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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Mar 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Tara-916865 said: The rosary, confession, and adoration work wonders. In the past, I may have gone a decade or more without confe...
(Quote) Tara-916865 said:

The rosary, confession, and adoration work wonders. In the past, I may have gone a decade or more without confession. I "upgraded" to once every few years, then to once a year, and now bascially once a month. lol Whoa, I know. I never knew what adoration was until I was in my 20's, and I went to Catholic school for many moons. I now go weekly for an hour. Until last year, I'd never said the rosary on my own... ever. I actually Googled it then downloaded podcasts just so I wouldn't mess it up. Now, I saw it almost daily. All of these are HUGE changes for me. I am not trying to be "holier than thou" by any means; my point is that I wasn't always this way, but I'm here now.





I heard the Everts speak about a week ago in Covington, LA at Abbey Youth Fest (over 4,000 teens came!). Jason Evert talked about how the rosary has helped him so much, especially with battling porn. He said that if you don't have the time to say the rosary, say a Hail Mary. If you don't have time to say a Hail Mary, keep saying "Mary" over and over throughout your temptations. He also talked about confession (recommended going every 2-3 weeks, or a month at the latest) and recommended adoration. The lines for confession were wrapped all around after his talk. Amazing.

--hide--


Yes. I've heard Jason Evert speak to the youth and he is amazing. I especially find valuable his talks on spiritual warfare, and how the devil enters us through our senses, which is why we have to be extra careful what we look at, listen to, say, etc. Everyone, bith youth and adilts, should hear him speak.

I also find prayer, adoration and going to mass as often as I can crutial in staying close to God and avoiding temptation. Being in church just gives me so much strength.
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Mar 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Sol-496426 said: Some uplifting quotes by Great Saints: "Only the chaste man a...
(Quote) Sol-496426 said:

Some uplifting quotes by Great Saints:



"Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of true love."
--Pope John Paul II



"Chastity is a difficult, long term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit, for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness."
--Pope John Paul II



"Deep within yourself, listen to your conscience which calls you to be pure . . . a home is not warmed by the fire of pleasure which burns quickly like a pile of withered grass. Passing encounters are only a caricature of love; they injure hearts and mock God's plan."
--Pope John Paul II



"[God] has assigned as a duty to every man the dignity of every woman."
--Pope John Paul II

"To be pure, to remain pure, can only come at a price, the price of knowing God and loving him enough to do his will. He will always give us the strength we need to keep purity as something as beautiful for him."
--Blessed Mother Teresa



"When you have sought the company of a sensual satisfaction, what loneliness afterward!"
--St. Josemaria Escriva



"Don't say, 'That's the way I am—its my character.' It's your lack of character. Esto vir!—Be a man!"
--St. Josemaria Escriva

"Purity is the fruit of prayer."
--Blessed Mother Teresa



"Purity prepares the soul for love, and love confirms the soul in purity."
--John Henry Cardinal Newman



"Filthy talk makes us feel comfortable with filthy action. But the one who knows how to control the tongue is prepared to resist the attacks of lust."
--St. Clement of Alexandria



"That conversation . . . was as dirty as a sewer! It is not enough for you to take no part in it. You must show your repugnance to it strongly!"
--St. Josemaria Escriva



"Either we must speak as we dress, or dress as we speak. Why do we profess one thing and display another? The tongue talks of chastity, but the whole body reveals impurity."
--St. Jerome



“A clean heart is a free heart. A free heart can love Christ with an undivided love in chastity, convinced that nothing and nobody will separate it from his love. Purity, chastity, and virginity created a special beauty in Mary that attracted God’s attention. He showed his great love for the world by giving Jesus to her.”
--Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta



”A pure soul is like a fine pearl. As long as it is hidden in the shell, at the bottom of the sea, no one thinks of admiring it. But if you bring it into the sunshine, this pearl will shine and attract all eyes. Thus the pure soul, which is hidden from the eyes of the world, will one day shine before the Angels in the sunshine of eternity.”
--Saint John Marie Vianney

