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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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02/25/2013 new

And another thing....

You've "been approached". Wot do dat mean? boggled

Maybe he's on leave from his job and at lose ends until it's sorted out and just wants someone to have coffee with a couple of times a week and maybe go to the movies. Companionship is important, and may be all he wants.

02/25/2013 new

I suppose it is not age difference per say but whether you have something in common, whether he is kind, has some of the same interests and if you are attracted to him. For me 20 years is too much of a difference. Ten years is also a lot. However, having said that I guess you have to be open and it is really who the person is that is the most important.

02/25/2013 new

What I mean by being approached? He made a significant effort from two rows back a couple of weeks during the sign of peace during Mass. I thought it was a bit odd but went on none the less. After Mass, he came up and introduced himself while I as talking with a girlfriend and asked if I attended that church because he had never seen me before. I returned to chatting with a new friend that I have met who is in RCIA classes. When I came to Mass on Saturday night, my friend told me that he had approched her at 5:30 Mass on Friday night asking about me. I had told her that I was not really interested in starting a relationship for several reasons but mostly because I cannot get married in the church. He came strolling down the center aisle --- stopped at my pew and just looked at me. (I think he wanted me to ask him to sit with me). I said hi and asked how his week was. Eventually, he moved on down the aisle. During the sign of peace, he walks up to my pew and shakes my hand. After Mass, he hands me his business card and asks me if I would like to go have a bite to eat. I told him that I had promised a girlfriend that I would go out with her to celebrate starting a new job. He then asked if we could go out next Saturday. I didn't really respond. But, his business card had his email address on it and I contacted via email and told him that I would not be able to go to dinner with him next Saturday because it was the Cathedral's 25th Anniversary and I was on the committee. I also told him in the email:


"I want to thank you for extending your kindness to me. After all I have been through, I guess I am not truly ready for a relationship but am willing to extend my friendship to all. I have many things in my heart that I want to do and I feel like God's hand is with me and in it."


So.....that is the story. My friend googled him and that is when I found out that he was a Deacon, and much older than I because he was in the archives of the church. Sorry for being so long....but that is the story.



02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Laurel-904204 said: What I mean by being approached? He made a significant effort from two rows back a couple of wee...
(Quote) Laurel-904204 said:

What I mean by being approached? He made a significant effort from two rows back a couple of weeks during the sign of peace during Mass. I thought it was a bit odd but went on none the less. After Mass, he came up and introduced himself while I as talking with a girlfriend and asked if I attended that church because he had never seen me before. I returned to chatting with a new friend that I have met who is in RCIA classes. When I came to Mass on Saturday night, my friend told me that he had approched her at 5:30 Mass on Friday night asking about me. I had told her that I was not really interested in starting a relationship for several reasons but mostly because I cannot get married in the church. He came strolling down the center aisle --- stopped at my pew and just looked at me. (I think he wanted me to ask him to sit with me). I said hi and asked how his week was. Eventually, he moved on down the aisle. During the sign of peace, he walks up to my pew and shakes my hand. After Mass, he hands me his business card and asks me if I would like to go have a bite to eat. I told him that I had promised a girlfriend that I would go out with her to celebrate starting a new job. He then asked if we could go out next Saturday. I didn't really respond. But, his business card had his email address on it and I contacted via email and told him that I would not be able to go to dinner with him next Saturday because it was the Cathedral's 25th Anniversary and I was on the committee. I also told him in the email:


"I want to thank you for extending your kindness to me. After all I have been through, I guess I am not truly ready for a relationship but am willing to extend my friendship to all. I have many things in my heart that I want to do and I feel like God's hand is with me and in it."


So.....that is the story. My friend googled him and that is when I found out that he was a Deacon, and much older than I because he was in the archives of the church. Sorry for being so long....but that is the story.



--hide--
I've noticed several guys here on CM who are looking to somehow extend (or regain) their youth by marrying a woman 10 or 20 years younger. It seems these guys are oblivious to appearances and don't realize how foolish they appear. Not saying they're 'DOM,' but they aren't very realistic.

02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Peter-449116 said: I've noticed several guys here on CM who are looking to somehow extend (or regain) their yout...
(Quote) Peter-449116 said:

I've noticed several guys here on CM who are looking to somehow extend (or regain) their youth by marrying a woman 10 or 20 years younger. It seems these guys are oblivious to appearances and don't realize how foolish they appear. Not saying they're 'DOM,' but they aren't very realistic.

