Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match!

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for discussion related to learning about the faith (Catechetics), defense of the Faith (Apologetics), the Liturgy and canon law, motivated by a desire to grow closer to Christ or to bring someone else closer.

Saint Augustine of Hippo is considered on of the greatest Christian thinkers of all time and the Doctor of the Church.
Learn More: Saint Augustine

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Noemi-900477 said: *passionate kissing, that is. Kissing for the mere pleasure of kissing ---> passionate kissing...
(Quote) Noemi-900477 said:

*passionate kissing, that is. Kissing for the mere pleasure of kissing ---> passionate kissing ---> higher temptation, actions that lead to the marital act, etc. ---> not okay.

Someone, anyone...is my understanding correct that non-passionate kissing is okay? (please tell me I am correct! haha)

--hide--

This priest likes to say, "Sure you can kiss your girl, guys! But it better darn well be a kiss like you'd give your grandmother." laughing

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Rosemarie-744159 said: Hi, Bernie! Thanks for sharing this. In turn, I want to share this reading which...
(Quote) Rosemarie-744159 said:


Hi, Bernie! Thanks for sharing this. In turn, I want to share this reading which I hope can enlighten further. The author's last 3 paragraphs caught my attention, as these exactly explains my own experience in Catechism. It is never ever too late to become an authentic Catholic as long as one keeps seeking the Truth....

...." One of the books that I read provided an analysis of each of the Ten Commandments and the subsequent teachings of our Lord. In the chapter that explained the 6th and 9th commandments, the topics of purity and chastity were covered in detail. There was one statement in that chapter that took me completely by surprise. It declared that for unmarried couples, passionate kissing, or what is commonly known as french kissing, is considered a mortal sin (provided the conditions for a mortal sin have been met).

The Pocket Catholic Dictionary defines a “mortal sin” as follows:

An actual sin that destroys sanctifying grace and causes the supernatural death of the soul. Mortal sin is a turning away from God because of a seriously inordinate adherence to creatures that causes grave injury to a person’s rational nature and to the social order, and deprives the sinner of a right to heaven.

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, three conditions must be met in order for a sin to be mortal: (1) a voluntary or deliberate thought, word, or action (2) that is grievously offensive to God (3) which is carried out with full knowledge. (CCC 1857 & 1859). If a person dies while in the state of mortal sin, he or she is denied heaven and is destined to suffer eternal punishment with all of the other fallen human beings and angels.

As any 10 year old who watches television or movies knows, a passionate or french kiss occurs when two individuals engage in a kiss and their tongues touch and/or one of the individual’s tongues enters the mouth of the other individual.

Despite the fact that I attended a Catholic grade school and was raised by and surrounded by devout Catholics, I had never been told that passionate kissing prior to marriage was a mortal sin. Even after reading about it, I couldn’t believe that the Church would impose such a harsh penalty (eternal damnation) on what appeared to be a harmless activity. So I started searching for an answer as to why the Church would characterize a passionate kiss between an unmarried man and woman as being grievously offensive to God.

What I discovered was that prior to the 1960’s Catholic boys and girls were routinely taught that passionate kissing before marriage was a mortal sin; however, not only did this teaching fall out of favor with the advent of the sexual revolution in the 1960’s, it completely disappeared from catechism courses and Catholic books.

It took several years before I was able to understand the logic behind the teaching. There needs to be a clear delineation between what constitutes proper behavior for an unmarried Catholic couple. Without clear guidelines, a couple can unknowingly venture into dangerous and destructive territory. While an unmarried male and female companion are allowed to show affection for each other that includes holding hands, hugging, appropriate touching and caressing, and regular kissing, they are forbidden from engaging in any activity that can lead to sexual arousal...."

www.adoration.com

--hide--

Thank you for this clarity Rosemarie! Very well put.

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Tom-112790 said: Lincoln is the french kissing capitol of the usa
(Quote) Tom-112790 said:

Lincoln is the french kissing capitol of the usa
--hide--

Hmmm...then it's probably a good thing I didn't move there before I converted! Then I'd be living in a near occasion of sin. wink

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Monica-730858 said: This priest likes to say, "Sure you can kiss your girl, guys! But it better darn w...
(Quote) Monica-730858 said:

This priest likes to say, "Sure you can kiss your girl, guys! But it better darn well be a kiss like you'd give your grandmother."

--hide--


laughing nice way to put it!

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Monica-730858 said: This priest likes to say, "Sure you can kiss your girl, guys! But it better darn w...
(Quote) Monica-730858 said:

This priest likes to say, "Sure you can kiss your girl, guys! But it better darn well be a kiss like you'd give your grandmother."

--hide--


I never heard any of this before Bernard posted that link and I listened to that homily. I took notes as well. It makes me wonder what else I have missed having been taught after Vatican II. And for the record grandma only got kissed on the cheek.


Thanks for Bernard for posting the link and to everyone else here for the clarification.

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-13836 said: I never heard any of this before Bernard posted that link and I listened to that homily...
(Quote) Jim-13836 said:


I never heard any of this before Bernard posted that link and I listened to that homily. I took notes as well. It makes me wonder what else I have missed having been taught after Vatican II. And for the record grandma only got kissed on the cheek.


Thanks for Bernard for posting the link and to everyone else here for the clarification.

