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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Thanks Marge and Donna, but I don't agree. When these sort of posts are in the general dis...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Thanks Marge and Donna, but I don't agree.

When these sort of posts are in the general discussion rooms, you get all kinds of dissent, people calling you judgmental for being chaste/wanting someone who is chaste, and just like the Widowed room does not want people who don't know their experience commenting on/telling them what to do/expounding on what they don't have first hand experience with, this would be a place where those who wish to be chaste can speak freely and get support.

So that is why I stated this suggestion here.

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I agree wholeheartedly with Pat on the need for an anonymous room for that type of support. Chastity is not a private issue it is a community issue that affects the body of Christ. I think to protect individual privacy the suggestion of anonymity is a fantastic suggestion. No room here provides that so the claim of redundancy is not applicable at all. I agree that when people who want to live a chaste life and seek support post in the forums as saddening as it is it is often met with derision and claims of the person thinking that they are better than someone else. However even those who desire to be chaste need support and help from our community. In CM's mission to raise up holy couples the encouragement of chastity and support for chastity cannot be left out.

I also understand and agree that the naysayers will still be able to post rude things in that room but the anonymity will still allow the person to post and receive some form of support and suggestions from those who truly desire to help. Who would want to post their struggles with chastity if their name could be tied to it.

One time in college a priest was saying that Satan gains power in sins of the flesh as they are often shaming sins that people keep hidden and therefore cannot receive healing and support from. Hence they become more ingrained and more firmly rooted in the souls of the just. By putting them in the light we are giving ourselves a chance to be free from them.

I understand where Brian is coming from but I also urge you to consider the scope of the mission of CM and how that small addition of a room may change many lives and families. Thanks in advance for not dismissing it without thorough consideration and prayer. I will be praying that God opens a way for you to do it because IT IS NEEDED.

I also think that it will also give the naysayers more exposure to posts on chastity and may bring issues in their lives and see how they are hurting their relationships to light. Basically a win win for the Church, families and souls. What is our mission if it is not to bring souls closer to Christ? What is our mission if we dismiss the attempt to bring souls closer to holiness because it is hard? Even if only one soul was won because of it, wouldn't it be worth it? Christ came to earth and died and would have done it if only for one soul.

rosary Praying Praying rosary

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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: True, it is a private issue which is ripping the Church apart from within. But Je...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

True, it is a private issue which is ripping the Church apart from within.

But Jerry is right. The reason that people don't want to discuss such things is because of the judgmental attitudes of our well meaning compatriots. For some reason, if someone says "I struggle with this," someone else comes in a says "well that is silly. I can't see why anyone would do that!" and basically it is all downhill from there.

I think it is something that members should discuss privately. If you need general support/help, the mens/womens forums are good for that.

--hide--


Maybe the womens room should make it more a point to discuss the issue, in a special ongoing thread?
I agree that it is a private issue which is ripping the church apart from within..

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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: (Quote) Pat-5351 said: From another post, it gave me the idea that CM nee...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Quote:
Pat-5351 said:

From another post, it gave me the idea that CM needs a Chastity "support" forum.

This is a serious issue for single Catholics, for those who are trying to live purely, and feel no support from the secular world.

It could be a tool for education, for those who have not yet been a victor in the struggle, and where people could ask for help and answers and prayers.

While I could see it possibly needing some rules about how to word posts, and parameters for the tone of such conversations, I think some people would find it very helpful and edifying.

Maybe if there could be a way to post anonymously in such a room as well.

Just something to think about.




Hi Pat! I find the idea of an anonymous chastity forum very interesting. The only issue I see there is that those who tend toward judgment may find the anonymity more freeing, as well. Hence, I'm sure, your statement about rules. Chelle

--hide--


I agree with you Chelle- Persons who judge may feel more freedom to do so anonymously.

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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I agree with you Chelle- Persons who judge may feel more freedom to do so anonymously.
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



I agree with you Chelle- Persons who judge may feel more freedom to do so anonymously.

--hide--

But the anonymity will still protect the poster and make it easier to ignore the judgements.

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Mar 17th 2013 new
Sorry, I didn't mean to be judgmental about the idea. If so many others struggle with the issue, then maybe it would be a good idea.

Currently, I do not struggle with this issue at all. If anyone would ridicule me about chastity, it would be more likely to be someone who is not a practicing Catholic.
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Mar 17th 2013 new
(Quote) Pat-5351 said: If we all wanted to be chaste, everyone would answer yes to that question in the _/7 questions, and as we sadly kno...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

If we all wanted to be chaste, everyone would answer yes to that question in the _/7 questions, and as we sadly know to be true, many people don't answer that affirmatively.



