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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Feb 24th 2013 new

A catholic online dating site adds another category to the list - Catholic. All dating sites are based on some degree on appearance. Not just weight and looks though. Are the photos all in a bathroom or are they in nature, having fun, etc... The other category most but not all sites have is personality. This site does that but it adds a third criteria.... being Catholic. This narrows the search down but also makes online dating harder but for the right reasons.

Looks matter in the beginning. There needs to be an attraction. I've also always found that when I work on myself and what could be better physically, emotionally or spiritually - I do better. I think being upset about the issue above keeps people away even more. I'll tell you what there have been girls I haven't been super attracted to physically that shocked me with confidence and self-content that made me want to be around them a whole lot more. Being healthy is important and I do want someone who will encourage me to eat healthy and live healthy in every other way. Nonetheless confidence and being driven also helps.


Has anyone here read the QBQ? It'd be a great read for this problem as well.

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Feb 24th 2013 new

I think you profile pic is beautiful! You look so pretty, love the glasses, hair style, don't a change a thing...and I am sorry you feel that way because I saw your pic and though she has awesome style. Honestly, I think we all have our questions and I won't even email, wink or make the first move because I think, "What if?" I think I should write a book about the "What ifs" we all think about ourselves and others. Just keep doing what you are because it is all process. If people only look for a certain "type" they are truly missing out on some of the best and funniest people. I posted I dated a guy who was in a wheelchair and a guy with Asbergers...I had two of the best dates ever! Take care, and keep posting those pretty pics and don't listen to men or women who say they want a thin or certain type of guy or girl. wave

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Feb 24th 2013 new
(Quote) Andrew-560653 said: Every man has their own attractions; some like tall women, some like short; some like bigger w...
(Quote) Andrew-560653 said:



Every man has their own attractions; some like tall women, some like short; some like bigger women some like think women. I personally prefer physically fit women.

--hide--


There's absolutely no difference between you and the other 95% or so of the superficial men that prioritize looks (thin, fit attractive etc, especially fit) over what really matters in choosing a spouse (character, spirituality, sincerity etc). Before you retort with garbage about how fitness (aka thin) is a sign of a woman who takes care of herself or is healthy, I must say beforehand that being overweight is not a sign that a person is unhealthy or doesn't take care of themself. Some people want everything- nice and thin and beautiful. They don't necessary go together. Everyone was made in the image of God. With that, people should think about how God would respond to suferficiality.
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Feb 24th 2013 new

I feel as if I am about to step into the proverbial mine field by posting in this thread, but I feel it necessary to mention that, in my experience, women, even good, faithful, Catholic women, can be the same way. However, if it is not due to a lack of physical attraction, it is because the man is not "successful enough," whether financially or career-wise.

I, of course, can only speak from my own experience and do not wish to generalize. I just do not believe it is fair to claim that only men are like this.

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Feb 24th 2013 new

whoa. I think your response to Andrew is a bit harsh.


I don't think it's superficial at all to be attracted to someone who is physically fit. I feel the same way. and for the record I am not model-thin. But I am fit and active. I like to walk, job, cycle, hike, spend time at the health club, etc. and I want a partner who can share in these activities with me.

and yes, of course, I also want my future spouse to be of good character, spiritual, sincere, etc. I'm looking for a man who will go to Mass with me on Sunday morning and then out for a run in the afternoon!


(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: (Quote) Andrew-560653 said: Every man has their own attractions; some like ta...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:
Quote:
Andrew-560653 said:

Every man has their own attractions; some like tall women, some like short; some like bigger women some like think women. I personally prefer physically fit women.




There's absolutely no difference between you and the other 95% or so of the superficial men that prioritize looks (thin, fit attractive etc, especially fit) over what really matters in choosing a spouse (character, spirituality, sincerity etc). Before you retort with garbage about how fitness (aka thin) is a sign of a woman who takes care of herself or is healthy, I must say beforehand that being overweight is not a sign that a person is unhealthy or doesn't take care of themself. Some people want everything- nice and thin and beautiful. They don't necessary go together. Everyone was made in the image of God. With that, people should think about how God would respond to suferficiality.
--hide--

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Feb 24th 2013 new

Being Catholic and of Good Charater are important but there is nothing wrong with being attracted physically. What if I enjoyed running, which I do and wanted to share that in a relationship? What if I enjoyed surfing, or extreme sports, or waterskiing and hiking crazy places across the world.. which I do, and wanted a partner in that... Nothing wrong with wanting that...