--hide--


LOL, Peter, this is hilarious wink. I needed this today. Now I am afraid to ask what 'DOM' stands for; please don't say it is "dominate" (as opposed to "submissive").

02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Laurel-904204 said: What I mean by being approached? He made a significant effort from two rows back a couple of wee...
(Quote) Laurel-904204 said:

What I mean by being approached? He made a significant effort from two rows back a couple of weeks during the sign of peace during Mass. I thought it was a bit odd but went on none the less. After Mass, he came up and introduced himself while I as talking with a girlfriend and asked if I attended that church because he had never seen me before. I returned to chatting with a new friend that I have met who is in RCIA classes. When I came to Mass on Saturday night, my friend told me that he had approched her at 5:30 Mass on Friday night asking about me. I had told her that I was not really interested in starting a relationship for several reasons but mostly because I cannot get married in the church. He came strolling down the center aisle --- stopped at my pew and just looked at me. (I think he wanted me to ask him to sit with me). I said hi and asked how his week was. Eventually, he moved on down the aisle. During the sign of peace, he walks up to my pew and shakes my hand. After Mass, he hands me his business card and asks me if I would like to go have a bite to eat. I told him that I had promised a girlfriend that I would go out with her to celebrate starting a new job. He then asked if we could go out next Saturday. I didn't really respond. But, his business card had his email address on it and I contacted via email and told him that I would not be able to go to dinner with him next Saturday because it was the Cathedral's 25th Anniversary and I was on the committee. I also told him in the email:


"I want to thank you for extending your kindness to me. After all I have been through, I guess I am not truly ready for a relationship but am willing to extend my friendship to all. I have many things in my heart that I want to do and I feel like God's hand is with me and in it."


So.....that is the story. My friend googled him and that is when I found out that he was a Deacon, and much older than I because he was in the archives of the church. Sorry for being so long....but that is the story.



--hide--


An "older" Deacon who is trying to get together with a divorced, non-annulled younger female. eyepopping Sounds a little eyebrow embarassed.

02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Peter-449116 said: I've noticed several guys here on CM who are looking to somehow extend (or regain) their yout...
(Quote) Peter-449116 said:

I've noticed several guys here on CM who are looking to somehow extend (or regain) their youth by marrying a woman 10 or 20 years younger. It seems these guys are oblivious to appearances and don't realize how foolish they appear. Not saying they're 'DOM,' but they aren't very realistic.

--hide--
laughing laughing laughing It is not just on CM -- it is everywhere!

02/25/2013 new
Peter your honesty is refreshing
02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Laurel-904204 said: Donna, he did explain it to me. And it is legitimate. That does not change his age!
(Quote) Laurel-904204 said:

Donna, he did explain it to me. And it is legitimate. That does not change his age!

--hide--

He may legitimately be on administrative leave. Nevertheless, as an ordained deacon he is not free to date much less marry. The Latin Church does ordain married men as deacons, but under no circumstance may he remarry if his wife dies.

In the Catholic Eastern rites, married man can be ordained priests but they can never be ordained as a Bishop. If a man were single when he was ordained, he may not marry after ordination.

In those cases where the Latin rite has ordained married man, they are not free to remarry upon the death of the spouse.

Now if your friend had obtained a complete dispensation from his vows (not a mere administrative leave), he might be free to date and marry.

Time to tell him goodbye.

As to the age question: face it, that is a personal thing. It all depends on how two people fit. Over time, the importance of age changes.

02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Paul-866591 said: He may legitimately be on administrative leave. Nevertheless, as an ordained deacon he is...
(Quote) Paul-866591 said:

He may legitimately be on administrative leave. Nevertheless, as an ordained deacon he is not free to date much less marry. The Latin Church does ordain married men as deacons, but under no circumstance may he remarry if his wife dies.

In the Catholic Eastern rites, married man can be ordained priests but they can never be ordained as a Bishop. If a man were single when he was ordained, he may not marry after ordination.

In those cases where the Latin rite has ordained married man, they are not free to remarry upon the death of the spouse.

Now if your friend had obtained a complete dispensation from his vows (not a mere administrative leave), he might be free to date and marry.

Time to tell him goodbye.

As to the age question: face it, that is a personal thing. It all depends on how two people fit. Over time, the importance of age changes.

--hide--


Thank you Paul for explaining that to me. As I have said many times, I am just returning to the Catholic faith after a 30 year absence. I have so much to learn and so much to relearn. Dove

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