Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match!

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: See, that kind of thing burns me up.
Who is she that she gets to decide unilaterally that it won't do...without giving you a real reason?
She's somebody rather special, and she was trying to spare my feelings. I know her well enough to know that is why she didn't come right out and give me an explicit reason. I didn't make a point of asking, either, because I know that nothing she could say would make it hurt less. It would be no relief to hear she has decided that the religious vocation is for her. It also wouldn't make me feel better to hear that she found someone closer, or that I am very awesome but just not physically attractive to her.

No, hearing her reason wouldn't make me feel any better. I'm not sure if it'd give me closure, even. It might help a bit on that. It's possible she's just running away from a good thing she doesn't feel worthy of, though.

But that other girl who just blocked me for no reason -- that girl was just insensitive. At least this one had the class to actually confront me and say goodbye. That is a mature way to handle it, and honestly, I just want to be there for her as best I can, Marge.
May 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Gary-936836 said: She's somebody rather special, and she was trying to spare my feelings. I know her well enough to know that is why she didn't come right out and give me an explicit reason. I didn't make a point of asking, either, because I know that nothing she could say would make it hurt less. It would be no relief to hear she has decided that the religious vocation is for her. It also wouldn't make me feel better to hear that she found someone closer, or that I am very awesome but just not physically attractive to her.

No, hearing her reason wouldn't make me feel any better. I'm not sure if it'd give me closure, even. It might help a bit on that. It's possible she's just running away from a good thing she doesn't feel worthy of, though.

But that other girl who just blocked me for no reason -- that girl was just insensitive. At least this one had the class to actually confront me and say goodbye. That is a mature way to handle it, and honestly, I just want to be there for her as best I can, Marge.
Sorry to hear that, Gary...

It reminds me of someone I had to turn down after a few months of dating him. He's really a nice guy and my family likes him and thought I made a mistake. But it was more painful for me to see him so hopeful but I, unfortunately, only see him as a friend only.

Before we dated, I actually turned him down as I know I see him only as a friend, however good he is. But he was too persistent until I finally gave him a chance. But 5 months and my feelings still didnt change.

He was so hurt, and I cried not because I love him, but because I pity him that I turned him down twice. But however painful it was, I had to tell or he'd be more hurt. He asked for reasons, and another chance, and I had to tell him the truth and a No.

Since then, if I really don't feel any chemistry with someone, or there is no connection, I turn them down as nicely as I can.

Of course, it's different when the guy is too persistent, rude or something... you really have to turn them down up front.

But on the lighter side, being turned down is true to both men and women. I've had one or two man who did, and their reason is they are not good enough for me. LOL the nicest way to tell a lady! :)
May 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Lesil-840134 said: Sorry to hear that, Gary...

It reminds me of someone I had to turn down after a few months of dating him. He's really a nice guy and my family likes him and thought I made a mistake. But it was more painful for me to see him so hopeful but I, unfortunately, only see him as a friend only.

Before we dated, I actually turned him down as I know I see him only as a friend, however good he is. But he was too persistent until I finally gave him a chance. But 5 months and my feelings still didnt change.

He was so hurt, and I cried not because I love him, but because I pity him that I turned him down twice. But however painful it was, I had to tell or he'd be more hurt. He asked for reasons, and another chance, and I had to tell him the truth and a No.

Since then, if I really don't feel any chemistry with someone, or there is no connection, I turn them down as nicely as I can.

Of course, it's different when the guy is too persistent, rude or something... you really have to turn them down up front.

But on the lighter side, being turned down is true to both men and women. I've had one or two man who did, and their reason is they are not good enough for me. LOL the nicest way to tell a lady! :)
Man, I don't envy your position (or the position of the young lady I talked to) in this situation at all. Saying no to someone who is a wonderful person is probably very hard. As hard as it is to say "no", at least you gave him a chance. I don't honestly know if that works better or worse in the long run, but I personally feel better when given a chance and turned down after a week or two than when I am outright rejected.

I think it's personal preference, because there may be good reasons to say that giving a friend who likes you a chance to date you may mean losing that friend if it doesn't work out. But for me, I generally resent a female friend who turns me down without giving me a chance. At least, sometimes. Mostly that was in my past, when I was more self-centered. I'm fortunate that I've had some good friends, especially in the past three years, who were extremely gracious. I've had one friend who turned me down (outright, because she had a boyfriend already and I didn't know that when I asked), she turned me down in such a gracious way that I actually felt better about myself. Lord bless and keep her -- she married that guy she was dating at the time. He is a lucky man, to be sure.
May 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Gary-936836 said: It's possible she's just running away from a good thing she doesn't feel worthy of, though.
I would put my money on that explanation, kiddo. hug
May 22nd 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: I would put my money on that explanation, kiddo.
I hope so. I'd take her back if she stopped running.
May 22nd 2013 new
Hey Marian- you pegged me..I'm immature and scared. Seriously! I'm not being sarcastic or snarky here! I think I definitely run away... Granted, now is the only time where I've felt like I should/could explore marriage as a possibility. University and religious vocation tend to tie up one's mind a bit at the time..
Posts 71 - 76 of 76