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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Im not sure anymore about annullments, my diocese called and said they cannot process...
(Quote) Laura-857740 said:




Im not sure anymore about annullments, my diocese called and said they cannot process it, despite having witnesses write in, because I havent paid any money toward it. Said I cannot, trying to support myself and my child alone. Beginning to think its all about the money.

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It is definitely not 'all about the money'. It goes back to the sermon on the mount, Matthew 5, 31:32, Jesus says "But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery". The issue is that while the Church is Holy and trustworthy and perfect, She is administered by imperfect people. This is where our responsibilty to be humble and submit ourselves to the religious authorities placed above us becomes difficult. I guess I am lucky because our diocese offers waivers of the fee to needy people and works to help us, without watering down the process. Thank you Jesus. But, I'd go back to your parish priest, see what he thinks. They should be able to do something. As I said to the other lady, I will pray for your annulment and you please pray for mine.

Will

Mar 28th 2013 new

First of all, welcome back to the Church.

My experience with getting my annulment was not done immediately after my divorce--I think I started 2-3 years later. I needed that time to get some space from my divorce and start my process for personal growth. While some people are able to start the process immediately after (or before) their divorce is complete, the whole process of divorce and annullment is a journey in itself.

Someone once told me, it take one year of being single for every five years of marriage to truly heal. When you are in the middle of that time (either getting divorced or the time after the divorce) that seems crazy. Yet ten years now after my divorce finalized--I see the wisdom of that advice.

Annulments, on average, take about a year to eighteen months to complete, provided there are no additional issues which need to be resolved. If there are additional concerns, an annulment can take up to five years.

When I went through my process, I was surprised to learn that the annulment process is not about what happened WHILE you were married to your ex, but what was the situation BEFORE you were married in a sacramental marriage. If the church determines you and your ex were married in a sacramental marriage, your marriage may not be annulled. That is why extra-marital affairs are not a valid reason for annulment. However, that is where the questions and introspection can reveal and expose areas for personal growth, and resolve anger, shame, guilt and a myriad of the other emotions that comes with divorce. Sometimes, it may take a few months, or years, to complete this process. This is a process; a journey. There is no real timetable.

Finally, when you receive your annulment, you may realize through this process, you forgive the last person you think needs to be forgiven--yourself.

Mar 29th 2013 new

Thank you so much. Any help is good. I did find out who the case supporter is for the church, he is the deacon. I am awaiting his call. However, in the meantime, the more I know will not hurt. The tribunal for the Galveston-Houston Diocese directed me to the website, but it states that without a case supporter, I am not able to submit the petition forms. If I cannot get anywhere with my church, I will go to the other one here in town that I was a member of.

Mar 29th 2013 new
What if I truly cannot afford the processing fee?

If you truly are unable to pay the entire processing fee, the fee may be waived in part or in full, depending on your circumstances. You must submit a letter to the Metropolitan Tribunal indicating your inability to pay and the reason(s) why. No one is refused the services of the Church based upon an inability to pay. Be assured that your petition will receive the same consideration as any other.


***I found this in a "frequently asked questions" from the Archdiocese of Galveston-Houston (where I live). If this is available for us, perhaps you have something similiar in your diocese. Apparently, to submit the petition form, there is no fee. The fee is in the processing. Perhaps you could go online to your diocese website and follow the prompts for tribunal, then select annulment. That's how I found this information. Good Luck!

Mar 29th 2013 new

Carmen, were you married in the diocese where you now live? If I remember correctly, there may be a choice of where you file for annulment: either where you now live or where you were married. This may be a consideration.

Mar 29th 2013 new

Will, thank you so much for this information. I have decided to be very conservative about dating until the annulment is complete. I would dislike to fall for someone, just to have the annulment rejected. How awful would that be? You gave me peace in your words and will give my parish the benefit. Thank you again. My prayers are with you.

Mar 29th 2013 new

[quote]Carol-737878 said:

Carmen, were you married in the diocese where you now live? If I remember correctly, there may be a choice of where you file for annulment: either where you now live or where you were married. This may be a consideration.

Yes ma'am I was. My parish is the same one I was married in. With it being Holy Week, I thought I would give it a rest and resume my investigation on Monday. I am not a quiter. Thank you Carol for your responses.

Mar 29th 2013 new

(Quote) Carmen-841680 said: Will, thank you so much for this information. I have decided to be very conservative about datin...
(Quote) Carmen-841680 said:

Will, thank you so much for this information. I have decided to be very conservative about dating until the annulment is complete. I would dislike to fall for someone, just to have the annulment rejected. How awful would that be? You gave me peace in your words and will give my parish the benefit. Thank you again. My prayers are with you.

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Thanks for the prayers. Being very conservative is very often the best course of action.

Good Luck and God Bless,

Will

Mar 29th 2013 new

Here are 2 books which may be helpful to you in answering your questions:


Annulment by Rev. Ronald T. Smith


Annulment by Michael Smith Foster

Mar 29th 2013 new

Another book full of practical questions & answers:


Catholics, Marriage and Divorce by Victoria Vondenberger, R.S.M,.J.C.L (St. Anthony Messenger Press)

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