(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: There's absolutely no difference between you and the other 95% or so of the superficial ...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:

There's absolutely no difference between you and the other 95% or so of the superficial men that prioritize looks (thin, fit attractive etc, especially fit) over what really matters in choosing a spouse (character, spirituality, sincerity etc). Before you retort with garbage about how fitness (aka thin) is a sign of a woman who takes care of herself or is healthy, I must say beforehand that being overweight is not a sign that a person is unhealthy or doesn't take care of themself. Some people want everything- nice and thin and beautiful. They don't necessary go together. Everyone was made in the image of God. With that, people should think about how God would respond to suferficiality.
--hide--

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Feb 24th 2013 new
(Quote) David-622846 said: Being Catholic and of Good Charater are important but there is nothing wrong with being attracted physically. ...
(Quote) David-622846 said:

Being Catholic and of Good Charater are important but there is nothing wrong with being attracted physically. What if I enjoyed running, which I do and wanted to share that in a relationship? What if I enjoyed surfing, or extreme sports, or waterskiing and hiking crazy places across the world.. which I do, and wanted a partner in that... Nothing wrong with wanting that...

--hide--


Are you saying people who are not thin, aka fit (as you put it, but you know it really means thin), can not do all those things?
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Feb 24th 2013 new
(Quote) Debbie-168656 said: whoa. I think your response to Andrew is a bit harsh. I don't think it's superficial at...
(Quote) Debbie-168656 said:

whoa. I think your response to Andrew is a bit harsh.


I don't think it's superficial at all to be attracted to someone who is physically fit. I feel the same way. and for the record I am not model-thin. But I am fit and active. I like to walk, job, cycle, hike, spend time at the health club, etc. and I want a partner who can share in these activities with me.

and yes, of course, I also want my future spouse to be of good character, spiritual, sincere, etc. I'm looking for a man who will go to Mass with me on Sunday morning and then out for a run in the afternoon!


--hide--


I'm sorry you feel that my response to Andrew was harsh, but I feel it is superficial to judge someone based on their body type. When you've been on the other end of that discrimination, then you can come and tell me I'm wrong. Like I just said to Andrew, you don't have to be fit, aka thin (because we all know that's what fit means in the on line dating world), to enjoy all the physical activities you mentioned.
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Feb 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Juli-921214 said: TOTALLY, but respectfully, disagree with this. I am probaby heavier than women I...
(Quote) Juli-921214 said:

TOTALLY, but respectfully, disagree with this. I am probaby heavier than women I know, but I am by far one of the healthiest. Being thin does not equate to health. In fact, many of the thinner people I know survive on snack food or fad diet practices, and are moody and irritable because they are malnutritioned. I run 5Ks ... many of them can't walk 5 blocks. I find that I would rather put the effort in to being a decent and kind person than work on a false facade just to attract attention.

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I couldn't agree more with you, Juli! I too have done 4 or 5 5ks, training for a 10k, I lift weights on a regular basis (I lift more than some of the guys at the gym do too BTW), I swim laps, box, play softball in the summer..... I am HEALTHY by all accounts. My triglyceride level is 49; optimal is under 150. My overall cholesterol was like 150 last time we checked it. The only issue that I have is I have hypothyroidism and those of you who have it also know this makes it VERY hard to keep weight off and to lose it once you gain it. I am not a sedentary person either; I work 2 jobs, go to school, raise 2 active boys and we all have numerous activities. I have a friend in college who was 5'4, like 115 lbs, and she had high cholesterol, borderline high BP, didn't exercise, ate like crap.... just because someone is skinny and cute doesn't equate healthy by any means..... Id rather date someone who is healthy, active and a little bit heavier than someone who doesn't take care of themselves. Just my honest opinion.

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Feb 24th 2013 new

(Quote) David-622846 said: Being Catholic and of Good Charater are important but there is nothing wrong with being attracted...
(Quote) David-622846 said:

Being Catholic and of Good Charater are important but there is nothing wrong with being attracted physically. What if I enjoyed running, which I do and wanted to share that in a relationship? What if I enjoyed surfing, or extreme sports, or waterskiing and hiking crazy places across the world.. which I do, and wanted a partner in that... Nothing wrong with wanting that...

--hide--
Does everyone REALLY want someone who likes or does EVERYTHING they do? I personally think some "men" time and/or "women" time is essential in a relationship. Am I missing the boat here?

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