”The pure soul is a beautiful rose, and the Three Divine Persons descend from Heaven to inhale its fragrance.”
--Saint John Marie Vianney



”Chastity is the lily of virtues, and makes men almost equal to Angels. Everything is beautiful in accordance with its purity. Now the purity of man is chastity, which is called honesty, and the observance of it, honor and also integrity; and its contrary is called corruption; in short, it has this peculiar excellence above the other virtues, that it preserves both soul and body fair and unspotted.”
--Saint Francis of Sales, Doctor of the Church



”Humility is the safeguard of chastity. In the matter of purity, there is no greater danger than not fearing the danger. For my part, when I find a man secure of himself and without fear, I give him up for lost I am less alarmed for one who is tempted and who resists by avoiding the occasions, than for one who is not tempted and is not careful to avoid occasions. When a person puts himself in an occasion, saying, I shall not fall, it is an almost infallible sign that he will fall, and with great injury to his soul.”
--Saint Philip Neri






He alone loves the Creator perfectly who manifests a pure love for his neighbor.
--Saint Bede the Venerable

'We must practise modesty, not only in our looks, but also in our whole deportment, and particularly in our dress, our walk, our conversation, and all similar actions.'
--St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori



"You carry your snare everywhere and spread your nets in all places. You allege that you never invited others to sin. You did not indeed, by your words, but you have done so by your dress and your deportment. ... When you have made another sin in his heart, how can you be innocent? Tell me, whom does this world condemn? Whom do judges punish? Those who drink poison or those who prepare it and administer the fatal potion? You have prepared the abominable cup, you have given the death dealing drink, and you are more criminal than are those who poison the body; you murder not the body but the soul. And it is not to enemies you do this, nor are you urged on by any imaginary necessity , nor provoked by injury , but out of foolish vanity and pride."
--Saint John Chrysostom



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WOW. Thanks for the comprehensive list of quotes Sol. I will use them for meditation. theheart
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Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Therese-668052 said: Thank you Bernadette for providing more links about scapulars, very good information Y...
(Quote) Therese-668052 said:

Thank you Bernadette for providing more links about scapulars, very good information

Yesterday i ordered two from the Rose Scapular site. We will be wearing them.

keep us in your prayers

TKC

Therese
--hide--

You're most welcome, and be assured that you will be in my prayers. Praying rosary Praying

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Apr 1st 2013 new

I wonder, after reading every entry in this thread why anybody would be on this site if you were not 7/7. There is something really wrong when you encourage people to honestly answer how they feel about something and then have so many posts in the forums that tell people how wrong they are for feeling the way they do. Is it your intent to make people feel bad about being on this site?

I also get the feeling that "Chastity" means no touching, kissing, holding or wearing a swimsuit or 95% of the clothes I saw people wearing last weekend. Just perhaps some people on this site are going a little overboard, just like some of the people I saw wearing the skimpy clothes they were wearing.

As a happily married man, for a long time, I think I understand where sex fits into life. It is a wonderful gift. It is abused by many people. So much of what is said here is true. But, I believe you are most un-Catholic in your lack of charity toward others that do not share your opinion. It is my experience in life, in my own life, that I tend to carry on about the things I think I have under control so no one will talk about the things I do not have under control. OR I talk about the things that bother me.

So, sex must bother people, alot. There are people on this site that are far more knowledgeable than I about our Church's position on sex through the ages. It might surprise you what has been accepted over time. God made us male and female. God intended for us to be together as man and wife. One could make a case for saying that living single is contrary to God's will and therefore disordered. You all accept my statement by paying money to belong to this site. You all seek marriage, or you all did. Why do you criticize people that have sex before marriage? So many people do that. Could be your parents, could have been you, might be your children. I believe it is a better choice to abstain from pre-maritial sex, but I will not tell someone they are wrong, or a sinner, if they choose to have sex before marriage. We all seek to love God and do His will. I do not believe we do His will by so openly and forcefully expressing that our way is right, or better, and that others are wrong. We also do not do God's will by requiring a specific behavour from others to allow them to join our little club, called the Catholic Church.

