Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Wow! Talk about a lot of interesting opinions! Sorry I am not a guy weighing in but here are my two cents:
I think it is important first of all to always remember that to God all of His children are beautiful and unique be they extroverts or introverts.
I try and use the temperament test as a guideline rather than the rule, it can help you but it can also hinder your search depending on how letter of the law you are about adhere to what temperaments work together. God knows who you are looking for it is important not to try and outrun His timing.
Also sometimes, you just have to keep trying. My older brother (he is sanguine/choleric) dated about 10 different women before he met his wife. He knows a lot of good catholic women. :) Keep looking you will get there.
Basic identifying question when looking for melancholics? Do people drain your energy or are you energized by being around them often? I love going to parties, meeting new people, hanging out with friends, etc. but I tend to reach a certain point when I need peace and quiet to recharge my batteries.
With regards to sanguines or choleric thinking we melancholics are extinct know this: it can be hard for them to understand just how much quiet time we need in our day to day lives. It is really good for us to get out and be with other people, to volunteer, to intereact with other people but sometimes it can be difficult to work up the energy and motivation - we are very creative about keeping ourselves amused and engaged be it with music, books, studying, work etc.
On a slightly different note Naomi, I really enjoyed reading your posts. My older sister went to school with some of the band members of Scythian.
Sorry this is so long!
It's funny, I too, score as melancholic/phlegmatic no matter how many times I take the test. :P
We change as we grow and experience life. So it would be interesting to see how our temperments came out if we took the "test" at a different stage in our lives. I'm almost positive mine would be different from when I was 25, 40, or even just before my husband died.
Perhaps it is because we tend not to be so outspoken and involved in tons of activities that makes phlegs and mels seem extinct? We do tend to stay in the background. after reviewing several sources, the consensus seems to be thathe author of that melancholics actually comprise the majority of the population at about 40%, then Sangines at about second most common, then phlegmatics, and finally cholerics at about 10%. Your input is spot on, Maura! Perseverence is the key for all of us, and I think it something that really doesn't come naturally to any of the temperaments.
As far as one's temperament changing...I have changed a ton in the past 5 years, and some of my old friends would say I'm an entirely different person. However, I continue to test the same on the temperament test. I don't think temperaments change...I kind of see them as a constant with which one is born and you do with it what you can to glorify God. Character may morph from one into the next throughout challenges and experiences, but temperament is something that God gave us to make us even more unique and is our knee jerk reaction to things, presenting unique challenges and crosses to us all.
St. Therese was one of the most mild mannered saints we have ever had, earning for herself the name of "Little Flower ," yet as a child she was definitely choleric, headstrong to the core. Did her temperament change? If you read her Story of a Soul, I think you see that she is the same as ever, but she battles her own self-will constantly so that the outward visage is a very different story. In "The Temperament God Gave You," the Bennets point out that as a person grows in holiness it is more and more difficult to discern their temperament. Christ, it has long been beleived, was the perfection of all the temperaments, having perfectly all four of them. That's an interesting idea to ponder! As a phlegmatic sangine, I have often wished myself more melancholic or choleric just so I can get things done! ;-)
Second guessing what we have said=phlegmatic.
Over thinking this whole situation=Melancholic.
Just saying. ;-)
I just checked back in on this conversation and was surprised to see where it's gone. Lol! Naomi, you hit the nail on the head! I used to be melancholic-phlegmatic, then phlegmatic-melancholic, now I'm phelgmatic-sanguine... I just keep mellowing out. I tend not to overthink things anymore. Now if I could just stop second-guessing myself...
Also, I feel like I keep running into melancholic-phlegmatics on this site. I was wondering where the sanguine people were! It's weird that we keep running into the people more like us...
Since I am melancholic-phlegmatic, that is my preference in meeting someone. Maybe that's part of my personality, but I would like to understand my future wife and I'm not sure that I could if she was very extroverted.
Like they say, opposites may attract, but two of a kind make a stronger team