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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said: I wonder, after reading every entry in this thread why anybody would be on this site if you we...
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:

I wonder, after reading every entry in this thread why anybody would be on this site if you were not 7/7. ...

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Lawrence, your post is a good example of why I said in the Community room that we need a separate forum on chastity.

First, I totally agree--I don't know why anyone who was not 7/7 would even care about being on a Catholic site. Go be on Match.com if you plan to have sex with those you meet online.

But the topic of this thread is how to be chaste. It should be one place where people who are chaste, or trying to be, can express how they do that, why it matters, and encourage others with their experiences.

Here is the truth: having sex outside of a sacramental marriage is wrong and a sin. It's a sin, for which God can forgive you, if you seek His foregiveness, but it is still wrong and a sin.

Those who have done this, or are doing this, are not horrible people, but like all of us, have sinned.

But someone who is in active, current, no intention of not doing it sin is not someone who is a good bet for a relationship to lead to sacramental marriage for someone who has been chaste, or who is trying to be chaste, as God has asked us to do.

No one above's post is directed at anyone; it is talking about how to be chaste. Someone who is not chaste or striving to be has no interest in this thread, so if anyone feels criticized when they read who honest and striving people have to say about their own path of chastity, well then I say that is the Holy Spirit trying to reach their conscience on the issue.

And I don't see anyone here saying don't be affectionate, be a prude, don't ever be alone. That is ridiculous; we are not animals. We can control ourselves.

But we should be able to talk about this on a Catholic web site without being criticized for it.

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Lawrence, your post is a good example of why I said in the Community room that we need a sep...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Lawrence, your post is a good example of why I said in the Community room that we need a separate forum on chastity.

First, I totally agree--I don't know why anyone who was not 7/7 would even care about being on a Catholic site. Go be on Match.com if you plan to have sex with those you meet online.

But the topic of this thread is how to be chaste. It should be one place where people who are chaste, or trying to be, can express how they do that, why it matters, and encourage others with their experiences.

Here is the truth: having sex outside of a sacramental marriage is wrong and a sin. It's a sin, for which God can forgive you, if you seek His foregiveness, but it is still wrong and a sin.

Those who have done this, or are doing this, are not horrible people, but like all of us, have sinned.

But someone who is in active, current, no intention of not doing it sin is not someone who is a good bet for a relationship to lead to sacramental marriage for someone who has been chaste, or who is trying to be chaste, as God has asked us to do.

No one above's post is directed at anyone; it is talking about how to be chaste. Someone who is not chaste or striving to be has no interest in this thread, so if anyone feels criticized when they read who honest and striving people have to say about their own path of chastity, well then I say that is the Holy Spirit trying to reach their conscience on the issue.

And I don't see anyone here saying don't be affectionate, be a prude, don't ever be alone. That is ridiculous; we are not animals. We can control ourselves.

But we should be able to talk about this on a Catholic web site without being criticized for it.

--hide--

I completely agree. Striving for chastity is so important and both parties must be onboard and understand the true need for it and be vested to living that lifestyle. Even then it becomes harder the closer you get to each other and when opportunities to be unchaste present themselves. This does not have to be sex as there are many ways to be unchaste that chip away at the shield we place on our souls by God's grace to keep us in a place of purity. Marriage is a sacrament and so preparation for it has to be done in a state of grace.

We are not criticizing people who choose to live outside of this as there but for the grace of God go I. We love the sinner but should be able to say that the choice not to practice chastity is sinful because it is. I know for example that many guys who want to live chaste and are struggling with it due to past lifestyle choices or otherwise want to be able to talk freely and get support but are afraid to do so out of fear of criticism and or people seeing it as judgemental. Your post validates that fear that they have. So how can we support each other in chaste endeavors if we cannot talk to each other freely. This is a Catholic site and not a place of judgement by any means but should also be a place where people who want support to walk closer to Christ can get it. two cents

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: And I don't see anyone here saying don't be affectionate, be a prude, don't ever be alone...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

And I don't see anyone here saying don't be affectionate, be a prude, don't ever be alone. That is ridiculous; we are not animals. We can control ourselves.

But we should be able to talk about this on a Catholic web site without being criticized for it.

--hide--

Well, Pat, I agree with you about the not being animals and being able to control ourselves. I do not agree with you about the affectionate part. I am pretty sure there are people on this site that believe affection is a mortal sin outside of marriage. Where affection is kissing, holding hands or spending hours alone together talking about your future. I just was referred to a sermon that pretty much said that. So, there is support in the Church for Catholics being a collection of ice cubes on dates.

