Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

02/26/2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: For the remainder of this response, I use the term 'divorced' to refer only t...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

For the remainder of this response, I use the term 'divorced' to refer only to anyone who has obtained a civil divorce or annulment of marriage who has not obtained a decree of nullity from A catholic marriage tribunal and whose ex-spuse is still alive.

The CM owners have made it clear for as long as I have been on the site (almost 9 years) that it is not intended to be strictly a dating site. The site has a variety of features that are conducive to platonic fellowship and faith development that don't' involve participating in the matching/dating functions.

It is not uncommon for members to come to accept teachings of the Church as a result of their interactions with other CM members, either one-on-one or through the forums.

Discussing the morality of dating by those who are divorced is complicated by the fact that the term 'dating' has a wide range of meanings, from very casual and strictly platonic to romantic. If one is not careful to limit the term somewhat precisely, the discussion is almost guaranteed to be derailed in rather short order by those more intent on justifying their own behavior or beliefs than on understanding Church teachings.

Finally, it is important to realize that the answers to the seven faith questions do not accurately reflect the person's beliefs a fair amount of the time. Some don't understand the Church's teachings. Some intentionally answer Yes on points they do not accept because it is the politically correct answer. Some answer No for beliefs they do accept because they feel to do otherwise will mislead others about their past behavior. (Yes, I know this is not what the questions ask; however, over the years many people have reported having answered this way.)

--hide--

+

Jerry I just had an idea for what some form of CM educational service on Church teachings might look like. When someone is answering their profile questions and it comes to the 7 Faith Questions, there would be a link provided by each question that someone could click on to find out "What the Church Teaches and Why". What do you think?

02/26/2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: Education, education, education! Nag our priests and clergy, and support and pray for them...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

Education, education, education!

Nag our priests and clergy, and support and pray for them to give the hard homilies. I'm sick of hearing about how its responsible stewardship to use energy efficient light bulbs, where's the homilies on marriage? On why contraception is a grave sin? Where's the public scoulding and excommunication of politicans and public catholics who make it very obvious they don't agree with the Church while still taking communion on Sunday?

Are we supporting and encouraging teachers in our Catholic schools to teach the Faith, not what Buddhist architecture looks like?

Are we Sunday Catholics where our Faith is a hobby kept private from the secular world? Do we stand up for the unborn, for marriage, for the dignity of the human person in our work places and amongst our friends when people start supporting "gay marriage" and abortion?

There's lots we can do. Over the last 2000 years there have been Catholics who have made the ultimate witness to the faith, being killed for Jesus. HOw the heck can we not be doing more? What are we endanger of? Creating a bit of social awkwardness? Seesh.

Making people uncomfortable with Catholic and Pro-Life posts on FB, really, how does that hurt us?

Catholics, put on your big kid pants and start living the faith, start vocalising it, stop being a pack of wussies. Frankly, I see people justifying their sin by pointing to paedophile priests and really, it says more about them and their understanding of the faith then it does about those child raping pigs.

--hide--
I agree wholeheartedly with you Naomi and would like to add that beside the need of teaching by our priests, we need to take responsibility of our own teaching too. Turn off the TV now and then and start spending more time reading and learning what our church has to say.

02/26/2013 new

(Quote) Jan-672216 said: Every now and then I see a post by one person or another that commen...
(Quote) Jan-672216 said:

Every now and then I see a post by one person or another that comments rather incredulously that people who are not in agreement with 7 listed Faith Questions still are allowed to participate on a "Catholic" dating site.

Would CM truly be more helpful to the Catholic Church on a whole if people who are not willing to accept the 7 Church Teachings listed, especially, in the light of the current sexual scandals rocking the Church, the teaching on no sex outside of marriage, the teaching on contraception, and the understanding that a Catholic, once married and divorced, is not free to even date until, or if, an annulment has been obtained? What do you think?

