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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I still have two teens at home. I think my plan would be:1. Kids, you will treat this...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:



I still have two teens at home. I think my plan would be:
1. Kids, you will treat this man with the respect due to any adult member of the family.
2. Kids, you will treat this man with charity due to his being the apple of your mother's eye.
3. Kids, you will do nothing that will create disharmony between husband and wife. (This is easy to explain to a teen, much more difficult when the kids are younger.)
4. Husband, you will express your opinions in front of the children calmly. You will not act like a child when others -- including myself -- disagree.
5. Husband, you will consult with me privately when you think the kid is out of line or that I am permitting/making a bad decision.
6. Husband, I promise that I will listen carefully to your advice, but you must understand that my relationship with the kids is longer than yours. I know them better than you do, though I appreciate that your "third party" point of view can bring valuable insights.
7. Kids and husband, remember that mom is performing a balancing act between raising kids and caring for a lover. Don't make me choose between you -- because you won't like the outcome.

--hide--


Thanks Marge, this is brilliant. You get a Gold Star! You get a Gold Star! You get a Gold Star!

Mar 20th 2013 new

Yes it is possible. Keep praying, trusting and believing. I have a friend who recently married for the second time. She has children but her husband did not. He was a widow and did not have any children of his own. Her children were accepted as he loves her and he never had children of his own. She met him when she least expected.

Mar 20th 2013 new

Yes I believe that there are men out there who will accept a widow with children. However there are others who will not. But you need to find only one man for you to be happy. Pray that you find the man who will love both you and the children.


Praying biggrin

Mar 20th 2013 new

Kathryn,

It is so very possible, with GOD!

I recommend a great book, " Who Gets The Drumstick?" By Helen Beardsley. A Catholic widow who had more children than you! It is amazing to see just how God worked in her life! My sister loved it and so did my dad. He read it in one day. Just goes to show you, if God wants it, nothing can stand in HIS way! All God's blessings to you! Veronica wave theheart

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Mary-363093 said: Sure it's possible!I have a friend who found herself suddenly on her own raising 6 kid...
(Quote) Mary-363093 said:

Sure it's possible!

I have a friend who found herself suddenly on her own raising 6 kids - ages 2 to 15. She doubted she'd ever remarry. However, she met a man raising 2 of his own, of ages between her oldest and #3 child. They married 10 years ago, have 5 currently in or done with college or trade school, 3 still left in at home. (Her youngest, now age 12, is one of my Goddaughters.)

I've spent some time with the couple over the years, and they both felt led to each other and their new life together. It just blended so easily, things fell into place so smoothly. The man is a wonderful father figure to all her children, they quickly grew to love and respect him. Neat people - both of them. Kids are all doing well too.

Matter of fact - this week they are in Haiti - finalizing the adoption of a 15 yr old girl my girlfriend met a few years ago on a mission trip with church. Just 'felt the call' and she and her husband prayed about it. He went on the next mission trip and called her to tell her he met this young lady and was starting the paperwork. It's taken almost 2 years, and slowly everything has fallen into place. So they will be bringing home a 'new' 15 yr old daughter next week - she'll be child #9.

Their faith that anything is possible has gotten them through so much - it's a joy to watch them as a family. They remain 'open' to His signs, and try to follow where He leads them, even when it doesn't seem to make sense.

--hide--


Mary, What a wonderful family! Thank you for sharing! Veronica biggrin

Mar 20th 2013 new

thumbsup You betcha, Kathryn!! it happened in my parish a few years ago...Widower (49) with 5 kids ages 2-11, went to his high school reunion and re-acquainted with a former classmate, annulled with 2 kids, and one grandchild she was raising. After a year of dating, they married, and felt called to adopt an 11 month old strawberry blonde baby girl from foster care. They fill up the pew in front of me each week! biggrin

I was widowed at 46, with two elementary children and a house payment....Course, I'm still waiting for the right cowboy or knight-errant to come along...

Mar 20th 2013 new

Absolutely!!!

Mar 20th 2013 new

Kathryn, meet Richard. Richard, meet Kathryn. laughing

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said: . . . marry a widow with seven children? Two are out of the house, the youngest thre...
(Quote) Kathryn-328433 said:

. . . marry a widow with seven children?


Two are out of the house, the youngest three are in elementary school. Their mother owns their house and has almost no debt.

Would he, necessarily, have to be insane?



Hypothetically, that is.

Just sayin',


Kate

--hide--

LOL No he wouldn't have to be insane, but I do think he would be pretty terrific. There are men who have that gift of being able to embrace such a life, enrich it and be enriched by it. :-))).

Mar 20th 2013 new
It may not be the idea of seven children in and of itself, but the idea that any woman with a large family is going to have a hard time picking up and moving to be with the new father. That means that he has to be crazy enough about you to give up his job and look for another one as well as leave behind whatever other life he may have had unless he's lucky enough to live near you already. You, of course, will want him to have a new job to support those children even before you marry if at all possible-- that is absolutely not unreasonable. Right away, we have a serious issue. It is not insurmountable, but it is a huge challenge. Older people often have serious difficulty finding new employment; they have larger salary requirements and age discrimination is always a problem even if it is illegal.

I actually am insane enough to entertain gladly the possibility of marrying a widow with a large family, especially as I am probably too old to start a family of my own (unless I find an insane young lady) but I am not in a position to move right now, which limits my possibilities tremendously. I'm sure that many other halfway-decent men are in similar situations.
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