--hide--

Audiosancto is a fantastic site. I've listened to countless homilies on there. If you like this particular priest, you can find a lot of his homilies in 2003. Other sites I've found very helpful are fisheaters.com and churchmilitant.tv. If you pay $10/month to churchmilitant.tv you can watch all kinds of great stuff. It's well worth the $. You learn everything you should have been taught in Catechetics and/or RCIA for converts but weren't. It made me sad to realize how much I wasn't taught in my RCIA class, they were even so bold as to say that there's probably no one in hell. Lord have mercy!!

Mar 7th 2013 new

Greeting's Bernard,

I have a question regarding your thread topic. It seems to me if you want to avoid any feelings of lust, and temptation, theoretically you should ideally refrain from listening to suggestive love songs with lyrics such as, for example, like the one's you posted on my recent thread ("Baby it's cold outside Favorite Cuddling Song " ) which as you know included lyrics such as..."Something in the way she moves"... I somehow can't imagine Harrison referring to the way she vacuums ! It seems possible to me that such lyrics might lead to feelings of lust and desire whereby it's very nature risk's the possibility of awakening the dreaded libido, and subjecting an unfortunate soul to the shame and damnation of a Mortal sin, therefore what is one to do censor every possible sensory stimuli we are exposed to on a daily basis. I also take issue with mere mortals having no control over bodily function's, if that were an accurate statement we would all be wearing diapers ! absurd ! Everyone has free will and can differentiate between right and wrong, if that were not so, we would all be Neanderthal's with car keys, and a Blackberry ! So if you would be so kind, could you please assist us with your unwavering morality on exactly how we might reconcile the dilemma facing this inevitable temptation.

''George Harrison's " Something "

Something in the way she moves Attracts me like no other lover

Something in the way she woos me

I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how
Somewhere in the way she smiles
That I don't need no other lover
Something in her style that shows me
I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how
You're asking me will my love grow
I don't know, I don't know
You stick around and it may show
I don't know, I don't know
Something in the way she knows
All I have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me
I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

Finally, I have heard countless theories, and viewpoints from my fellow Catholic Match peers, on the interpretation of the Bible's content, and while some have enlightened me immeasurably, other appeared to be unduly, harsh, punitive, and excessively judgemental ! That is precisely why when I have a question regarding the Bible I seek the advice of my own ordained Parish Catholic Priest, not some over zealous pious CM member attempting to impose his/her opinion on me ! After all if I required Neurosurgery, I would seek the services of a licensed Neurosurgeon with impeccable credentials, not the wannabee Physician sauntering around offering in some cases unsolicited advice. Finally, I joined CM to have an enjoyable experience in a non judgemental relaxing and supportive atmosphere, and for the most part that has been my experience. God Bless All, Sheila

Mar 7th 2013 new

OK, I understand the logic--I'm just not sure where we're getting into "mortal sin" territory. I mean, yes, papal opinion is one thing to take seriously, but then we also have things lie Pope Pius XII's opinion on modest dress. Unless it's something in the CCC that says "THIS IS A MORTAL SIN", I'm inclined to sort of be a bittt wary.


Now, I was engaged once. And yeah, we French kissed. We didn't do anything else. Nothing else happened. So this is one of those things where I sort of think people can have self control, yes? Now, obviously, this is the first time I've heard it's a mortal sin, but, again, I'm sort of placing this with the modesty "mortal sins" category.


Obviously, no sex. No heavy "petting", as my parents would call it. But French kissing? Really? I mean, come on guys, we have NO self control? We can't do that and let that be that?

Mar 7th 2013 new
(Quote) Emily-647155 said: OK, I understand the logic--I'm just not sure where we're getting into "mortal sin" territory...
(Quote) Emily-647155 said:

OK, I understand the logic--I'm just not sure where we're getting into "mortal sin" territory. I mean, yes, papal opinion is one thing to take seriously, but then we also have things lie Pope Pius XII's opinion on modest dress. Unless it's something in the CCC that says "THIS IS A MORTAL SIN", I'm inclined to sort of be a bittt wary.




Now, I was engaged once. And yeah, we French kissed. We didn't do anything else. Nothing else happened. So this is one of those things where I sort of think people can have self control, yes? Now, obviously, this is the first time I've heard it's a mortal sin, but, again, I'm sort of placing this with the modesty "mortal sins" category.




Obviously, no sex. No heavy "petting", as my parents would call it. But French kissing? Really? I mean, come on guys, we have NO self control? We can't do that and let that be that?

--hide--


I totally understand what you are saying because I felt the same way and was literally shocked when I realized that kissing could be a mortal sin. I, being a convert thought that it would be impossible to find someone who would not engage in premarital sex. Then I started listening to these homilies recently and thought, "you have to be kidding me...kissing is off the table too?" But after A LOT of time spent thinking about it and praying about it and listening to similar homilies and finding out how Catholics used to view things (change isn't always a good thing) it started to make sense. If I'm really honest I can't think of a relationship I've ever had with a guy where he didn't expect passionate kissing to lead to more. I suppose that could be possible, I just haven't encountered it. And, if you think honestly about it what is the point of passionate kissing? Can anyone really kiss someone this way and not have their passions stirred up? I mean, isn't that the point? I would really encourage you to try to find a way to listen to him if you can. I can't imagine anyone hearing a few of his homilies and not agreeing with him. He's speaking the truth and his only motive is trying to get souls to heaven.
Mar 7th 2013 new

Thank you Emily, I'm grateful you understood my point. A MORTAL SIN for kissing or holding hands with your significant other. It is incomprehensible to me, and contrary to what I was taught by our Parish Priest.

Posts 41 - 50 of 163