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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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My subscription is coming to an end, and I'm not sure to renew or not. I have had one date in the 6months I have been here. Further, I still love my ex very much and I can't shake the feeling that I will for awhile- he was my first serious boyfriend. I am thinking I will just leave CM a bit and beg for him back ashamed I really thought maybe I'd meet someone who could help me get over him, someone who would like to romance a little. I don't need a lot, I've never received jewelry or flowers, I don't expect good morning txts or birthday cards, or candlelit dinners- just someone who likes adventure, and goes to church, who wants to make me smile and would trust me to raise his children. I don't understand why it's so hard for me...before my ex, I hadn't had a single date in 7 years, I don't get it boggled I used to be confident, but the last few years I feel so...not confident. So, yeah, I'm thinking about asking (more like begging) for him back, which would require me to lose about 50lbs- those were his terms when we broke up almost a year ago.

I really wish things were different for me- I don't want to give up on him, but I also don't want to give up on the hope that maybe I deserve better. I don't know what to do...my subscription ends in one week surprised

P.S. getting upset about my anxiety over this makes me feel like a stupid little girl.. embarassed

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: My subscription is coming to an end, and I'm not sure to renew or not. I have had one date in ...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:

My subscription is coming to an end, and I'm not sure to renew or not. I have had one date in the 6months I have been here. Further, I still love my ex very much and I can't shake the feeling that I will for awhile- he was my first serious boyfriend. I am thinking I will just leave CM a bit and beg for him back I really thought maybe I'd meet someone who could help me get over him, someone who would like to romance a little. I don't need a lot, I've never received jewelry or flowers, I don't expect good morning txts or birthday cards, or candlelit dinners- just someone who likes adventure, and goes to church, who wants to make me smile and would trust me to raise his children. I don't understand why it's so hard for me...before my ex, I hadn't had a single date in 7 years, I don't get it I used to be confident, but the last few years I feel so...not confident. So, yeah, I'm thinking about asking (more like begging) for him back, which would require me to lose about 50lbs- those were his terms when we broke up almost a year ago.

I really wish things were different for me- I don't want to give up on him, but I also don't want to give up on the hope that maybe I deserve better. I don't know what to do...my subscription ends in one week

P.S. getting upset about my anxiety over this makes me feel like a stupid little girl..

--hide--

Mary begging someone to have a relationship is not a healthy start to a relationship. I hope you can find peace and strength in yourself through God.

Mar 7th 2013 new

Wow, do you really love someone who would demand that you do that? Really?

That to me means he is shallow, and what will he do when you have a baby? Leave you?

Mary, you are a lovely girl--if you want to lose 50 pounds, then do it, but don't do it because some man requires it of you.

Praying hug

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Al-939544 said: Mary begging someone to have a relationship is not a healthy start to a relationship. I hop...
(Quote) Al-939544 said:

Mary begging someone to have a relationship is not a healthy start to a relationship. I hope you can find peace and strength in yourself through God.

--hide--


It wouldn't be a start, we dated for about 2 years and we still see each other every month currently. He treats me like a girlfriend still, kisses my hand/face/neck etc, and likes to be close/cuddle, hold hands- but he is seeing another girl currently, telling her we're just friends- which I hate. I just feel like I can't be as emotionally close to anyone else...nobody else has tried, but I can't imagine it..

I'm hoping I won't have to beg boggled he gives me such mixed signals, one week he says "I could never be happy with you again" the next week he says "I miss what we had" one day he tells me I'm an annoyance, the next he says he doesn't know what he'd do without me. He gives me eskimo kisses and brushes our lips together, but the next moment tells me he's happy being single. The mixed signals give me hope and sadness at the same time...

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Wow, do you really love someone who would demand that you do that? Really? That to me means he...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Wow, do you really love someone who would demand that you do that? Really?

That to me means he is shallow, and what will he do when you have a baby? Leave you?

Mary, you are a lovely girl--if you want to lose 50 pounds, then do it, but don't do it because some man requires it of you.

--hide--


Thank you :3 I do want to do it for myself, it was really after I started my diet last month that I thought "kill 2 birds with one stone?"
I don't know why I love him, I just know I do, it's ridiculous I know, I have for years. I have always had so much more self-respect than this boggled but it's not like he's physically abusive or anything, there are so many people who could have it worse, and if the weight truly is the only issue..I have to know if it is or isn't, prove him right or wrong, not knowing is killing me....