Sexual intercourse, as God intended, is a spiritual food that makes love grow stronger. If you believe that two people have intercourse and never see one another again you are simply wrong. There have been many couples who had sex before they were married in the Church and have wonderful marriages to this day. God does not withhold His love, or Blessings from a couple just because they do not follow all the rules.

I know many people on this site seek the love that God wants for you. Know that the more things you are quite ridgid about in your thinking the less likely you will find the love you seek. Being affectionate prior to marriage taps into that spiritual food that sex is. It can build your relationship. If you have no affection you really run the risk of starving your relationship. As with anything, the path from the first date to a wedding and children and old age is interesting. Along the way you must find the right path, your path. Just be aware that everyone is seeking that path. Be a little more understanding of your brothers and sisters that have chosen a different path than yours. I am pretty sure God is.

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Apr 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:I also get the feeling that "Chastity" means no touching, kissing, holding or wearing a swim...
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:I also get the feeling that "Chastity" means no touching, kissing, holding or wearing a swimsuit or 95% of the clothes I saw people wearing last weekend.
--hide--
www.audiosancto.org

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Apr 1st 2013 new

Nice sermon.

Somewhat at odds with engaged encounter. A couple needs to spend much time alone together, working on their relationship. Most marriage preparation ministries would be at odds with what the priest said.

I would encourage a couple to spend many hours alone together, for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with sex, prior to marriage. You see, at some point you have to decide if you like the person. How do you do that if you don't spend alot of time together?

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Apr 2nd 2013 new

(Quote) Sol-496426 said: Some uplifting quotes by Great Saints: "Only the chaste m...
(Quote) Sol-496426 said:

Some uplifting quotes by Great Saints:

"Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of true love."
--Pope John Paul II

"Chastity is a difficult, long term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit, for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness."
--Pope John Paul II

"Deep within yourself, listen to your conscience which calls you to be pure . . . a home is not warmed by the fire of pleasure which burns quickly like a pile of withered grass. Passing encounters are only a caricature of love; they injure hearts and mock God's plan."
--Pope John Paul II

"[God] has assigned as a duty to every man the dignity of every woman."
--Pope John Paul II

"To be pure, to remain pure, can only come at a price, the price of knowing God and loving him enough to do his will. He will always give us the strength we need to keep purity as something as beautiful for him."
--Blessed Mother Teresa

"When you have sought the company of a sensual satisfaction, what loneliness afterward!"
--St. Josemaria Escriva

"Don't say, 'That's the way I am—its my character.' It's your lack of character. Esto vir!—Be a man!"
--St. Josemaria Escriva

"Purity is the fruit of prayer."
--Blessed Mother Teresa

"Purity prepares the soul for love, and love confirms the soul in purity."
--John Henry Cardinal Newman

"Filthy talk makes us feel comfortable with filthy action. But the one who knows how to control the tongue is prepared to resist the attacks of lust."
--St. Clement of Alexandria

"That conversation . . . was as dirty as a sewer! It is not enough for you to take no part in it. You must show your repugnance to it strongly!"
--St. Josemaria Escriva

"Either we must speak as we dress, or dress as we speak. Why do we profess one thing and display another? The tongue talks of chastity, but the whole body reveals impurity."
--St. Jerome

“A clean heart is a free heart. A free heart can love Christ with an undivided love in chastity, convinced that nothing and nobody will separate it from his love. Purity, chastity, and virginity created a special beauty in Mary that attracted God’s attention. He showed his great love for the world by giving Jesus to her.”
--Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

”A pure soul is like a fine pearl. As long as it is hidden in the shell, at the bottom of the sea, no one thinks of admiring it. But if you bring it into the sunshine, this pearl will shine and attract all eyes. Thus the pure soul, which is hidden from the eyes of the world, will one day shine before the Angels in the sunshine of eternity.”
--Saint John Marie Vianney

”The pure soul is a beautiful rose, and the Three Divine Persons descend from Heaven to inhale its fragrance.”
--Saint John Marie Vianney

