I agree that the problems began before the NO was introduced. Obviously the NO didn't come out of nowhere. The new Mass wasn't exactly welcomed with open arms at Vatican II, with many opposed and many others approving but with reservations. All we can do now is look at the result of it all. Most of what we see at NO now are abuses that were never intended to happen. And speaking only from personal experience (I've heard of the NO being offered reverently but have never witnessed it personally) when I go to the NO I see attire appropriate for a dance club (if even then), people chattering, chewing gum, long lines for communion but no one at Confession, girls and women on the altar, guitars and tamborines, etc... and when I'm at the TLM I see respect and reverence, the priest facing God instead of the people, appropriate dress and modesty, long lines for Confession and homilies that actually mention the word sin. Here's a link to a great article by The Most Reverend Athanasius Schneider about what happens at the new Mass vs. what is actually supposed to happen:
I am sure that when the TLM was first introduced, it too was not welcomed with open arms by everyone. The NO was not introduced at Vatican II. But Paul VI called for the revision of the Mass in an attempt to make the Mass more meaningful and accessible to the Faithful as called for by Vatican II. I can agree that it is has failed in that.
Long before you were born and before Vatican II, people complained constantly, despite the ready accessibility and relatively inexpensive costs of missals to overcome the problem, that because the Mass was in Latin they had no idea what was going on. They fervently complained about the priest facing away from them so that they felt remote from him and the Mass.
The simple fact is that when the complaints were met, the people found they they still did not understand what was going on. They left in droves many to go to Protestant churches or worse, because their services were more emotionally fulfilling, despite the fact that they lack substance.
Long before you were born, I attended thousands of masses now referred to as TLMs. The reverance displayed ranged from excellent to even worse than I see now at NO masses.
But all that aside, don't forget, the Mass in early Christian times was celebrated in private homes. The celebrant faced the people women sat at the dinner table. Music came along later but when first introduced reflected the music of the day with Christian words, just like the "folk masses"of our day were an attempt to relate the music to people today. The celebrants wore no special vestments. They wore their everyday clothes, which today's vestments resemble. There were no special chalices, etc. Everyday eating utensils, cups and dishes were used.
More formal forms of the Mass and vestments developed only after Constantine made it legal to practice Christianity.
All that aside, the abuses you see, and whether you have seen them or not they also exist in TLM masses, arise solely from individuals, both priest and laity, and not from the form of the Mass. A good part of them arise from the general culture as it exists today. Less formal dress, lack of manners, etc..
About the time you were born, no women worthy of the name would appear dressed as they do today to go to the mall or "downtown" to shop, wearing a hat and gloves. My Dad, who could have been your great Grandfather, always wore a suit and tie. The suit jacket only came off in the house but never his ties until he went to bed. He would even do garden work that way, without the suit jacket of course. Today he would be considered a nut case.
Those changes are cultural and not the result of the NO.