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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Jennifer-491853 said: I wonder if that's a big red flag or a little one. Either way, we should all be open to co...
(Quote) Jennifer-491853 said:

I wonder if that's a big red flag or a little one. Either way, we should all be open to constructive criticism. After all, sometimes someone will see something that we don't. However, criticism, when it is constant and/or belittling can mean abuse and that is a big red flag.

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I think this is a really good point, Jennifer! What kind of criticism are we talking here? No one responds well to abusive criticism, but being able to accept constructive criticism is an essential life skill.

If someone said they didn't accept criticism well, I would want to know what kind. If it's the abusive kind, I would think they were perfectly normal. If they said they couldn't accept constructive criticism, I would consider that a concern. If they fly off the handle when they interpret someone as criticizing them, I would consider that a red flag.

Feb 28th 2013 new

"Hey, they're being honest!"

I would probably then say something like "Is this a job interview? I can pull out the Myers-Briggs test if you like." I have this tendency to "overshare" either online or in real life, I would guess this was just the same kind of thing and try to lighten the mood.

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Hannah-708610 said: I think this is a really good point, Jennifer! What kind of criticism are we talking he...
(Quote) Hannah-708610 said:

I think this is a really good point, Jennifer! What kind of criticism are we talking here? No one responds well to abusive criticism, but being able to accept constructive criticism is an essential life skill.

If someone said they didn't accept criticism well, I would want to know what kind. If it's the abusive kind, I would think they were perfectly normal. If they said they couldn't accept constructive criticism, I would consider that a concern. If they fly off the handle when they interpret someone as criticizing them, I would consider that a red flag.

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I would also say: regardless of what they say, how do they act? You might meet someone who says they can accept criticism, but gets offended if you don't always have positive things to say. Actions speak louder than words...

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the o...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the other party says, "I don't respond well to criticism."

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I think I would probably think and say, "Well, in my experience most people don't." and smile :-)

Feb 28th 2013 new
(Quote) John-184825 said: Hi Eileen, My question really does call for some questions to clarify it as your approach does. Your meth...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Hi Eileen,

My question really does call for some questions to clarify it as your approach does. Your method also seems to be a good balance between the two extremes of avoiding or ignoring the question, on the one hand, and, on the other hand, of over-reacting to it.

John

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Hi John, That is how this woman's mind works sometimes....on occasion it is underworked and other times it is on overtime! Eileen
Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Hannah-708610 said: I think this is a really good point, Jennifer! What kind of criticism are we talking here? No on...
(Quote) Hannah-708610 said:

I think this is a really good point, Jennifer! What kind of criticism are we talking here? No one responds well to abusive criticism, but being able to accept constructive criticism is an essential life skill.

If someone said they didn't accept criticism well, I would want to know what kind. If it's the abusive kind, I would think they were perfectly normal. If they said they couldn't accept constructive criticism, I would consider that a concern. If they fly off the handle when they interpret someone as criticizing them, I would consider that a red flag.

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I have to Hannah it to you for adding some good points and expanding on those of others also on their toes.

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Katherine-868943 said: "Hey, they're being honest!" I would probably then say something like &q...
(Quote) Katherine-868943 said:

"Hey, they're being honest!"

I would probably then say something like "Is this a job interview? I can pull out the Myers-Briggs test if you like." I have this tendency to "overshare" either online or in real life, I would guess this was just the same kind of thing and try to lighten the mood.

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Giving the other an initial benefit of the doubt that includes the possibility that he is just being open and honest is a good attitude I'd say.

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: I think I would probably think and say, "Well, in my experience most people don...
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

I think I would probably think and say, "Well, in my experience most people don't." and smile :-)

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Sounds like putting it back in his court rather than sending a retort.

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Eileen-890971 said: Hi John, That is how this woman's mind works sometimes....on occasion it is underworked and other t...
(Quote) Eileen-890971 said: Hi John, That is how this woman's mind works sometimes....on occasion it is underworked and other times it is on overtime! Eileen
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Yes, it's claimed that a woman's neurotransmitters can sometimes get relief only by hiring babysitters. Of course she must then relax and not spend all that time sending twitters. eyepopping

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: In my head: "You'll respond even less well to threats". &quo...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

In my head:

"You'll respond even less well to threats".

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend your delicate sensitivities, your majesty?"

Out of my mouth:

"Ah... what do you mean?"

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you one funny kiwi

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