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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Cliff-924625 said: Interesting topic and many thanks for sharing the various comments. My 1st reaction is the...
(Quote) Cliff-924625 said:

Interesting topic and many thanks for sharing the various comments.

My 1st reaction is the concept of "dump".

I think there's a very strong negative impression attached to it - the act of breaking up or point of no return.

"Dump" maybe a blessing in disguise. Only God knows as we probably realizes it later on.

It's can be a positive or negative perception and the appropriateness of how we "break-up" reflects the personality in us.

Whatever mode of delivery it's going to be disappointment and hurt involved to one or both parties.

Basic courtesy rules here by acknowledging the fact that the progress is not well and there's indifferences for both.

Be sensitive on how you would deliver your "break-up" message if you are the initiator.

Be positive that the dating/relationship ends by whatever means if you are the receiver and be thankful that it didn't

dragged on. That's my 2cents worth.

The short or long time spent in communicating between both parties deserve some respect.

Let's try to live as civilized people and adopt good courtesy - don't disrespect yourself by doing awful acts to others.

On the other hand people make mistakes all the time and so be forgiving too.

--hide--

Cliff, first, let me say, Welcome to CM! We are delighted to have you here! And, I'm open to using another verb. I'd gladly eliminate "dump." Any suggestions?

Mar 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: What if you date for a long time? or you had lots of romantic dinners or dates? The w...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:




What if you date for a long time? or you had lots of romantic dinners or dates? The whole thing is sad-

I can see preferring the phone- I had an icky break up type conversation with a guy about two years back and I think phone was better. (We never got very close and we did nto express romance directly..It never blossomed..so it was icky...just as it was..) Seeing him a day later at my group so dejected even though he rejected me was so painful. I hated all of it-- JUST HATED IT. (We were both really keyed up. Now I practically ignore him.) I don't hold it aginst him. I was hurt for many many months. Now I just do not care one bit. I have pushed it with force-- out of my mind I still see him as (less than or equal to) a friend. I had to knock him off of the high pedestal in my mind in order to heal. I had built him up quite high onto a pedestal. Now he is just down here on the ground like a regular guy with mistakes and foibles, has done some faux pas, and has fallabilities and faults.

--hide--

Marian, I'm a lot happier if we can part friends. I find it really disturbing if there are hurt feelings going forward.

Mar 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-25961 said: I can say on the phone depending the distant would be something to do out of necessity. Dat...
(Quote) Mary-25961 said:



I can say on the phone depending the distant would be something to do out of necessity. Dating someone for a period of time and being "dumped" over the phone and worse by email and the absolutely worst text shows that there was no sensitivity or care to the other person's feeling and engagng in a conversation as to why the relationship is over and bringing closure. You have brought out a good point why people are being more distant and not entering into the feelings of another by the new generation (I don't mean any specific age but rather the time we are in now) as to talking and caring of another's feelings and not what is quick and easy for the person that is doing "dumping."

--hide--

Mary, it's my concern for the other party's feelings that caused me to ask in the first place. I've had fairly good rapport with CM folks. However, I am a bit troubled by how things were left with another gent. This being Lent and all, I am eager to clear up all my accounts!

Mar 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Lisa-572677 said: Mary, it's my concern for the other party's feelings that caused me to ask in the...
(Quote) Lisa-572677 said:

Mary, it's my concern for the other party's feelings that caused me to ask in the first place. I've had fairly good rapport with CM folks. However, I am a bit troubled by how things were left with another gent. This being Lent and all, I am eager to clear up all my accounts!

--hide--

Your heart is in the right place, Lisa! hug

Unfortunately, some things will never end well, emotions are too raw. All we can hope is for hindsite to show us that the end of the relationship was inevitable, and parting ways was for the best.

Mar 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Lisa-572677 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: What if you date for a long time? or...
(Quote) Lisa-572677 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:




What if you date for a long time? or you had lots of romantic dinners or dates? The whole thing is sad-

I can see preferring the phone- I had an icky break up type conversation with a guy about two years back and I think phone was better. (We never got very close and we did nto express romance directly..It never blossomed..so it was icky...just as it was..) Seeing him a day later at my group so dejected even though he rejected me was so painful. I hated all of it-- JUST HATED IT. (We were both really keyed up. Now I practically ignore him.) I don't hold it aginst him. I was hurt for many many months. Now I just do not care one bit. I have pushed it with force-- out of my mind I still see him as (less than or equal to) a friend. I had to knock him off of the high pedestal in my mind in order to heal. I had built him up quite high onto a pedestal. Now he is just down here on the ground like a regular guy with mistakes and foibles, has done some faux pas, and has fallabilities and faults.


Marian, I'm a lot happier if we can part friends. I find it really disturbing if there are hurt feelings going forward.

--hide--


Me too. I am almost always friends with a guy afterward. I don't like the other way. I need peace.

I like to try to return things to friends too.

Mar 12th 2013 new

Hi Lisa,

Hopefully it's neutral.

Seeking new perspective separately.

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