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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Feb 28th 2013 new

Even if someone answers 7/7, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I had a fellow contact me who answered 7/7 and as we communicated I realized he didn't really understand at least one of the questions. He seemed to think that the Church's teaching is that one is to remain a virgin until marriage and then all bets are off. He kept saying "you have children so you aren't a virgin." I told him that was true but I was celibate until I marry again. I don't think he could even grasp that concept. Of course, his profile said that his faith was important to him but when I asked about attendance at Mass, he said "when I can." It doesn't appear that he's still a member. This definitely was not the place for him.

However, I've since changed my search preferences to allow others besides 7/7. I still believe and follow all of them but am willing to talk to someone who isn't. I might be able to change his mind or he might be willing to abide by my choices. At my age and in my location, why narrow the field unnecessarily? laughing

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: The links are already there.. They are there when a person first puts up a profile an...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


The links are already there.. They are there when a person first puts up a profile and they are there right now if you click on Edit.

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+

Wonderful! I'm happy to see this!

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: (Quote) Jan-672216 said: . . . Here is something a fellow CM person...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

Quote:
Jan-672216 said:

. . .

Here is something a fellow CM person sent me who wishes to remain anonymous, though I do have their permission to repost. I do agree with the sentiments this person expresses and think this person proposes an excellent solution (bolding is mine to make sure people understand what is being expressed):

"I strongly believe people should have official annulments from the Church before they are able to join a dating site which markets themselves as Catholic. Now, if there were two clear separate divisions of Catholic Match (Spiritual/Social/Friendship Interaction vs Dating) then that would be different. This is marketed as a dating site not general social site...hence "CatholicMatch"."



Well thank goodness CM's founders didn't think that same way.

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Really, I have a very difficult time understanding why a Catholic Christian would think its o.k. to provide, and in a few cases even applauds providing, a service that markets itself as Catholic, claims it supports the teachings of the Church, but then creates an avenue for those who are not free to enter a Sacramental marriage a way to date?

Feb 28th 2013 new
This post has been flagged as inappropriate for this discussion or forum.
Feb 28th 2013 new

Joining in on this thread kinda late...but read thru! Thanks David for your posts. I am one of "those" who have come here looking for a .moral guy but not really having enough faith myself. I really know little of the teachings, traditions and mandates. Didn't pay enough attention in catechism as a kid! And I'm one of those that if you contact me, I might tell you why!

But now I know why so many guys look at my profile and don't leave a message scratchchin



I admit to learning much this first three weeks! I didn't realize there was so much more than dating here. I like these forums.

However I will also say I've been a bit off put on more than one occasion by some holier than thou. Those make me want to run. However the longer I stay, the more I find the real heart of Jesus among our group. These people make me want to be a better Catholic.


Have blessed day.

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Susan-940526 said: Joining in on this thread kinda late...but read thru! Thanks David for your posts. I am one of &a...
(Quote) Susan-940526 said:

Joining in on this thread kinda late...but read thru! Thanks David for your posts. I am one of "those" who have come here looking for a .moral guy but not really having enough faith myself. I really know little of the teachings, traditions and mandates. Didn't pay enough attention in catechism as a kid! And I'm one of those that if you contact me, I might tell you why!

But now I know why so many guys look at my profile and don't leave a message



I admit to learning much this first three weeks! I didn't realize there was so much more than dating here. I like these forums.

However I will also say I've been a bit off put on more than one occasion by some holier than thou. Those make me want to run. However the longer I stay, the more I find the real heart of Jesus among our group. These people make me want to be a better Catholic.


Have blessed day.

--hide--

Susan,

Welcome to CatholicMatch and welcome to the forums. I hope our service and community can be of some help to you as you continue to deepen your faith and grow closer to Christ and His Church. While it is important to assent to all of Christ's teachings please know that He is more patient with you than any person could ever be and that He will never abandon you as you struggle with the faith and in life. I hope that you will find here in our community people who desire to support and help you as a person while lovingly try their best ot carry out their baptismal promise of preaching the Gospel to all nations. While we do a lot of talking in the forums remember than it was St. Francis who said preach the gospel, use words if you must. Thus pay more attention to the actions of those who genuinely care about you as a person rather than simply proving a theological point. As our our former Pope Benedict said, “Seeing with the eyes of Christ, I can give to others much more than their outward necessities; I can give them the look of love which they crave.”

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Jan-672216 said: Really, I have a very difficult time understanding why a Catholic Christian would...
(Quote) Jan-672216 said:

Really, I have a very difficult time understanding why a Catholic Christian would think its o.k. to provide, and in a few cases even applauds providing, a service that markets itself as Catholic, claims it supports the teachings of the Church, but then creates an avenue for those who are not free to enter a Sacramental marriage a way to date?

--hide--


I don't think that's what they're doing. Some may misuse it, but on the whole, CM does a lot of good. It promotes the faith. Many members grow in their faith and get closer to God. I did. I don't envy the administrators who have the impossible and often thankless task of trying to make everyone happy. Cut them some slack, would you? Not sure what else to tell you. The only reason I'm writing this is because your post was in response to one of mine.


It's futile to police others. Look anywhere and we'll find people not living as they should. The only thing we can do is strive to live right ourselves. Rather than focus on what others may be doing wrong, we must look within - at our own faults and shortcomings and work to address those. I'm the only one I can fix and you're the only one you can fix. Why expect others to do live as we think right for them when we ourselves have so much room for improvement in our own morals and personal decisions?



Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: I don't think that's what they're doing. Some may misuse it, but on the whole, CM...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


I don't think that's what they're doing. Some may misuse it, but on the whole, CM does a lot of good. It promotes the faith. Many members grow in their faith and get closer to God. I did. I don't envy the administrators who have the impossible and often thankless task of trying to make everyone happy. Cut them some slack, would you? Not sure what else to tell you. The only reason I'm writing this is because your post was in response to one of mine.
It's futile to police others. Look anywhere and we'll find people not living as they should. The only thing we can do is strive to live right ourselves. Rather than focus on what others may be doing wrong, we must look within - at our own faults and shortcomings and work to address those. I'm the only one I can fix and you're the only one you can fix. Why expect others to do live as we think right for them when we ourselves have so much room for improvement in our own morals and personal decisions?

--hide--

+

David thanks for sharing your opinions. I don't think I am policing others - I think I'm trying to follow the teachings of the Church, including, most importantly, charity in all things. I have offered some suggestions for helping bring this site into greater harmony with our Faith as I understand the Church teachings. Some people have taken offense at my suggestions, some have supported them, some have even added to them. As long as we all express our opinions charitably and sincerely I see no problem in trying to communicate on these topics. I'm very aware that I am a sinner (have never claimed to be otherwise!) that I myself need to work on myself (with God's grace I do) but that doesn't mean where I see something that appears to me to be problematic I don't address it. On a personal level, I find it problematic that CM matches me with people who are not free to date or marry. It's happened several times already on this, my second go around, on this site. Several other people and I made some suggestions about improving this. If the owners are not in agreement they are free to ignore the suggestions, and I am free to not renew my membership if I feel strongly enough about the way the site is being run. It has nothing to do with feeling I am holier than anyone else - I don't. I just want to try to follow the teachings of our Church because I am convinced they are there to help us all get to Heaven and I want to encourage otehrs to do this as well. That's what I hope others will encourage me to do!

Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Jan-672216 said: + In being confronted with the reality of sexual scandal in our Church, at all levels really...
(Quote) Jan-672216 said:

+

In being confronted with the reality of sexual scandal in our Church, at all levels really, I am wondering if there is something we might do here on CM that could result in the building up of our Catholic Faith. Every now and then I see a post by one person or another that comments rather incredulously that people who are not in agreement with 7 listed Faith Questions still are allowed to participate on a "Catholic" dating site.

Would CM truly be more helpful to the Catholic Church on a whole if people who are not willing to accept the 7 Church Teachings listed, especially, in the light of the current sexual scandals rocking the Church, the teaching on no sex outside of marriage, the teaching on contraception, and the understanding that a Catholic, once married and divorced, is not free to even date until, or if, an annulment has been obtained? What do you think?

I'm interested to hear what Catholics faithful to the teachings of the Church think about this as well as those who do not accept the teachings of the Church.

May God bless and guide us all.

--hide--
What you are alluding to (allegiance to the Faith Questions, I presume), is too idealistic. It would be great if we were all on the same page in our beliefs and practices, but unfortunatly that's not the case. People are people. If they wanted to get on a Catholic dating site and were required to pledge their faithfulness to the Church's teachings, aren't there some who wouldn't respond honestly?

Indeed if all of us were to uphold the Church's teachings and practice the same, we would be near perfect human beings -- and we know that's not the case. We should work to better ourselves, but perfection eludes us.

As far as our place in the world, we, as Catholics, should be standing up and standing out so that people recognize that the Church is a worthwhile institution whose members are to be respected because they live their faith. Being alive and vibrant in practicing our Faith is what will make the Church stronger -- from laity to the Pope. At Mass, we are constantly reminded that we are to "go and serve the Lord". That means after we leave the parking lot.

Practicing our Faith involves our personal lives, work lives, recreation, and should literally exemplify our beliefs. Another ideal, perhaps, but that's what we're asked to do.

Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: I don't think that's what they're doing. Some may misuse it, but on the ...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


I don't think that's what they're doing. Some may misuse it, but on the whole, CM does a lot of good. It promotes the faith. Many members grow in their faith and get closer to God. I did. I don't envy the administrators who have the impossible and often thankless task of trying to make everyone happy. Cut them some slack, would you? Not sure what else to tell you. The only reason I'm writing this is because your post was in response to one of mine.


It's futile to police others. Look anywhere and we'll find people not living as they should. The only thing we can do is strive to live right ourselves. Rather than focus on what others may be doing wrong, we must look within - at our own faults and shortcomings and work to address those. I'm the only one I can fix and you're the only one you can fix. Why expect others to do live as we think right for them when we ourselves have so much room for improvement in our own morals and personal decisions?



--hide--
We often point out how people should act/react in situations involving moral judgments. That can become delicate because of having what is said interpreted as a "holier than thou" attitude. We can and should continue to point out the righteous path, but it is really up to people to decide for themselves how to act.

The bottom line is that we all have to answer for ourselves -- NOT others. During the Final Judgment, the Good Lord won't be asking us about our neighbor, friend, spouse, or what-have-you. He'll be asking what WE personally did or didn't do. Yup -- we have to clean up our own back yard first.

BTW, David, are you ok? Just wondering because you've been using capital letters.

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