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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Unfortunately for a large percentage of us women the 'innocent Hello' never leads to an ac...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Unfortunately for a large percentage of us women the 'innocent Hello' never leads to an actual date.. All it leads to is a day or two of emails if we are very lucky. Then he drops out of sight.. It's still up to the man to be doing the asking on a date..There is precious little asking going on around here.

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Donna, that seems to be a very true statement! It takes a lot of courage/chutzpah, especially for an introvert, to send out that emotigram. And what a downer it is to not even receive an emotigram in reply! I have heard all the reasons why someone may not reply, but it still is disappointing! One wonders: "is it my profile?" "is it my photo?" "What's wrong with me?"

Then if we do get a couple of promising e-mails & then they suddenly stop with no explanation.....


I was advised by an "expert" on dating/single living to let the man lead--let him ask for the F2F & then he should set up the 1st three dates.


This is definitely NOT easy--especially with those of us who are more mature & have been out of the dating scene for many years!



Mar 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Marita-847688 said: Most men would go after the same few women, while the other women would stand there...
(Quote) Marita-847688 said:


Most men would go after the same few women, while the other women would stand there wondering what is wrong with them.

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Marita, this just reminds me of what happened in junior high & afterward at all those dances/socials! Here we are adults, trying to catch someone's attention only in a different medium. And we're still left standing there, wondering "what's wrong with me?" This can be applied to both men & women. But, typically, women will get the brunt of it because we are traditionally led to believe that it's the man who does the choosing. I don't care how much the world has shifted, I'm of an older generation & still believe that. Even though I may make a move (such as send out an emotigram or a message) it can still be ignored for any variety of reasons!


A real-life experience comes to mind: We had just started a singles group in our area & got together for bowling. It was interesting to see the men flocking to one woman in particular while the rest of us women were "stading in line". The men missed out on getting to know some very nice women that evening!

Any men care to respond to that? I don't want to be argumentative, just curious!

Mar 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Carol-737878 said: Marita, this just reminds me of what happened in junior high & afterward at all ...
(Quote) Carol-737878 said:


Marita, this just reminds me of what happened in junior high & afterward at all those dances/socials! Here we are adults, trying to catch someone's attention only in a different medium. And we're still left standing there, wondering "what's wrong with me?" This can be applied to both men & women. But, typically, women will get the brunt of it because we are traditionally led to believe that it's the man who does the choosing. I don't care how much the world has shifted, I'm of an older generation & still believe that. Even though I may make a move (such as send out an emotigram or a message) it can still be ignored for any variety of reasons!


A real-life experience comes to mind: We had just started a singles group in our area & got together for bowling. It was interesting to see the men flocking to one woman in particular while the rest of us women were "stading in line". The men missed out on getting to know some very nice women that evening!

Any men care to respond to that? I don't want to be argumentative, just curious!

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Hi Carol ... Just curious ... Was this one woman doing anything in particular to attract the attention? ..

Mar 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: , but there always seems to be a catch. Some just didn't click, some were definitely fakers ...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

, but there always seems to be a catch. Some just didn't click, some were definitely fakers or not really 'Catholic' enough for me to be comfortable or 'just interested in one thing' with or without marriage. I just wish men were more aggressive, because I'm not going to do the work of the pursuer. Be men; it really makes a woman feel like you are interested to have you put forth the effort! And thank you, every one of you who has been active and called, emailed, chatted and texted!

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Rachel,

I've been out of the dating scene so long & feel rather naive--how do you spot a "faker"?


I also appreciate when a man has responded if even minimally!

Mar 16th 2013 new

Richard, all I can tell you is that she was blonde & in fairly good shape. She wasn't any younger than the rest of us (who were brunettes & in fairly good shape as well!). Perhaps she was putting out some subtle signals that the men caught.

Mar 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Rosemarie-744159 said: It seems that men in general fear emotional intimacy......... http://www.kensolin....
(Quote) Rosemarie-744159 said:

It seems that men in general fear emotional intimacy.........


www.kensolin.com



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Not true for all of us .... Some of us feel very empty without it ...very empty!

Mar 16th 2013 new
Carol -- unfortunately, you have to spend time together, talking together and learning a bit about each other, which means you have less time, energy, and desire to spend energy searching for those who aren't fakers.
Mar 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Carol-737878 said: Richard, all I can tell you is that she was blonde & in fairly good shape. She wasn't any...
(Quote) Carol-737878 said:

Richard, all I can tell you is that she was blonde & in fairly good shape. She wasn't any younger than the rest of us (who were brunettes & in fairly good shape as well!). Perhaps she was putting out some subtle signals that the men caught.

--hide--


But ...perhaps the men she was attracting were not men of any depth ... I've seen guys act pretty stupid around some women ....

Mar 16th 2013 new

Just this morning I had to run out to the store for a few ingredients. I was wearing just some nicer sweats, tennies, a well-worn coat, but a big smile and being my usual open self. In the 15 minutes I was in the store, I was smiled at by many people and said "Hi!" to by a few and had quick conversations with 3 men and the female cashier and a casual female friend -- she was the only one I knew. Ok, I'm ovulating today so that seems to always somehow attract men to me, but I think just being friendly and expecting people to be nice and 'like' or have a favorable impression of me allows me to expect and get friendliness from everyone I meet. I could have been more encouraging to the people and maybe even gotten an invite to coffee or a date, but I was just putting out my 'friendly but busy' vibe because I'm really not interested in non-Catholics and none of these people go to my church and more than that I have a really busy weekend with all four of my girls home. I think, in real life, things are so much easier than on here.

Mar 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: A preference is not necessarily an absolute requirement. Given sufficient motivation, man...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

A preference is not necessarily an absolute requirement. Given sufficient motivation, many preferences can be changed. You'll never know unless you talk to the individual.

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Jerry,

Actually I did hit the "Yes" Match button for the man in CT. Unfortunately, I feel quite confident he will hit the "No" Match button from reading his Profile, if I'm wrong I'll let you know. Since he never goes on the Forums he will not know about this posting. So I go back to the "Match" system, you can't move a farm, the other was unavailable and mismatched. So I'm not hiding in the woods, I'm here and vocal.

theheart

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