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Wow, do you really love someone who would demand that you do that? Really? That to me means he...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Wow, do you really love someone who would demand that you do that? Really?

That to me means he is shallow, and what will he do when you have a baby? Leave you?

Mary, you are a lovely girl--if you want to lose 50 pounds, then do it, but don't do it because some man requires it of you.

--hide--


oh and about the baby thing: he thinks big ole preganant bellies are incredibly sexy, so that wouldn't be a problem...post-baby weight might though.

Mar 7th 2013 new

Mary, my heart goes out to you, I am so sorry that you are involved in this and thinking this way.

If you want to "improve" yourself anyway, sure, if it motivates you to think that you can present your skinny self to him, and say, okay here I am, I fulfilled your "requirement" I still love you, now what?"

And if that is all that was ever an issue, know that you will be joining yourself to a man that is probably a might shallow, and that you will have ot make being skinny your top priority or you will be in this same place again, and maybe married to him.

But also be prepared that he still is not going to want to be with you, saying something awful to you like you were too heavy was just the really mean excuse he decided to use.

But as you say, then you know for sure, and finding someone else will be the best "revenge".

I would counsel you to be more guarded of your self with him--why let a man touch or kiss you, if you are just his 'friend?' He is keeping his options open, or even taking advantage of the fact that he knows you love him still.

I get it about not knowing why you love someone, but love is a feeling, and you can control what you do about what you feel.

Protect your heart, my dear Mary! Praying

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: ...he gives me such mixed signals...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said: ...he gives me such mixed signals...
--hide--



Those are not mixed signals dear. Moreover, he has a girlfriend and is stringing you along all at the same time. No matter what you do, he will find another reason to reject you - and repeat the same pattern. You deserve better than this. You are better than this. Cowgirl up and tell him so. Then move down the road to better things. You are wasting precious time on a non-relationship.

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-583970 said: It wouldn't be a start, we dated for about 2 years and we still see each other every m...
(Quote) Mary-583970 said:



It wouldn't be a start, we dated for about 2 years and we still see each other every month currently. He treats me like a girlfriend still, kisses my hand/face/neck etc, and likes to be close/cuddle, hold hands- but he is seeing another girl currently, telling her we're just friends- which I hate. I just feel like I can't be as emotionally close to anyone else...nobody else has tried, but I can't imagine it..

I'm hoping I won't have to beg he gives me such mixed signals, one week he says "I could never be happy with you again" the next week he says "I miss what we had" one day he tells me I'm an annoyance, the next he says he doesn't know what he'd do without me. He gives me eskimo kisses and brushes our lips together, but the next moment tells me he's happy being single. The mixed signals give me hope and sadness at the same time...

--hide--
He knows exactly what he's doing to you and it is cruel. No woman should be treated like that. I think you are more afraid of being single than you are in love with him and that is the reason you can't get over him. Do NOT beg him to take you back. He will have you under his shoe for the rest of your relationship if he takes you back under those conditions. Seriously, stay far away from him.

Mar 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Beverly-936499 said: Those are not mixed signals dear. Moreover, he has a girlfriend and is stringing yo...
(Quote) Beverly-936499 said:




Those are not mixed signals dear. Moreover, he has a girlfriend and is stringing you along all at the same time. No matter what you do, he will find another reason to reject you - and repeat the same pattern. You deserve better than this. You are better than this. Cowgirl up and tell him so. Then move down the road to better things. You are wasting precious time on a non-relationship.

--hide--

I did cowgirl up and told him so when I broke up with him- ehhh, it didn't really work for me...it's just gotten worse..

And she's not his girlfriend, they haven't even held hands or anything, just gone on 3 dates and TXT each other some (we dated for 8months before a first kiss- he moves slow). He's not sure he wants to keep seeing her, I was thinking of talking to him about this if he decides to stop seeing her...I am scared of the same pattern happening, but I can be very patient. Of all my friends I see who have married men who won't allow them to drive, who hit them, who emotionally abuse their kids, or had arranged marriages or otherwise aren't close at all....I have so many friends like that, and they make it work- I think I could definitely make this work, I just wish I didn't have to be proactive one.

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