”Chastity is the lily of virtues, and makes men almost equal to Angels. Everything is beautiful in accordance with its purity. Now the purity of man is chastity, which is called honesty, and the observance of it, honor and also integrity; and its contrary is called corruption; in short, it has this peculiar excellence above the other virtues, that it preserves both soul and body fair and unspotted.”
--Saint Francis of Sales, Doctor of the Church

”Humility is the safeguard of chastity. In the matter of purity, there is no greater danger than not fearing the danger. For my part, when I find a man secure of himself and without fear, I give him up for lost I am less alarmed for one who is tempted and who resists by avoiding the occasions, than for one who is not tempted and is not careful to avoid occasions. When a person puts himself in an occasion, saying, I shall not fall, it is an almost infallible sign that he will fall, and with great injury to his soul.”
--Saint Philip Neri


He alone loves the Creator perfectly who manifests a pure love for his neighbor.
--Saint Bede the Venerable

'We must practise modesty, not only in our looks, but also in our whole deportment, and particularly in our dress, our walk, our conversation, and all similar actions.'
--St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

"You carry your snare everywhere and spread your nets in all places. You allege that you never invited others to sin. You did not indeed, by your words, but you have done so by your dress and your deportment. ... When you have made another sin in his heart, how can you be innocent? Tell me, whom does this world condemn? Whom do judges punish? Those who drink poison or those who prepare it and administer the fatal potion? You have prepared the abominable cup, you have given the death dealing drink, and you are more criminal than are those who poison the body; you murder not the body but the soul. And it is not to enemies you do this, nor are you urged on by any imaginary necessity , nor provoked by injury , but out of foolish vanity and pride."
--Saint John Chrysostom

--hide--


clap clap clap Wonderful list of quotes to guide us! Thanks for posting!

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Apr 2nd 2013 new

Pat, Thanks for beginning this very helpful thread! With the secular world around us, it is so important to have support in living out our faith.

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: God made us. When He looked at us he said it was good. Therefore, every part of our being is good...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

God made us. When He looked at us he said it was good. Therefore, every part of our being is good. Including our sexuality. However, like the clutch on a car there's a right way and a wrong way to use it. Abusing it can result in all sorts of problems, both for us and our future spouse. My clutch is a bit slippery at the moment, its a real nusiance when it doesn't lock in gear properly and then refuses to move up into 3rd makes me look like an idiot at the intersection when it revs like a drive by shooting.

Anyway, sex...

God made our sexualities to be both life giving and generous. Not all of us can transmit life, either due to defect or sin or age, but that doesn't mean the generousity of it is mooted, nor should it be convienantly ignored.

So in order to reflect that generosity, we must give all of our sexuality to our future spouse. That means no dating Roise Palmer and her five daughters, that means no drunken Friday night orgies, that means no porn, no "third base". Everything. In its completeness, must be given to our future spouse, as God intended.

Plus, really, you just gotta look around and see the complete and unmitigated disaster the "free sex" society has won us. STDs are exploding in number and virosity, unplanned pregnancies, abortions, the "baggage" brought along by future partners, the addiction to porn, et cetera, its just a huge SNAFU. Is this really something we want to bring to our future marriages?

If I wasn't Catholic, I'd still live by the same sexual ethics, because it just makes sense.

My methodolgy in keeping my V club card:

1. Fornication messes everything up.

2. STDs are not pretty.

3. Don't want to have the "husband, you're x on the list of my lovers" conversation.

4. There's not enough good practising Catholics in this country, if I got pregnant out of wedlock, I'd have a huge moral crisis as in whom to adopt my baby to.

5. I love God. Fornication pi$$es Him off. I don't want to brass off the Almighty. He's my buddy.

6. Really? A couple o' minutes of naked pleasure with some guy? That's what classes as fun these days. I think its lazy and shows people can't come up with anything orginial to be doing on a Friday night. Bunnies shag en masse, I like to think we're a little more clever than bunnies. [And those few minutes o' pleasure, that's what's going to earn me an eternity in Hell? If people are going to go to Hell, at least go for something specatcular!]

