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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Mar 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said: I share the same dilemma. My age comes across as a great barrier too. Some women find me too ol...
(Quote) Kahirup-898887 said:

I share the same dilemma. My age comes across as a great barrier too. Some women find me too old, and some find me too young for their taste.

I've met some younger women who never had any issues hanging around with me till they find out my birthyear. The scenario usually goes like this: they were attracted just because I come across as somebody having a mindset way ahead of my years... that however goes on only until she finds out how old I really am. And when that happens she gets freaked out and/or creeped out with the idea that she was hanging out with an older man.

For the older ladies, I usually get this "you are a fine chap, too bad you're way too young for me. I pray that you find that young lady for you."

Just a disclaimer, I don't deny nor make any attempts to hide my real age. For the younger women that I meet, I usually volunteer the information that I am way older than they are, but that is dismissed as a joke not until they see my driver's license. It all goes down the drain after that.

--hide--

But surely Kahirup you are not talking about hanging out with 18year olds.

Mar 9th 2013 new

It all depends upon the people. I'm a convert and after my Mom's parents got divorced they both remarried. Grandma married a really nice guy about her age and he really became part of the family. Grandpa married a lady who was a year younger than his oldest daughter. So it's about a 20 year age difference. He was in his 50's and she was in her 30's. More of a gap than I would be comfortable with.

It most definitely caused family coolness and hurt feelings but that was over 30 years ago. Grandpa and Lynn (she doesn't like to be called Grandma) are a cute couple and are sweetly devoted to each other. Granted, now he is in his late 80's and she very much has to be a caregiver they are a sweet and caring couple and everyone has pretty much gotten over being weirded out by the age thing. I think they had both at other times dated people their own ages but once they were together age did not matter. I have to think clicking like that is less common with the age gap and, of course you have to be committed to your marriage and your spouse to have a lovely 30 year and counting relationship.

Mar 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: But surely Kahirup you are not talking about hanging out with 18year olds.
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

But surely Kahirup you are not talking about hanging out with 18year olds.

--hide--
Definitely not 18... at least 21 laughing

For the most part, age is nothing but a number for me. Connection of the mind, a good intellectual chemistry usually sets the stage for me.

Mar 9th 2013 new

My first husband and I married when I was 26 and he was 43. He was the most handsome man I had ever met, and fit me like a glove. We had children together, and I cannot ever remember a time in our lifetime together that anyone, in church, in our childrens' schools, our circle of friends, or anywhere else, ever was icked or creeped out about our being together. Some matches are made for each other, and some are not. It's all a matter of preference for the one who is meant to be with you. I wouldn't trade my years with him for all the tea in China or for anyone else. It's about life experience. I've dated men 2-4 years younger than me. It hasn't worked, for whatever reason. If someone - anyone - doesn't appeal to you - then they just don't. It is offensive to me for others to judge what is appropriate or in-appropriate for others to get together in a loving relationship. I am not the judge of that, nor anyone else that I know of except our Lord.

Mar 11th 2013 new

As a single guy who's all-too-rapidly approaching his 37th year, how does one figure if a potential match would be creeped out by a message? The old (Age/2)+7 range? For myself, I tend toward those no younger than 26 or 27 right now. Is that too much of a gap?

Mar 11th 2013 new

Michael,


I certainly don't think that the 9-10 year difference (that you described) at your age is too large of a gap. My oldest brother was married at 38. His wife was 28 at the time. They have been married for about 18-20 years now and have two teenage girls. They seem very well-matched. In his case, I don't see that age difference as an issue at all.


Ed

Mar 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: In the interests of blatant honesty, because it comes across as a little creepy. Or that the fellow is after a ...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

In the interests of blatant honesty, because it comes across as a little creepy. Or that the fellow is after a "breeder", which is offensive.



Its fine to have friendships that spans the age bracket, but on a dating site? Unless you make it abundantly clear that you're only after friendship, a woman just over 18 might be a little put off by a man old enough to be her dad seeking her on a singles' site.



When I hear of a man late 40s early 50s hanging out with 18 - 25 year olds, I worry. A man in his late 40s has significantly more life experience, and at 18, a woman could be very naive, unaware of how easily it would be for the older gent to manipulate her, even if that's not his intention. In fact, on a Catholic site, most of those young ladies are very innocent some could be naive.



Sure, there are young women who are gold diggers, or who see the older chap as an easy mark, but on a Catholic site, I doubt the majority of young women fall into this catagory.



Of course, its a reflection of social status, isn't it? Most guys in their late 40s, early 50s tend to be in relationships, have had past relationships of some seriousness, ie. marriage, most have kids, most have responsibilities concerning other individuals. So how can a guy in his late 40s without these relationships get on well with others of his age, with whom he shares very little in common? Its probably normal that he'll seek out younger individuals.



It still raises considerable concerns, though.



And really, how many parents would be happy about their 18 year old daughter in a relationship with a man in his late 40s?



Sometimes, and through no fault of our own, life just doesn't work out the way we expect, just gotta roll with the punches. I can't really offer much advice on how to change you situation, short of you trying to find a way to better way to relate to women in your age bracket. Its too general, too unique, too many variables.



Good luck though, and may God gift you the discernment you require for your path.







--hide--


Isnt the saying age is just a number look at Hugh Hefner hes 70 something at least and was engaged to a 24 year old hyper hyper hyper hyper hyper
Mar 25th 2013 new
(Quote) ED-20630 said: Hi Ralph, Perhaps you will see why some people see this as much too large of an age gap by looki...
(Quote) ED-20630 said:

Hi Ralph,




Perhaps you will see why some people see this as much too large of an age gap by looking at it from a different perspective. What would be your reaction if a woman in the age range of 69-79 were to want to initiate a dating relationship with you? I doubt that it would be the same open-minded response that you would like to receive from your contact with the 18-28 year old women.




I hope that you find the right woman for you.




Ed

--hide--


touche`
Mar 25th 2013 new

He is 86. She is 26. I'm sure she is thinking/calculating that he can't possibly be around much longer... and then she will have some pocket money after he is gone.


Ed

Mar 27th 2013 new
I make conversations with older men as well, but it's more like, Awwww, what a non-threatening grandpa who is not interested in me like that! Whew!
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