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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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02/26/2013 new

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Thank you all for your thoughtful and charitable responses.

To those of you who missed it in the early part of the thread, I did say in response to a post Jerry made that I was not aware CM was intended to be for platonic friendships and fellowship as well as for folks searching for a spouse. I also was not aware that at one time, though Jerry is not sure if it is still the case, divorced Catholics were asked to sign an agreement not to use the site for dating purposes unless their marriage was annulled. Jerry also stated that divorced members are not allowed to use the match feature of the site. I am absolutely sure these safeguards are not intended as a punishment of any sort - or to make a judgement that anyone is bad or has done anything wrong. Like the teachings of the Church, these guidelines must be here to try and help us all remain faithful to the teachings of the Church which is an act of charity, otherwise CM would be supporting, in some way, adultery.

Some of you may have also missed in a early post the statement I made that, since CM is open to those also seeking fellowship or friendship, one could argue that including those who are not in agreement with the teachings of the Church might prove beneficial for all concerned.

From my perspective, from what I've been taught by people I respect VERY much, we're all here on earth with one primary goal - to get to Heaven and to help our brothers and sisters do the same. And I am heartened to hear that a number of you have experienced directly conversions of heart occurring on this site through interactions with others. Praise God!

Also from my perspective - no one has to agree with me of course! - I think it is an excellent opportunity to teach some of the truths of our Faith by providing a link with accurate catechesis about the 7 faith questions - what the Church teaches on each faith question and why - by providing a link directly next to each Faith question. For example, "Do you believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist?" (click here to find out what the Church teaches and why) _____Yes ______No As a few other people suggested there could also be a comment area provided if the person wished to expound on their answer. Talk about opening doors to communication! :-) Not trying to tell CM how to run their site - I think they do a very good job! Just a few suggestions!

God bless you all.

In Christ's Love,

Jan

02/27/2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Jesus never instructed us to put up a "K...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


Jesus never instructed us to put up a "Keep Out" sign on the church door or in any fellowship or community such as this. The religious skunks of his day criticized Jesus for eating and drinkers with publicans and tax collectors. But he made himself availale to those who most needed his love and truth. The longer people stay on CM, the more likely they are to come to accept Catholic teachings on sexual m,orality. many lives have been changed by the discussions on these forums. Someone who's obviously provacative and intends to disrupt or disparage the faith should be dealt with, but otherwise, why bar people who may receive a greta benefit by being here?


We've been over these 7 quesions a zillion times before. it's an endless circular discussion that brings out the worst in many. The questions are imperfect. They are a starting point, not "game over". "Accept" and "follow" are two very different things: I've met 4/7's who live much holier lives than some 7/7's. Keep that in mind.




As for the scandals, we will always have these. We're not living in an age of moral decline - instead we live in a media-saturated age. This means that sex scandals get reported rather than buried. IMO, this is a good thing. Sunlight and fresh air are the best disinfectants. The Church's scandals are best dealt with out in the open rather than being hushed up. We see where hushing things up got us. It caused even greater and continuing harm.


What do we, as faithful Catholics do? We pray. We love. We live right. We do not scold. We do not judge. We do not get discouraged. We examine our own consciences to see how we fall (far) short of the life God wants us to live. If we do not sin against chastity (as often or badly as others), we may still sin greatly through pride, self-righteosness, lack of charity or empathy for others, ignoring our interior life, glutony, sloth, anger, envy, or sitting through Mass thinking badly of others around us.


The only thing we can do is to be holy and faithful. God will take care of the rest.





--hide--
Well said David. Thanks for showing us the deeper critical thinking needed to see past the face value of what we see in others, but rather, the true meaning of who WE need to be as taught by Jesus.

02/27/2013 new

(Quote) Jan-672216 said: Some of you may have also missed in a early post the statement I made that, since CM is open to tho...
(Quote) Jan-672216 said:

Some of you may have also missed in a early post the statement I made that, since CM is open to those also seeking fellowship or friendship, one could argue that including those who are not in agreement with the teachings of the Church might prove beneficial for all concerned.

--hide--


Thanks. All benefit by membership. No catholic site, event, or organization should be open only to saints. Who among us would qualify?

02/27/2013 new

(Quote) Jan-672216 said: Like the teachings of the Church, these guidelines must be here to try and help us all remain faith...
(Quote) Jan-672216 said:

Like the teachings of the Church, these guidelines must be here to try and help us all remain faithful to the teachings of the Church which is an act of charity, otherwise CM would be supporting, in some way, adultery.

--hide--


Yes and no. An annulment is not a catholic divorce. It's an adjuducation that there never was a valid sacramental marriage to begin with - NOT that the marriage is over and the spouses are free to remarry. A divorced person w/o an annulment but who has solid grounds for one would not be committing adultery by dating. it's a very unwise course and nnot to be recommended, but it's not adultery. The lawyer in me causes me to make this distinction.

02/27/2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: Education, education, education! Nag our priests and clergy, and support and pray for them...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

Education, education, education!

