Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
Many of the saints wrote about temperaments; St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Francis de Sales, St. Theresa of Avila to name a few. St. Augustine says "know thyself".
This doesn't mean that one "label" is not compatible with another different "label". What turned it into hogwash is modern day pop psychology.
I have wondered if the questions weren't a little too vague. Honestly, 90% being choleric would not be an exaggeration! Having read what I've read, and knowing myself as I do, mine seems bang on. Perhaps they are a little more useful when the indicate a dramatic personality tendency... I'm 78% sanguine and I definitely am sanguine - I ask strangers for their opinion in the grocery store when I'm choosing vegtables!
Would you say that you are Sanguine and choleric? When you get different results, do you ever flip from Sanguine-Choleric to one of those and either Melancholic or Phlegmatic?
Theodoric, most of the personality Tests and questions given these days are designed that way. There are multiple questions asking the same question but in different ways to narrow down certain traits. Most people have 2 dominant Traits, which is what you see in the results. If you've ever had an Eye exam where you're looking through that device and while changing the lens the Optometrist asks; better A or better B, back and forth till he/she gets the right prescription, these Tests follow the same pattern. The tests are pretty acurate but can also change somewhat as a person grows older and if they change their behavior from life experiences.
I'm the melancholic & phlegmatic type according to the temperament test, but I take the test with a grain of salt. Some of the descriptions it gives really are not accurate. I think finding the right person can be difficult, but I believe it is possible. I believe it is something that, for me at least, is going to take a lot of patience but is going to be well worth it. I think it is true that opposites can attract, but I don't think it has to be the case all the time.
I'm rather sanguine myself - fun and spontaneous, silly even. I also have a touch of choleric. It's an occupational hazard. Despite my outwardly forward traits, my father told me that I should seek a woman that is gentle and soft. He felt that I would respond well to her expressions of emotions her softness with fuel my romantic inclinations. He once told me that I should seek a girl that blushes
I initially got into the temperaments in order to help me understand members of my family who boggled my mind...especially my mother. While it is never good to label others as we all have traits of every temperament, it is good to at least have a general idea of the way another person thinks and communicates in any relationship. We all label poeple we work with pretty quickly and try to adjust to give them what they want.
Yes, Theodoric, women today are taught that it is a virtue to be strong, stalwart, and robust in a very masculine way. It is quite difficult for us to cultivate these virtues and incorporate them in a feminie way so as to add to our gracefulness rather than compromise it. Please note, though, that the holier/more developed a person becomes, it is harder and harder to tell their temperament because they have challenged their weaknesses and overcome some of them. A famous example is St. Therese, who was quite the spit fire choleric, and yet later in life would have seemed to be a phlegmatic to the extreme. It's hard to be a woman in today's world, but if you are a real man and hold doors and pray every day and pick up the tab and all that you will find one soon enough.
Einstein said that doing the same thing over agian in the same way and expecting a different result is insanity. Perhaps just start talking to a different kind of girl on here and just see where it goes. The other thing is that melancholics and phlegmatics tend to hide themselves a bit, be more demure, so you have to work a bit harder to get them to come out of themselves. Sanguines and cholerics (like yourself) tend to show off everything about themselves.
Hope that helps!
It is important to remember that the survey is designed to identify GENERAL personality leanings. As stated at the survey start, answer the questions with your gut instinct, and not by what seems to be the "right answer" to get the best results. That said, reading the 'compare temperaments' section is useful as how best to interact with that personality type. It seems that there are certain combo's such as completely the same, or polar opposites which may suggest extra patience is needed, but overall, can still result in a successful relationship. My impression from reading these comparisons is that having one same trait, and one different trait keeps things both interesting and compatable.
The most important factor, however, is love! Love does not care about temperament tests. It strikes not when we want, but when we least expect, and is truely like an arrow slung into our hearts (it gets stuck there!).
Have you read Fulton Sheen's Three to get Married?? www.ewtn.com
So a search and read after the paragraph that begins:
The third cause of love, besides goodness and knowledge, is similarity. This is a denial of the oft-repeated axiom that "opposites attract." Opposites do attract, but only superficially. Tall men marry short girls; fast talkers marry good listeners; and tyrants marry Milquetoasts. But in a more profound way, it is not unlikeness but likeness which attracts.
I've thought about this long and hard... curious what you think?
I find that when I am talking to someone who is my same temperament I get really frustrated with the same weakenesses I know that are a problem for me, like difficulty in making a decision..(Try taking me to a restaurant that has an 8 page menu) or procrastination in getting tasks done.. right now I should be working on a custom order necklace, but I'm in the other room on the computer..
We should find someone that complements our strengths and weaknesses..
I always felt like I was Choleric - perhaps because it's a strong personality trait. In University I took a course on negotiation and the was an Emotional Quoitent test. Before we took it our classmates assessed our personalities. I said I was Choleric. EVERYONE in the class said I was Sanguine! Sure enough, that's what every test I've ever taken has indicated.