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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Noemi-900477 said: I know I have done this a few times. Sometimes it gets to be overwhelming when you're still t...
(Quote) Noemi-900477 said:

I know I have done this a few times. Sometimes it gets to be overwhelming when you're still trying to figure yourself out and then you're trying to figure out someone else's intentions, or even your own intentions. And, honestly, I've found it difficult on this website when I'll be talking to one person and getting to know him well and then someone else starts messaging me. In my experience so far on this site, which isn't much, I've noticed that when I'm getting to know one person and I'm interested, I will apparently "rashly" turn down the other men who begin messaging me. It's difficult to try and keep track of getting to know three different guys as "prospects." So I will let them know if I am talking to someone else seriously or something along those lines, and that we can be friends (if this is considered a rash turn down).

--hide--


Usually I know what my intentions are... But I never know what theirs is unless they tell me.. boggled

Mar 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Dave-146273 said: my guess is that this has been done by not only Women but by Men as well. This could be b...
(Quote) Dave-146273 said:

my guess is that this has been done by not only Women but by Men as well. This could be because we develop an image (whether right or wrong) of what we want or what we feel compliments us.

--hide--


David, thank you for adding men as well women do this thumbsup

The same as there are many men who have burnt just as much as women.

Mar 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Joseph-903200 said: Some years ago I had a few dates with a woman and I told one of my friends about her. It turns o...
(Quote) Joseph-903200 said:

Some years ago I had a few dates with a woman and I told one of my friends about her. It turns out that my friend had a coffee date with her before and she had been a total "cold fish" during the date...one word answers...no questions for him...and just stand offish. When I was hanging out with her she seemed really fine but I couldn't get over the fact that she had been like that with my friend. It just seems uncharitable to meet someone for coffee and be like that. And she wasn't the shy type either.

--hide--


Not everyone is going to be everyone elses cup of tea.. Maybe she knew she wasn't interested right away and didn't want him to get the wrong idea that she was.. She probably felt more comfortable with you. Maybe he expected her to be effusive and all over him and when she wasn't he thought she was cold. I am often very reserved and even quiet at a first meeting. Then once you get to know me I become a 'motormouth' laughing

Mar 5th 2013 new
I don't know about anyone being turned down "rashly" here, but I think that some men do not read our profiles carefully.

Having learned at an early age that it is unwise to continue a relationship that I do not have a strong interest in, or even date a gentleman who is not my type, it seems to be better for everyone involved to cut those relationships short, although not rashly, or focus only on men who there is a strong interest in, or it seems that there could be a strong interest.
Mar 5th 2013 new

As uncharitable as this may sound, the "rash" approach can be warranted in quite a few cases. Men who won't take "no" for an answer. Men who show blatant disrespect for the woman by making an indecent proposal. A total creep who won't leave you alone...


And a really big one; a married man who asks out a single woman. A gentle "no" doesn't always cut it.


But if a nice guy is being sincere and the woman just isn't interested, she should use some tact and decline politely.

Mar 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: It is difficult- I know. I think it is worthy of being discussed here. I know I probably ...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



It is difficult- I know. I think it is worthy of being discussed here. I know I probably did. But the problem of social morality has been in the picture from the 60's on and so that did not help me.

I have already had my threads where I put blame on the immoral men and women of society. People REALLY got really upset. I thought maybe this topic might level things out a little...but only a little....

--hide--

People always get upset over morality threads, especially if it cuts too close to a sin they may have or may be committing; or attempting to justify.

Frankly, I think people need to suck it up, put on their big kid pants and face fact. All problems relating to sexuality stems from immoral behaviour. If we can pin point it, call it out, we might at least have a better chance of deailing with it.

There's always goign to be someone, somewhere who gets offended/upset by something. We can't live our lives worrying about offending people with the Truth. Christ didn't.

The topic at hand of fobbing guys off can in part stem from levels of morality, or immorality. But then it can be based in other more obvious situations, like time, career prospects, moving cities. Maybe one of the many scum bags I've told to sod off could have turned out to be a strong warrior of God if I'd had a second coffee date? Who knows? Well, other than God, that is.

Boils down to first impressions. Some [who am I kidding, most] guys take one look at me and my shapely psyique and are like "nah", I take one look at guys who talk about their sexual conquests and I'm like "nah".

Do I lie awake at night thinking "Oh, if only I'd given pervert X another chance to wow me"? No. I don't.

End of the day, we have to make descisions that we think are right for us in that moment, hindsight will lend itself to whether we made the right choice, but by then, we really can't do anything. Best we can hope for is having a bit of experience from the experience and knowing what it is that is important to us in choosing the right chap.

Mar 5th 2013 new

So that's why Selma Hayek won't return my calls.?!? eyepopping

Mar 5th 2013 new

Very well said Lawrence!

Mar 5th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Not everyone is going to be everyone elses cup of tea.. Maybe she knew she wasn't...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


Not everyone is going to be everyone elses cup of tea.. Maybe she knew she wasn't interested right away and didn't want him to get the wrong idea that she was.. She probably felt more comfortable with you. Maybe he expected her to be effusive and all over him and when she wasn't he thought she was cold. I am often very reserved and even quiet at a first meeting. Then once you get to know me I become a 'motormouth'

--hide--



Knowing my friend he didn't have heavy expectations but that being said I may have been a bit too hard on her nobody is perfect.

I just find bad manners to be a turnoff. I think regardless of whether you are attracted to somebody or not you should strive to treat everyone with respect.

Mar 5th 2013 new
(Quote) Tom-54311 said: So that's why Selma Hayek won't return my calls.?!?
(Quote) Tom-54311 said:

So that's why Selma Hayek won't return my calls.?!?

--hide--
You had the wrong number!
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