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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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Apr 16th 2013 new

Well, I'm a Melancholic-Choleric INTJ, so I can answer for being an introvert, although I'm not as shy as most introverts. I find, as far as temperaments go that I may be a little intimidated by a predominantly choleric temperment mainly because my choleric sub-temperament wants to be in control too but my dominant melancholicness takes over and I end up, sometimes resenting the controlling nature of the choleric rather than actually confronting it. On the other hand, however, I tend to get frustrated at the phlegmatic temperament for being too laid back, seemingly lazy and indifferent attitudes and thus do not like when a girl is too shy and takes forever to reply to my messages. I get along well with other melancholics relating to ideas and details, but by far, I am most attracted to the Sanguine temperament who is neither overly controlling like the choleric nor overly shy or unresponsive like the phlegmatic but is just happy, positive and all around friendly and not easily offended.


I hope that helps you understand a little how some introvert guys think. I would probably say that most guys just want to be in control of the relationship so I think as long as you respect the man's leadership role, I think you're good :)

Apr 24th 2013 new
Are you being bold an hour after meeting them on here or twenty conversations and a month later? I believe the people you really want to date tale their time.
Apr 24th 2013 new
(Quote) Andy-896770 said: Well, I'm a Melancholic-Choleric INTJ, so I can answer for being an introvert, although I'm not as shy a...
(Quote) Andy-896770 said:

Well, I'm a Melancholic-Choleric INTJ, so I can answer for being an introvert, although I'm not as shy as most introverts. I find, as far as temperaments go that I may be a little intimidated by a predominantly choleric temperment mainly because my choleric sub-temperament wants to be in control too but my dominant melancholicness takes over and I end up, sometimes resenting the controlling nature of the choleric rather than actually confronting it. On the other hand, however, I tend to get frustrated at the phlegmatic temperament for being too laid back, seemingly lazy and indifferent attitudes and thus do not like when a girl is too shy and takes forever to reply to my messages. I get along well with other melancholics relating to ideas and details, but by far, I am most attracted to the Sanguine temperament who is neither overly controlling like the choleric nor overly shy or unresponsive like the phlegmatic but is just happy, positive and all around friendly and not easily offended.




I hope that helps you understand a little how some introvert guys think. I would probably say that most guys just want to be in control of the relationship so I think as long as you respect the man's leadership role, I think you're good :)

--hide--


Andy, that was a really great post...
May 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Annie-939836 said: I have a few questions, mainly for the gentlemen, but ladies can answer as well if they have some...
(Quote) Annie-939836 said:

I have a few questions, mainly for the gentlemen, but ladies can answer as well if they have some insight. I am a pretty bold person, sometimes too bold perhaps including being really talkative and honest about my feelings, especially when I just want things to happen when I see potential (which suggests that I don't always want to let God be in control of the relationship area of my life). I feel as though I scare many guys away with my talkative and forward personality, being too honest;). And then I have moments where I get scared and just completely back away when I am faced with the possibility of someone being interested in me because I don't want to them to think that I am crowding them or being bothersome. There may be an obvious answer but how do I calm myself down? Is it more appropriate to let the man say how he feels instead of admitting my feelings first? Will a guy say something about how he truly feels or is it more common for a guy to be too shy to express those feelings until awhile later? I don't want to scare guys away or make them feel uncomfortable or make them think that I don't like them, but sometimes I feel as though I don't have a guy because of those very reasons. Help!

--hide--


Annie, I'd say to take things slowly and be careful. Indeed, I was on the receiving end last year of this kind of treatment from a woman I had just met and it was very unnerving. I had wanted friendship, had JUST submitted my annulment petition not many months before, and did NOT want a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I was new to town and wanted a friend to help me get engaged in a good Catholic church and in wholesome activities with other Catholics. Instead I felt as though I could expect a marriage proposal any day...and she barely knew me.

Wayyyyyy too much drama...

She was very open/up front with her feelings, and it felt very pushy. You're in your mid 20s. Take your time...there's plenty of it for you. Guys like ladies who are consistent, not hot one day and cold the next. There is a time to relax and have fun, and let the open/serious conversations come later in the relationship after it gets off the ground.



Jun 5th 2013 new
Hello Annie,

I love your honesty, good soul!! So you have a lot of good responses, so I will only share my own experience. A bit back I was dating a guy who came on really strong....but it allowed me to share my feelings openly.

Recently I was corresponding with someone who I felt I couldn't really connect with though I kinda wanted to. What? He was cute and I'm weak! laughing Anyway....I sent him a reply to a message which I knew let my sense of humor "hang out" and I thought, as my mouse hovered over the send button, that if he "gets" it I think we could be cool. If he didn't...that was ok too.

But I have to be true to who I am, because becoming Leyden has been a lifetime project between God and I. I'm not going to downplay His work.

In Christ,
Leyden
Jun 5th 2013 new
If he's the right guy for you your personality won't scare him off. Now if you sit there and ask every guy you meet if they will marry you or make it a question or the chief topic of your first date I can see how that would scare someone off.
Jun 5th 2013 new
(quote) Andy-896770 said: Well, I'm a Melancholic-Choleric INTJ, so I can answer for being an introvert, although I'm not as shy as most introverts. I find, as far as temperaments go that I may be a little intimidated by a predominantly choleric temperment mainly because my choleric sub-temperament wants to be in control too but my dominant melancholicness takes over and I end up, sometimes resenting the controlling nature of the choleric rather than actually confronting it. On the other hand, however, I tend to get frustrated at the phlegmatic temperament for being too laid back, seemingly lazy and indifferent attitudes and thus do not like when a girl is too shy and takes forever to reply to my messages. I get along well with other melancholics relating to ideas and details, but by far, I am most attracted to the Sanguine temperament who is neither overly controlling like the choleric nor overly shy or unresponsive like the phlegmatic but is just happy, positive and all around friendly and not easily offended.
I hope that helps you understand a little how some introvert guys think. I would probably say that most guys just want to be in control of the relationship so I think as long as you respect the man's leadership role, I think you're good :)
First, I just want to say that when I read Andy's post, my reaction was "Yep! That is me to a 'T'." I was never sure which personality type/s my brother and sister melancholic-cholerics were drawn to, but yeah, I am drawn to sanguines for the reasons Andy describes. Speaking as an INTJ MelanCholeric, I can vouch that his assessment is right on the money.

Anyway, Annie--It probably depends on the guy's temperament as to how they would react. If you're around an introverted person, you might be more comfortable being forthright, as introverts take longer to open up on their own. And then they might find inspiration or the impetus they need in order to open up a little more quickly.
Jun 6th 2013 new
That's really helpful. Thanks. It gives me a good perspective.
Jun 9th 2013 new
Thanks, Michael. I don't think I'm quite that extreme which is good I think. =)
Jun 9th 2013 new
Are men scared away by a woman with short hair -even though that is the style that suits her the best.
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