after driving that far. and that i could just stay in her sons room since he won't be there or sleep on the couch. i said ok. but im really thinking thats a bad idea. im wanting to follow the church's teaching on premartial sex. im afraid of being in her apartment alone with her and especially not really knowing her beliefs/morals and excatly and what shes willing to do. shes seesm such like a nice woman though,.. idk, what do yall think? i really have started to like her very much over the last 3 weeks or so and i fill she is feeling the same, but am i making a mistake here im thinking i am, i just hate to miss the chance of being in love and who knows finding my soulmate. idk, im so conflicted about it, any help here would be much appreciatted, thanks, God bless

--hide--

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!!

It appears both of you are developing emotional feelings for each other despite the fact that (a) neither of you can move, and (b) she is divorced and presumably (until proven otherwise) not free to marry in the Church. The only good direction is for this to fizzle out, so why risk the chance of the feelings deepening and resulting in more frustration or heartbreak?

If you do go, do not stay with her. That would be a near occasion of sin, which is in itself a very grave sin. Your conscience is waving a red flag -- pay attention to it!

Feb 23rd 2013 new

Josh, I was gonna tell you to get a hotel but I'll tell you this instead. END THE RELATIONSHIP NOW. I know far to many men who have married women who are Not Catholic and now they are alone and bitter because their spouses didn't take their sacred vows as seriously as they did. This may seem like a harsh responce but it is the very sad truth and I would hate to see you go through the same.

www.fisheaters.com

You may want to read the mixed marriage section.

Wishing you the best and remembering you in my prayers.

Michelle

Feb 23rd 2013 new

PS. Jerry points are Very valid, especially "Your conscience is waving a red flag -- pay attention to it!"

You wouldn't be asking if it felt right to you, would you?

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Joshua-137903 said: HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook....
(Quote) Joshua-137903 said:

HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook. now weve been talking a lot and really like each other. theres some complications though that we haven't talked about. she wants me to come see her either next weekend or later when she doesn't have her 7 yr old son with her. she lives 8hrs away. has already expressed that she can't move because of the court she has to stay in the same county as the father. i from the beginning told her i cant move now because of certain reasons. well, im already liking her a lot and im concerned if i go down there to see her i will even like her more and if she likes me as much then the distant thing well become more of a problem. we haven't talked about religiion. shes not catholic im pretty certain. should have discussed this with her from the begginning because i was really non-negotionable on the catholic part and now im reallly liking her a lot. one other thing is i mentioned to her tonight since it hadn't came up. i told her whenever i come im plannin on gettin a hotel. and she said she would feel bad if i had to pay for one for 2 nights after driving that far. and that i could just stay in her sons room since he won't be there or sleep on the couch. i said ok. but im really thinking thats a bad idea. im wanting to follow the church's teaching on premartial sex. im afraid of being in her apartment alone with her and especially not really knowing her beliefs/morals and excatly and what shes willing to do. shes seesm such like a nice woman though,.. idk, what do yall think? i really have started to like her very much over the last 3 weeks or so and i fill she is feeling the same, but am i making a mistake here im thinking i am, i just hate to miss the chance of being in love and who knows finding my soulmate. idk, im so conflicted about it, any help here would be much appreciatted, thanks, God bless

--hide--
Having read thru your post, it is apparent that you already know what is the right thing to do in this situation. However, the problem is this: there is a big conflict between the right thing to do against what you seemingly want to do. The other posters have pointed out what you should do, based on faith and morals. The bigger question is "what are you going to do?" I will not tell you what you should do as I believe you are a mature and responsible man. Do what you have to do, just be ready for what follows next. I wish you all the best!

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!! It appears both of you are develo...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!!

It appears both of you are developing emotional feelings for each other despite the fact that (a) neither of you can move, and (b) she is divorced and presumably (until proven otherwise) not free to marry in the Church. The only good direction is for this to fizzle out, so why risk the chance of the feelings deepening and resulting in more frustration or heartbreak?

If you do go, do not stay with her. That would be a near occasion of sin, which is in itself a very grave sin. Your conscience is waving a red flag -- pay attention to it!

--hide--



Spoken like a true man to his Faith Jerry:) You said it best! I can agree with you sometimes wink

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: a near occasion of sin, is in itself a very grave sin.
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

a near occasion of sin, is in itself a very grave sin.

--hide--
Jerry, can you please explain this?

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Joshua-137903 said: HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook....
(Quote) Joshua-137903 said:

HI, im josh, lol...well, lets see, a woman that i knew when we were 10 looked me up on facebook. now weve been talking a lot and really like each other. theres some complications though that we haven't talked about. she wants me to come see her either next weekend or later when she doesn't have her 7 yr old son with her. she lives 8hrs away. has already expressed that she can't move because of the court she has to stay in the same county as the father. i from the beginning told her i cant move now because of certain reasons. well, im already liking her a lot and im concerned if i go down there to see her i will even like her more and if she likes me as much then the distant thing well become more of a problem. we haven't talked about religiion. shes not catholic im pretty certain. should have discussed this with her from the begginning because i was really non-negotionable on the catholic part and now im reallly liking her a lot. one other thing is i mentioned to her tonight since it hadn't came up. i told her whenever i come im plannin on gettin a hotel. and she said she would feel bad if i had to pay for one for 2 nights after driving that far. and that i could just stay in her sons room since he won't be there or sleep on the couch. i said ok. but im really thinking thats a bad idea. im wanting to follow the church's teaching on premartial sex. im afraid of being in her apartment alone with her and especially not really knowing her beliefs/morals and excatly and what shes willing to do. shes seesm such like a nice woman though,.. idk, what do yall think? i really have started to like her very much over the last 3 weeks or so and i fill she is feeling the same, but am i making a mistake here im thinking i am, i just hate to miss the chance of being in love and who knows finding my soulmate. idk, im so conflicted about it, any help here would be much appreciatted, thanks, God bless

--hide--



Joshua, I was in Artesia this past week and feel for you. EVERYTHING is hours away! I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon with the others who have said end communication without more information than what's provided here. But...and this is a big BUT... I find it hard for anyone to state they really like somone they haven't met. It's always more of a curiosity of trying to find out more about the person to see if you really like her once you meet F2F. That you haven't even discussed any faith topics should be an automatic red flag that you shouldn't even think about staying at someone's house given the feelings you currently have based on whatever 'other' topics you have discussed at this point. I'd start talking to her about her faith values and if she isn't Catholic, how she'd feel about a long-term relationship with a Catholic before you even head down there. Good Luck.

Feb 23rd 2013 new

Hi everyone!!! i must thank yall all for your responses and wise advice... i knew this would be a good place to find answers from good people! looks like i should not go....and possibly even stop talking to her....i myself feel sad and disappointed...and i feel bad if its going to upset her in anyway which im thinkin it will....not sure what im gonna say but i better bring this up tonight, not looking forward to it....hmmm.,...thanks again everyone so much...i was really confused but it seems yall all have the same opinion....ill update after i talk to her, thanks, God bless

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