--hide--


Jesus never instructed us to put up a "Keep Out" sign on the church door or in any fellowship or community such as this. The religious skunks of his day criticized Jesus for eating and drinkers with publicans and tax collectors. But he made himself availale to those who most needed his love and truth. The longer people stay on CM, the more likely they are to come to accept Catholic teachings on sexual m,orality. many lives have been changed by the discussions on these forums. Someone who's obviously provacative and intends to disrupt or disparage the faith should be dealt with, but otherwise, why bar people who may receive a greta benefit by being here?


We've been over these 7 quesions a zillion times before. it's an endless circular discussion that brings out the worst in many. The questions are imperfect. They are a starting point, not "game over". "Accept" and "follow" are two very different things: I've met 4/7's who live much holier lives than some 7/7's. Keep that in mind.


scratchchin


As for the scandals, we will always have these. We're not living in an age of moral decline - instead we live in a media-saturated age. This means that sex scandals get reported rather than buried. IMO, this is a good thing. Sunlight and fresh air are the best disinfectants. The Church's scandals are best dealt with out in the open rather than being hushed up. We see where hushing things up got us. It caused even greater and continuing harm.


What do we, as faithful Catholics do? We pray. We love. We live right. We do not scold. We do not judge. We do not get discouraged. We examine our own consciences to see how we fall (far) short of the life God wants us to live. If we do not sin against chastity (as often or badly as others), we may still sin greatly through pride, self-righteosness, lack of charity or empathy for others, ignoring our interior life, glutony, sloth, anger, envy, or sitting through Mass thinking badly of others around us.


The only thing we can do is to be holy and faithful. God will take care of the rest.





02/26/2013 new

You got it.

I've encountered dozens of 7/7s who could quote chapter and verse from the Bible and the CCC, but who had not an ounce of charity in their hearts. Phooey on that!

Yes, each of us would love to meet and marry a saint. But ultimately, the state of one's soul is one's own business.

I'm happy to meet anyone. Maybe I will learn something from them, and maybe they will learn something from me.

02/26/2013 new

(Quote) Jan-672216 said: + Hi Jerry - thank you for the info. Since it is titled "Catholic Match" ...
(Quote) Jan-672216 said:

+

Hi Jerry - thank you for the info. Since it is titled "Catholic Match" I assumed it was strictly for meeting Catholic folks who are looking for a possible spouse. And I didn't know people who are divorced without an annulment cannot use the Match feature.

However, I would still like to see CM tighten up the area of faithfulness to the teachings of the Church as I know there are folks who do use the match feature / look for romantice friendships who are in disagreement with the teachings of the Church - perhpas because they don't fully understand why the Church teaches what she teaches. In that case I suppose one could make the argument that mixing with Catholics who are faithful might be of assistance to all concerned.

--hide--

Remember that the Catholic Church is for the sinners, not those who are perfect. By excluding those who are imperfect, you lose the opportunity for conversion.

Also consider that CM really has no way to determine, other than by self-revelation, what a member's faith is. If you require 7/7, people will answer the questions 7/7.in order to get in, just as some do today to appear to avoid the stigma of not being 7/7.

I think Naomu has a much better suggestion -- educate those who need it (i.e., all of us) and allow individual members to use their discretion and discernment of God's will toguide their personal behavior.

02/26/2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Jesus never instructed us to put up a "K...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


Jesus never instructed us to put up a "Keep Out" sign on the church door or in any fellowship or community such as this. The religious skunks of his day criticized Jesus for eating and drinkers with publicans and tax collectors. But he made himself availale to those who most needed his love and truth. The longer people stay on CM, the more likely they are to come to accept Catholic teachings on sexual m,orality. many lives have been changed by the discussions on these forums. Someone who's obviously provacative and intends to disrupt or disparage the faith should be dealt with, but otherwise, why bar people who may receive a greta benefit by being here?


We've been over these 7 quesions a zillion times before. it's an endless circular discussion that brings out the worst in many. The questions are imperfect. They are a starting point, not "game over". "Accept" and "follow" are two very different things: I've met 4/7's who live much holier lives than some 7/7's. Keep that in mind.