Nag our priests and clergy, and support and pray for them to give the hard homilies. I'm sick of hearing about how its responsible stewardship to use energy efficient light bulbs, where's the homilies on marriage? On why contraception is a grave sin? Where's the public scoulding and excommunication of politicans and public catholics who make it very obvious they don't agree with the Church while still taking communion on Sunday?

--hide--



Excellent observations, Naomi. You are wise beyond your years.

02/27/2013 new

Upon reflection, I want to say Thank You to those my age who reject other members strictly on the basis of 7/7 status or marital status, because really, you have eliminated yourself from my pool of competition.. There are annulled members here that don't change their divorced status to annulled.. Because I'm willing to talk to everybody , I find out that tidbit of information.. There are also members who have had their ex-spouse die after the divorce, (meaning they are free to marry) but if you don't give a person the opportunity to explain, you won't know that. The 7/7 questions as they stand, only ask if you believe in the teachings. They don't ask if you are practicing the teachings.. There are lots of members that are practicing the teachings and answered no or willing to respect the wishes of the person they are interested in. But you don't know that if you don't open up communication..

It's so sad to see so many that just look for reasons to reject others..Then say they aren't having success here.

02/27/2013 new

clap

02/27/2013 new
(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Upon reflection, I want to say Thank You to those my age who reject other members strictly on the basis of 7/7 s...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Upon reflection, I want to say Thank You to those my age who reject other members strictly on the basis of 7/7 status or marital status, because really, you have eliminated yourself from my pool of competition.. There are annulled members here that don't change their divorced status to annulled.. Because I'm willing to talk to everybody , I find out that tidbit of information.. There are also members who have had their ex-spouse die after the divorce, (meaning they are free to marry) but if you don't give a person the opportunity to explain, you won't know that. The 7/7 questions as they stand, only ask if you believe in the teachings. They don't ask if you are practicing the teachings.. There are lots of members that are practicing the teachings and answered no or willing to respect the wishes of the person they are interested in. But you don't know that if you don't open up communication..



It's so sad to see so many that just look for reasons to reject others..Then say they aren't having success here.



--hide--


Donna, I agree with you here. I'm not 7/7 on the questions, but I am a faithful Catholic to the best of my ability and understanding, and I am honest. If someone rules me out because I'm not 7/7, thanks be to God. I know that person is too rigid in their thinking for me. Even if I were 7/7, I might list myself as 6/7 just to weed out guys like that. For instance, I disagree with the church's teaching on contraception on a very very narrow ground. In the case of a married couple, one of whom is HIV positive, and the other is uninfected, I believe that that couple should be free to use a barrier method of contraception, not for contraceptive purposes but to try to protect the health of one of the partners. Those barrier methods are not perfect, so a baby could still result from this marriage. The church has apparently indicated that even in this situation using a barrier method is not okay unless a hole is made in the barrier to allow life to be created. Wow! I think that shows a lack of trust in God. If God can impregnate a virgin, he can get past a barrier method if he wants that couple to make a baby.
02/27/2013 new

To Rule the World -- Make it Sleazy, It's Too Easy:
"So Very Few Will Ever Realize
The Longest of Wars has Won its Prize,
Their Thoughts, Behaviours, Whole Worldview
Given Them by Experts They Never Knew,
Emulating Characters Portrayed in Fiction,
Adopting Attitudes, Conduct and Diction,
Never Comparing to Think it Strange,
For Peer-Group Went Through Same Change,
The Survival Instinct, Pairing and Bonding,
Pushed Aside for Multi-Partner Fondling,
Destroy Norms to Conquer, Create the Fool,
Narcissistic Hedonists are Easy to Rule,
Too Busy with Pleasure, Predatory Behaviour,
They've No One to Trust or Be a Saviour
When it's All Gone Wrong in Life's Calamity,
It's Terribly Lonely When There's No Family,
The State Grows from Carnage, Eyes Agleam,
Brings Order Out of Chaos, Merciless Machine"
© Alan Watt Nov. 18, 2010

02/27/2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Yes and no. An annulment is not a catholic divorce. It's an adjuducation that there never...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


Yes and no. An annulment is not a catholic divorce. It's an adjuducation that there never was a valid sacramental marriage to begin with - NOT that the marriage is over and the spouses are free to remarry. A divorced person w/o an annulment but who has solid grounds for one would not be committing adultery by dating. it's a very unwise course and nnot to be recommended, but it's not adultery. The lawyer in me causes me to make this distinction.

--hide--

David - from my understanding of the topic, assuming someone has a civil divorce, an annulment is a statement that, for whatever reason determined, a sacramental marriage never existed. The granting of an annulment indicates that the divorced partners are free to enter into a Sacramental marriage if they so choose. Until the divorced person applies for an annulment and receives one from legitimate Church authorities, they are still considered a married person by the Church. Married people are not free to enter into romantic dating relationships.

Here are a couple of good resources for people who have questions, or they can always contact the canon lawyer at their Diocesan office to make sure they understand what the Church really says on the matter.

ascensionpress.com

shop.catholic.com

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