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This room is for discussion related to learning about the faith (Catechetics), defense of the Faith (Apologetics), the Liturgy and canon law, motivated by a desire to grow closer to Christ or to bring someone else closer.

Saint Augustine of Hippo is considered on of the greatest Christian thinkers of all time and the Doctor of the Church.
Learn More: Saint Augustine

Apr 15th 2013 new
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said: Kissing a girl is not going to take away your sexual desires. If anything it will make them stronger. God ga...
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:

Kissing a girl is not going to take away your sexual desires. If anything it will make them stronger. God gave you those desires, they are not bad.



You can not kiss the girl, get married and live happily ever after. Good luck. Maybe this is the right place to be to find a woman that will say yes when you ask her to marry you.



God wants men and women to marry. In the Judeo-Christian tradition it has always been a shameful thing if a man, or woman were unmarried, or divorced, until maybe now. But then now so many things are not as shameful as they used to be. (Probably a bad thing.) Hopefully men and women do not "take away" their sexual desires, but rejoice in them, in the context of a Holy, Sacramental Marriage.



But, in most cases, when people achieve a Holy Sacramental Marriage there was some serious kissing going on before the wedding. Probably more than that, but I see no reason to speculate. I think it is unreasonable to date the woman you are intending to marry and not have thoughts of having sex with her, if you kiss her or not. It is wrong, at this time, in this country, to have sex with her before your wedding. That has not always been true. Traditions concerning marriage have changed through the centuries.



Personally, I believe that there is no sexual sin in dating as long as the boundries established by the couple are respected. It is difficult to state that sex proir to marriage is sinful, as much as people would like to, because at the time of Jesus, for example, a couple was betrothed by their parents. This betrothal may have happened when the child was born. As the child grew the child was told who they were betrothed to. When the betrothed couple, or perhaps their family, decided it was time for a wedding they would get married. They could get married simply by moving in together without the wedding. It was acceptable to simply move in together if you were bethrothed. Can you think of a fairly well known couple that simply moved in together? Do you know when this custom of getting married stopped?



Anyway, thoughts are temptations, not sins. Jesus had thoughts of not being crucified. That is written in the Bible. But Catholic teaching is pretty strong on the point that Jesus never sinned. Therefore, a thought cannot be sinful. You may think about whatever you wish to think about but you may not act on it if it would be sinful. And yes, somethings are best not to think about.



Another example about how thinking has changed concerning marriage concerns how may wives a man can have. In the early Church there were cases of men converting to Christianity and bringing their wives along. I wonder what would happen today if a man, with several wives, decided to become a Catholic. I really doubt if the Church would demand that he divorce his wives.



But, back to the topic at hand, you manage your sexual desires by getting married and having a "Sacramental Marriage". If you choose to behave in a way that prevents you from marrying then you are sinning. It is more common for people to choose to have sex with many people and never get married. It is obvious that is sinful. I have known people that, even in a marriage, are not interested in affection, or sex. A lack of normal healthy affection is just as disordered as promiscuity.



So, if you want to get married and you feel that your prospects are not very good, or things aren't working I suggest you talk to a friend that has what you want. Ask them how they got what they have. Don't be down on yourself, don't think you are not attractive, or not somehow worthy. But, sometimes a thing that works for one person does not work for someone else. So, you sometimes need to search for awhile, and sometimes growth is required. And yes, if you listen to a priest and follow what he tells you and it works great. If it doesn't work you should talk to him about it. He could be wrong, or his advice may not work for you.



--hide--


A severe case of halitosis will.
Apr 15th 2013 new
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said: Kissing a girl is not going to take away your sexual desires. If anything it will make them stronger. God ga...
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:

Kissing a girl is not going to take away your sexual desires. If anything it will make them stronger. God gave you those desires, they are not bad.



You can not kiss the girl, get married and live happily ever after. Good luck. Maybe this is the right place to be to find a woman that will say yes when you ask her to marry you.



God wants men and women to marry. In the Judeo-Christian tradition it has always been a shameful thing if a man, or woman were unmarried, or divorced, until maybe now. But then now so many things are not as shameful as they used to be. (Probably a bad thing.) Hopefully men and women do not "take away" their sexual desires, but rejoice in them, in the context of a Holy, Sacramental Marriage.



But, in most cases, when people achieve a Holy Sacramental Marriage there was some serious kissing going on before the wedding. Probably more than that, but I see no reason to speculate. I think it is unreasonable to date the woman you are intending to marry and not have thoughts of having sex with her, if you kiss her or not. It is wrong, at this time, in this country, to have sex with her before your wedding. That has not always been true. Traditions concerning marriage have changed through the centuries.



Personally, I believe that there is no sexual sin in dating as long as the boundries established by the couple are respected. It is difficult to state that sex proir to marriage is sinful, as much as people would like to, because at the time of Jesus, for example, a couple was betrothed by their parents. This betrothal may have happened when the child was born. As the child grew the child was told who they were betrothed to. When the betrothed couple, or perhaps their family, decided it was time for a wedding they would get married. They could get married simply by moving in together without the wedding. It was acceptable to simply move in together if you were bethrothed. Can you think of a fairly well known couple that simply moved in together? Do you know when this custom of getting married stopped?



Anyway, thoughts are temptations, not sins. Jesus had thoughts of not being crucified. That is written in the Bible. But Catholic teaching is pretty strong on the point that Jesus never sinned. Therefore, a thought cannot be sinful. You may think about whatever you wish to think about but you may not act on it if it would be sinful. And yes, somethings are best not to think about.



Another example about how thinking has changed concerning marriage concerns how may wives a man can have. In the early Church there were cases of men converting to Christianity and bringing their wives along. I wonder what would happen today if a man, with several wives, decided to become a Catholic. I really doubt if the Church would demand that he divorce his wives.



But, back to the topic at hand, you manage your sexual desires by getting married and having a "Sacramental Marriage". If you choose to behave in a way that prevents you from marrying then you are sinning. It is more common for people to choose to have sex with many people and never get married. It is obvious that is sinful. I have known people that, even in a marriage, are not interested in affection, or sex. A lack of normal healthy affection is just as disordered as promiscuity.



So, if you want to get married and you feel that your prospects are not very good, or things aren't working I suggest you talk to a friend that has what you want. Ask them how they got what they have. Don't be down on yourself, don't think you are not attractive, or not somehow worthy. But, sometimes a thing that works for one person does not work for someone else. So, you sometimes need to search for awhile, and sometimes growth is required. And yes, if you listen to a priest and follow what he tells you and it works great. If it doesn't work you should talk to him about it. He could be wrong, or his advice may not work for you.



--hide--


Lawrence, good book also.
Apr 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Monica-730858 said: Thanks for posting this! It's been my impression that a lot of people aren't aware of th...
(Quote) Monica-730858 said:

Thanks for posting this! It's been my impression that a lot of people aren't aware of these things. There's one on there called "Kissing a vocation goodbye" and people are generally shocked when they learn that passionate kissing is a mortal sin if you're unmarried. I love audiosancto!!!

--hide--


I did not know that either and I am relieved also because it kind of takes the pressure off if you meet someone who also knows about it.


Thanks for the link, Bernard.

Posts 161 - 163 of 163