As for the scandals, we will always have these. We're not living in an age of moral decline - instead we live in a media-saturated age. This means that sex scandals get reported rather than buried. IMO, this is a good thing. Sunlight and fresh air are the best disinfectants. The Church's scandals are best dealt with out in the open rather than being hushed up. We see where hushing things up got us. It caused even greater and continuing harm.


What do we, as faithful Catholics do? We pray. We love. We live right. We do not scold. We do not judge. We do not get discouraged. We examine our own consciences to see how we fall (far) short of the life God wants us to live. If we do not sin against chastity (as often or badly as others), we may still sin greatly through pride, self-righteosness, lack of charity or empathy for others, ignoring our interior life, glutony, sloth, anger, envy, or sitting through Mass thinking badly of others around us.


The only thing we can do is to be holy and faithful. God will take care of the rest.





--hide--
I will have to disagree with you, we are living in a moral declining society and have been for more then 50 years. What are you wearing blinders, I could list so many reasons why, But i will give you the benefit of the doubt and figure you misspoke for now. OK big shoot.

02/26/2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: You got it.I've encountered dozens of 7/7s who could quote chapter and verse from the...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

You got it.

I've encountered dozens of 7/7s who could quote chapter and verse from the Bible and the CCC, but who had not an ounce of charity in their hearts. Phooey on that!

Yes, each of us would love to meet and marry a saint. But ultimately, the state of one's soul is one's own business.

I'm happy to meet anyone. Maybe I will learn something from them, and maybe they will learn something from me.

--hide--
Maybe so, But who do you respect more? The Christian who has carried his cross as best he/she could- and has had to pay a heavy price for his/her faith.., or the "christian" who choses his/her beliefs when its appropriate-especially in this people- pleasing, politically correct society. I dont want to judge either, and I agree we all work on our own Conversion-with gods grace. 7/7 is a basic starting point in the faith IMHO-or what else do we have in common as cafeteria Catholics-our worldliness??

02/26/2013 new

(Quote) Thomas-699657 said: I will have to disagree with you, we are living in a moral declining society and have been for m...
(Quote) Thomas-699657 said:

I will have to disagree with you, we are living in a moral declining society and have been for more then 50 years. What are you wearing blinders, I could list so many reasons why, But i will give you the benefit of the doubt and figure you misspoke for now. OK big shoot.

--hide--


Sexual morals are no worse now than they were decades or even centuries ago. In the 90's I used to go to a priest from Italy for confession and direction. he was ordained in 1927. He once told me that he heard more confessions of sexual sins inthe 20's, 30's and 40's than in the 60's and onwards. Read collections of old sermons going back centuries - even into patristic times. The only difference bewteen now and then is that there is more public attention paid to them and, yes, more acceptance of them. But this has been the case in ages past as well.


Rather than disparage our times, we must be grateful God has given us this opportunity to live holy lives in disapproving times.


Big shoot? With my tiny gun?? wink Cut me some slack, I'm doing my dim bulb best.

02/26/2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Remember that the Catholic Church is for the sinners, not those who are perfect. By exclu...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Remember that the Catholic Church is for the sinners, not those who are perfect. By excluding those who are imperfect, you lose the opportunity for conversion.

Also consider that CM really has no way to determine, other than by self-revelation, what a member's faith is. If you require 7/7, people will answer the questions 7/7.in order to get in, just as some do today to appear to avoid the stigma of not being 7/7.

I think Naomu has a much better suggestion -- educate those who need it (i.e., all of us) and allow individual members to use their discretion and discernment of God's will toguide their personal behavior.

--hide--


THANK YOU!!

02/26/2013 new

I think it would be a great idea if there was a "resource library" here on CM, with liinks to the great writings/explanations of the Church and its scholars on these topics. It could be hyperlinks to other sites' offerings. That way people who are interested will not have to look far for the Truth.

Posts 11 - 20 of 98