Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

03/27/2013 new

Hello everyone! I am back. I do not know if you recall my confusion about my priest telling me that an annulment process is initiated when I am in the works of remarrying. I spoke to him again today and told him it had been 4 years since my divorce and logging into and reading the forum of annulments, I expressed to him that I would like to start the process because I should not be dating. Especially after reading an article on Catholicmatch. He told me again that it was not necessary to begin the process unless I have someone in mind. And as far as dating, I could date as long as there is no intimacy. I was insistant and explained that my ex-husband has remarried, and why not go ahead and start. He said he would give my name and number to the annulment committee in the church so that they would get back with me. However, a case needs to be made in order for the annulment to go through. Can anyone tell me, why is he giving me a hard time? When I fill out my papers and explain what happened, isn't that when the decision is made? Is there any other way of filing without going through my church? My goodness, this is so frustrating. Please pray for me. I want to do the right thing.

03/27/2013 new
carmen, I believe that you can initiate the annulment process directly through the tribunal in your diocese. Why not just call the chancery office in your diocese and ask to speak to someone from the tribunal.. They are the experts on the annulment process and can give you guidance. For whatever reason, your parish priest appears to be hampering your efforts.
03/27/2013 new

(Quote) Jolynn-776398 said: I was married for 5 yrs. I was never married in the Catholic Church do I still need an annulment?
(Quote) Jolynn-776398 said: I was married for 5 yrs. I was never married in the Catholic Church do I still need an annulment?
--hide--

wave Jolynn,

If a Catholic is not married in the presence of a priest and has not received a dispensation from canonical form, then a lack of canonical form must be decreed. This is a much simpler and shorter process that you should discuss with your priest. I have a lack of canonical form decree from my marriage but my priest misplaced/lost the final decree rolling eyes

You are reminding me that I need to pursue this again with the diocese smile

03/27/2013 new

Thank you so much for your reply. I will check into that today.

03/27/2013 new

(Quote) Carmen-841680 said: Hello everyone! I am back. I do not know if you recall my confusion about my priest telling me t...
(Quote) Carmen-841680 said:

Hello everyone! I am back. I do not know if you recall my confusion about my priest telling me that an annulment process is initiated when I am in the works of remarrying. I spoke to him again today and told him it had been 4 years since my divorce and logging into and reading the forum of annulments, I expressed to him that I would like to start the process because I should not be dating. Especially after reading an article on Catholicmatch. He told me again that it was not necessary to begin the process unless I have someone in mind. And as far as dating, I could date as long as there is no intimacy. I was insistant and explained that my ex-husband has remarried, and why not go ahead and start. He said he would give my name and number to the annulment committee in the church so that they would get back with me. However, a case needs to be made in order for the annulment to go through. Can anyone tell me, why is he giving me a hard time? When I fill out my papers and explain what happened, isn't that when the decision is made? Is there any other way of filing without going through my church? My goodness, this is so frustrating. Please pray for me. I want to do the right thing.

--hide--


Carmen, PLEASE talk directly to your diocesan tribunal to get your facts straight! I'm not sure where exactly Fr. Hector Medina is right now--You can look him up on line (as I'm sorry to say, I haven't) but he is somewhere in Texas. He is a very pastoral priest who has the information you need to hear in regard to annulments. Your priest shouldn't be making this decision for you. I was a field advocate for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis for many years & have gone through an annulment myself. Also, there are some fact-filled books available that can answer your questions. I just don't have that list on hand at the moment. Sorry to not have exactly the right tools to offer you right now, but I can help you later if you like.



03/27/2013 new

(Quote) Will-706257 said: I am working on mine for a couple of reasons. 1) Healing 2) Peace of mind and discer...
(Quote) Will-706257 said:

I am working on mine for a couple of reasons.

1) Healing

2) Peace of mind and discernment

3) Just in case I do meet someone in the future.

--hide--


Will:


Very wise in all aspects!

03/27/2013 new

This information has been helpful. I am going to call my Diocese (Newark) tomorrow and try to find a new person to help me. I met with a parish priest a year ago and left in tears. I read the packet and when I asked questions or asked for helped in filling it out his reply was "just write your life story and they (tribunal) will read it and decide". He was very dismissive

03/27/2013 new
(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Im not sure anymore about annullments, my diocese called and said they cannot process it, despite h...
(Quote) Laura-857740 said:




Im not sure anymore about annullments, my diocese called and said they cannot process it, despite having witnesses write in, because I havent paid any money toward it. Said I cannot, trying to support myself and my child alone. Beginning to think its all about the money.

--hide--


What the @#$/? Contact your priest/advocate and ask him to intervene. That is just wrong to hold your annulment hostage. I understand that annulments are a money losing endeavor for the diocese, but give what you can whenever you can.
03/27/2013 new

I am about to break one of my cardinal rules on CM, which is not to get into any controvesies. We'll see how it goes. LOL

But, your priest's response is unique to say the least. Here's the deal.

You should continue to work on getting your annulment ahead of time so if you meet someone, you already have it behind you and you are "FREE" to start working on a healthy relationship and discernment process.

Regarding dating prior to getting the annulment. The priest is correct that you can date prior to getting the annulment as long as their is no intimacy. The catechism doesn't say anything about dating, only that you can't remarry without an annulment and you can't have sex out of marriage. These things are mortal sins. Now there are extremely valid theological (not to mention practical) reasons why people on CM highly recommend not dating until you get the annulment. But, it's not a mortal sin. So, if you run across Mr Right (as long as his first name isn't "Always"), you can date and start the process of discernment. But, you have to do that with eyes wide open, knowing that if your annulment is not granted, you'll have to pull plug on the relationship. That is a very tricky thing to do and it is one of the big practical reasons that people recommend not dating until you get the annulment. So, while you can date without an annulment, you need to think/pray long and hard before doing so.

I am not an expert on canon law, but the process as I know it usually starts with your parish priest or deacon recommending your case to the tribunal. Maybe you can go direct to the tribunal, but that's not the normal process. But, no way should the priest be a roadblock to submitting an annulment, unless he's talked to you about it, read all your paperwork, and in his heart of hearts doesn't believe there are grounds for the annulment. Then he would have an obligation to sit down with you in a pastoral manner and talk about what the issues are. That doesn't sound like your case. My advice would be (in addition to directly contact the tribunal) to continue to work with you parish priest and the annulment committee. As Catholics, we have to always remember to serve in a spirit of humility and obedience. But, if they aren't making a good faith effort to support you in this process, then I would go to another parish. This is close to denying someone the sacraments. But, continue to give your priest and parish the benefit of the doubt and work through the process locally established to see if you can get a good resolution.

God Bless and I will pray for your annulment. Please pray for mine as well. Will

03/27/2013 new

(Quote) Joanna-615441 said: What the @#$/? Contact your priest/advocate and ask him to intervene. That is just wrong to hol...
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said:

What the @#$/? Contact your priest/advocate and ask him to intervene. That is just wrong to hold your annulment hostage. I understand that annulments are a money losing endeavor for the diocese, but give what you can whenever you can.
--hide--

When I said the priest's response was unique, that is what I was thinking. LOL

Posts 51 - 60 of 81