7. Get a hobby. Go to bed tired. If your'e single, bed is for sleeping, computers are for WOW and annoying the atheists on their silly forums.

8. Pray. Pray and then pray some more. Imagine Mary is in your room, standing over your bed, watching you. Imagine in her sinless, holy voice, the same voice that soothed our Lord and called him to supper, imagine her saying "What are you doing?" You think you can explain your actions to Our Holy Lady? Then imagine her doing this: www.youtube.com

In closing, automatics are the devil; even taking into account dodgy clutches.

--hide--

Why would you want to adopt your child out?

What makes you think you wont be the best mother in the world? Do what the Maori do and give the child to a relative to care for, until you are ready.

The deed is done, the child is born to YOU, so God must want YOU to raise it and teach it. God never looked down on the unmarried mother, Mary of Magdelaine was one of His favourites. I agree adoption can be a good thing for a child but I think the natural mother is the best choice, and the government support means you wont go without but it wouldnt be easy I acknowledge that. I have a friend who has 2 children by 2 fathers out of wedlock and she raised them both and worked as a nurse for extra money. She had the support of family and she is a good Catholic Girl, just not perfect

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said: I wonder, after reading every entry in this thread why anybody would be on this site if you we...
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:

I wonder, after reading every entry in this thread why anybody would be on this site if you were not 7/7. There is something really wrong when you encourage people to honestly answer how they feel about something and then have so many posts in the forums that tell people how wrong they are for feeling the way they do. Is it your intent to make people feel bad about being on this site?

I also get the feeling that "Chastity" means no touching, kissing, holding or wearing a swimsuit or 95% of the clothes I saw people wearing last weekend. Just perhaps some people on this site are going a little overboard, just like some of the people I saw wearing the skimpy clothes they were wearing.

As a happily married man, for a long time, I think I understand where sex fits into life. It is a wonderful gift. It is abused by many people. So much of what is said here is true. But, I believe you are most un-Catholic in your lack of charity toward others that do not share your opinion. It is my experience in life, in my own life, that I tend to carry on about the things I think I have under control so no one will talk about the things I do not have under control. OR I talk about the things that bother me.

So, sex must bother people, alot. There are people on this site that are far more knowledgeable than I about our Church's position on sex through the ages. It might surprise you what has been accepted over time. God made us male and female. God intended for us to be together as man and wife. One could make a case for saying that living single is contrary to God's will and therefore disordered. You all accept my statement by paying money to belong to this site. You all seek marriage, or you all did. Why do you criticize people that have sex before marriage? So many people do that. Could be your parents, could have been you, might be your children. I believe it is a better choice to abstain from pre-maritial sex, but I will not tell someone they are wrong, or a sinner, if they choose to have sex before marriage. We all seek to love God and do His will. I do not believe we do His will by so openly and forcefully expressing that our way is right, or better, and that others are wrong. We also do not do God's will by requiring a specific behavour from others to allow them to join our little club, called the Catholic Church.

Sexual intercourse, as God intended, is a spiritual food that makes love grow stronger. If you believe that two people have intercourse and never see one another again you are simply wrong. There have been many couples who had sex before they were married in the Church and have wonderful marriages to this day. God does not withhold His love, or Blessings from a couple just because they do not follow all the rules.

I know many people on this site seek the love that God wants for you. Know that the more things you are quite ridgid about in your thinking the less likely you will find the love you seek. Being affectionate prior to marriage taps into that spiritual food that sex is. It can build your relationship. If you have no affection you really run the risk of starving your relationship. As with anything, the path from the first date to a wedding and children and old age is interesting. Along the way you must find the right path, your path. Just be aware that everyone is seeking that path. Be a little more understanding of your brothers and sisters that have chosen a different path than yours. I am pretty sure God is.

--hide--

I think the answer would have to be the race to be holier than thou which I notice is a strong theme throughout all the fora. I commend your honesty and the fact that you are strong enough to express an indepedent thought.

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