I have noticed people not being supportive on this issue, and the conversation devolving down into others calling posters "judgmental" for wanting to live a holy and pure life, etc.



Who needs that?



--hide--


actually---if people dont just at questions like the' infallibility' of the pope they may say no to that question.we know that the pope is only infallible in a very narrow set of circumstances. I can see people being 'chaste' and not necessarily saying yes to all 7 questions.
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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: I agree with you Chelle- Persons who ju...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



I agree with you Chelle- Persons who judge may feel more freedom to do so anonymously.


But the anonymity will still protect the poster and make it easier to ignore the judgements.

--hide--



You may have a great point, I have seen persons fling very abusive remarks to people who are trying to stay pure, on the other hand I have seen and experienced great support from people here. I have seen a lot of meanness on the forums in my time here. I have been here a long time. It is not my intent to argue either side of this, just discuss it a little. I guess it will be up to admin to decide how to use the suggestion. The anonymous presentation might save face for most posters who want such a thread/room/opportunity.

But those of us who have been here a long time have witnessed some posters fighting for the idea that porn is ok for example. Still, hiding our light under a bushel is not necessarily the way to build up the body of Christ and using the forums to grow together in a sense of resolve to fight temptations that are being forced on us from all sides, might be a real effective and purposeful ministry.

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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: You may have a great point, I have seen persons fling very abusive remarks to people ...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:




You may have a great point, I have seen persons fling very abusive remarks to people who are trying to stay pure, on the other hand I have seen and experienced great support from people here. I have seen a lot of meanness on the forums in my time here. I have been here a long time. It is not my intent to argue either side of this, just discuss it a little. I guess it will be up to admin to decide how to use the suggestion. The anonymous presentation might save face for most posters who want such a thread/room/opportunity.

But those of us who have been here a long time have witnessed some posters fighting for the idea that porn is ok for example. Still, hiding our light under a bushel is not necessarily the way to build up the body of Christ and using the forums to grow together in a sense of resolve to fight temptations that are being forced on us from all sides, might be a real effective and purposeful ministry.

--hide--

Well said Marian and I think that more than just a dating site, CM is a Catholic ministry as well.

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Mar 17th 2013 new
(Quote) Marian-83994 said: You may have a great point, I have seen persons fling very abusive remarks to people who are tryin...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:




You may have a great point, I have seen persons fling very abusive remarks to people who are trying to stay pure, on the other hand I have seen and experienced great support from people here. I have seen a lot of meanness on the forums in my time here. I have been here a long time. It is not my intent to argue either side of this, just discuss it a little. I guess it will be up to admin to decide how to use the suggestion. The anonymous presentation might save face for most posters who want such a thread/room/opportunity.

But those of us who have been here a long time have witnessed some posters fighting for the idea that porn is ok for example. Still, hiding our light under a bushel is not necessarily the way to build up the body of Christ and using the forums to grow together in a sense of resolve to fight temptations that are being forced on us from all sides, might be a real effective and purposeful ministry.

--hide--


there is a bit of abuse from some people giving their 'opinions' about what is a mortal sin and what is not--so its not just one way.throwing the term 'mortal sin' around willy nilly is just as bad or worse than some people saying that porn is ok. WHY? because it carries much more weight and is much more threatening.
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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: You may have a great point, I have seen persons fling very abusive remarks to people ...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:




You may have a great point, I have seen persons fling very abusive remarks to people who are trying to stay pure, on the other hand I have seen and experienced great support from people here. I have seen a lot of meanness on the forums in my time here. I have been here a long time. It is not my intent to argue either side of this, just discuss it a little. I guess it will be up to admin to decide how to use the suggestion. The anonymous presentation might save face for most posters who want such a thread/room/opportunity.

But those of us who have been here a long time have witnessed some posters fighting for the idea that porn is ok for example. Still, hiding our light under a bushel is not necessarily the way to build up the body of Christ and using the forums to grow together in a sense of resolve to fight temptations that are being forced on us from all sides, might be a real effective and purposeful ministry.

--hide--

I also think that it may be a helpful way for people to realize that they are not the only one struggling with certain issues. Many times people hold on to unconfessed sin out of shame and the mistaken belief that they are alone in their struggles. By putting it out in the open and providing solutions and support we may be able to show them the lie in that belief. For new and struggling Catholics who are willing to try to change this room may be a God send and a life changing read. That is why I think that Pat's suggestion is so important. Due to the private nature of chastity it is not something that we are getting enough support in on the parochial level. If CM can provide a means and an outlet for this the graces can be countless.

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