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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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03/16/2013 new

Silly rabbits

You are Catholics yet you have something against the Church telling you to do something?

There is a richness in the experience of talking to someone, getting to know them face to face, that cannot be duplicated by computer. It is interesting how quickly your comment about people getting together turned into marriage. Well, while I think people need to get together to get married, I don't believe people that get together always get married.

03/16/2013 new

I have had many interesting conversations with potential matches on here, but there always seems to be a catch. Some just didn't click, some were definitely fakers or not really 'Catholic' enough for me to be comfortable or 'just interested in one thing' with or without marriage. But the main problem I've found is that too many expect the woman to do the pursuing, and that just isn't right. There is that innitial effort made, but then they seem to think it's up to the woman to keep it going -- they wait for the woman to call them or even travel to meet instead of the man calling and traveling, as I feel proper traditionally and usually. If you want to talk to me, call me, don't text me to call you! Call and leave a polite message if I cannot answer or I'm not home. I'm a busy person, but I make myself available to talk if you call. I just wish men were more aggressive, because I'm not going to do the work of the pursuer. Be men; it really makes a woman feel like you are interested to have you put forth the effort! And thank you, every one of you who has been active and called, emailed, chatted and texted!

03/16/2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: I have had many interesting conversations with potential matches on here, but there always seems...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

I have had many interesting conversations with potential matches on here, but there always seems to be a catch. Some just didn't click, some were definitely fakers or not really 'Catholic' enough for me to be comfortable or 'just interested in one thing' with or without marriage. But the main problem I've found is that too many expect the woman to do the pursuing, and that just isn't right. There is that innitial effort made, but then they seem to think it's up to the woman to keep it going -- they wait for the woman to call them or even travel to meet instead of the man calling and traveling, as I feel proper traditionally and usually. If you want to talk to me, call me, don't text me to call you! Call and leave a polite message if I cannot answer or I'm not home. I'm a busy person, but I make myself available to talk if you call. I just wish men were more aggressive, because I'm not going to do the work of the pursuer. Be men; it really makes a woman feel like you are interested to have you put forth the effort! And thank you, every one of you who has been active and called, emailed, chatted and texted!

--hide--
Rachel -- I was referring to initial contacts to initiate some action on the part of the guys and gals. Some fellows need a little nudge to get moving (shy, introverted for example). I still believe in general that the man should make the effort to take it from there. Is this a hardfast rule? Not in my opinion. If two personalities are complementary, they can use that to their advantage. Some men aren't aggressive enough to initiate or continue a pursuit, whereas some women are. Not traditional perhaps, but acceptable in this day and age. Either way, if it seems like a chore or work to make the efforts, a relationship is likely doomed before it even starts. Both parties can help make it easier for each other, and some of that relates to existing circumstances at the time.

I'm not trying to portray a men versus women scenario, but to emphasize the need for both genders to communicate. Nothing happens until that first step is taken. It takes both to do this. Somebody has to start something or else nothing happens.

03/16/2013 new

I would prefer not to use force.Teachings about Catholic marriages,yes.


Fear may make some fail to communicate initially with people they may be attracted to.


Catholic groups is a good opportunity for individuals to meet.


I've not known man to fear happiness .Some may be more likely to fear true commitments that could lead to personal,spiritual growth and something more furfilling. two cents

03/16/2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-872788 said: "Any man .... WILL find one?" Hardly. There are numerous fo...
(Quote) Patrick-872788 said:

"Any man .... WILL find one?" Hardly. There are numerous forum posts from men whose messages to women find their way to the trash bin with no acknowledgement of their efforts. Despite the popular misconception it's not all easy breezy for the men, either.

--hide--


I base my comment on the success I have seen among men who came here with some kind of plan..Most left with a significant other and usually in their first 6 mos.

03/16/2013 new

Chicken??? Chicken??? Chicken??? Chicken???
Sorry, kiddo. I just had to do that.

Yes, there is good fear, that keeps us from doing dangerous or truly stupid things. But most fear is just our minds playing tricks on us and -- more importantly -- a LACK OF TRUST IN GOD.

Remember when Aladdin holds out his hand to Jasmine and asks, "Do you trust me?" God says that to us every day. If we can lay aside our pride (which tells us that we know better than He does), and answer "yes"-- then there is no reason to fear, and good things can happen.

03/16/2013 new

Great comments, Ray.

(Quote) Ray-566531 said:The Fear Factor is real. For those who can't completely get over it -- meet it head on.
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:The Fear Factor is real. For those who can't completely get over it -- meet it head on.
--hide--


Or get the heck out of the way so that the rest of us can move on with our lives.

03/16/2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: I don't have or see a problem with women taking at least some initiative. Statistically we have no w...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said: I don't have or see a problem with women taking at least some initiative. Statistically we have no way of knowing how many dates resulted from this approach.
--hide--

1. Glad you think that way, Ray. I believe you are in the minority, at least on CM.
2. Statistically, I'm willing to bet very, very, very few.

03/16/2013 new

(Quote) ED-20630 said: Donna, That suggested method of "ed...
(Quote) ED-20630 said:

Donna,


That suggested method of "education and/or coercion that makes people get together" brought to mind the image of all the cardinals being locked into the Sistine Chapel, with limited food rations (as had been tried some centuries ago), until they choose a pope. Perhaps your friend is suggesting that all the singles be locked into a big room until there are only couples left! What could go wrong?


Ed

--hide--


There has been suggestions made in the past (by someone who shall go nameless) that CM events should be handled by lockdown.. Put all the attendees in a room and make them communicate with only each other.. Give them sports or games activities so they don't get completely bored, but they aren't allowed to see the light of day outside 'the room'.. wide eyed wide eyed

03/16/2013 new

(Quote) Patrick-872788 said: . Despite the popular misconception it's not all easy breezy for the men, either.
(Quote) Patrick-872788 said: . Despite the popular misconception it's not all easy breezy for the men, either.
--hide--

It would be if you contacted ME. laughing

BTW, Donna lives near you.

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