Just as you feel that you should be able to talk about your choices without being criticized for it, how about extending the same policy to people that have choosen differently than you? You know, just to be mean, I could really get into an argument with you about something. Now to be fair, it would have to be something pretty silly because you seem nice enough, but why should I do that? I shouldn't. It is not my place.

And just a question, someone could by 6/7. They don't agree with something completely unrelated to sex. Why do you jump right to sex? Are you really so sure that sex outside of marriage is always wrong? I happen to think sex inside of marriage is better, but I am not sure sex outside of marriage is always wrong. Before you jump all over me, when you say it is always wrong always means just that, always. If you can find one time were sex outside of marriage is, or was, acceptable then you cannot say sex outside of marriage is always wrong.

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: This is a Catholic site and not a place of judgement by any means
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

This is a Catholic site and not a place of judgement by any means

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That is exactly what this site is. You fix it by getting rid of the 7 questions for starters.

Then on a personal level, you try harder to imitate Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was the best example of a man doing the will of God. If you were to go out on a date with a guy that wanted to have sex, and you didn't think he did, then find a way to do what you think Jesus Christ would have done. Jesus did confront a woman at the well. She was not of a good reputation, if memory serves. He might have known that before He approached her. But, still, He talked to her, this was viewed as wrong at the time. He choose Matthew and Judas; Matthew was a real surprise, he was thought of as a bad man. Matthew turned out ok, Judas not so much. Be more like Jesus in that you are willing to be friends and talk to people. Marry them, maybe not. But maybe in going out on a date with a guy that wanted sex you will impress him by saying no. Just maybe you will bring God's love into his life. Is that a bad thing?

If you like him, tell him that. Don't hate him because he wanted to kiss you too much. Give him a reason to change and, if the situation calls for it, hope.

Many people on this site have been hurt badly by relationships, perhaps several times. So, when you date, you probably are dating someone that has been hurt. Why not be a source of happiness to them? Or, somehow is it better to go on about how many kisses get before you're married?

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Apr 7th 2013 new

I grew up in a Catholic home. There were Catholic items everywhere. There were statues, pictures and books. We were blessed enough to have a father who could afford to send us to Catholic schools. And a mother whom agreed. Every room had Catholic items in them, even the bathrooms. It was not overdone, but lovely. So, eveyrwhere you looked you could be reminded that you were a Catholic and to try to act as one. I, have sinned much in my life. I still try everyday not to fall into sin. But I am however a human being made in the image of God. I wear a brown scapular and a crucifix and Miraculous Medal always, I have a green scapular in my wallet. I carry a small satute of St. Joseph holding Jesus in my purse. I have Catholic items around my home and in my car. At my station at work, I have a few pictures and prayers up. Since I am speaking for myself and I am weak, I need these things to keep pure in mind and heart and soul. Which of course leads to body as well. I pray for strength to keep my faculties pure. I sometimes fail. But we must stay strong not to fall into the physical sin as it could happen to any of us as easily as the other. The physical love embrace is just that ~~~love~~~. It should be expressed with gentleness, kindness, passion and might. When the two are brought together by Our loving Father. We can only truly express our love for the other in holiness if we wait for our nuptuals, because then we are truly one with our spouse. We will give of ourselves in love by love and true love. And we will know it is truly in love not in lust, as we can be steered in the wrong direction and not know it and be hurt in many ways. Why would you want your future spouse to be impure in any way, so as to not make it to Heaven as quickly as possible after death. You must pray for each other and so all in your power to be a helper and vehcile for God's love on earth and to get your loved one to Heaven. There is no sin in sex inside of the nuptuals, and it must be natural if God gave this to us. And he made it to be enjoyable, however we are not to use it just for satisfaction or to objectify the other. We were made to appreciate the beauty in the other person on the outside of course, but the inside is the cream of the crop! That will persevere as age and the pressures of the outside world creep in. Keep the faith. IMHO And thanks Pat for yet another great post! Jane Praying hug theheart

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Apr 7th 2013 new

You can say whatever you like; I am pointing out the problem of being forced to have what should be a supportive discussion of a virtue of our faith, without having to defend it. It's goodness should be obvious and a given to such a discussion.

Sex outside of marriage is always a sin, there are no exceptions, and there is no circumstance that makes it okay.

The truth resonates on its own; it doesn't need me to embellish it.

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: You can say whatever you like; I am pointing out the problem of being forced to have what should be a...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

You can say whatever you like; I am pointing out the problem of being forced to have what should be a supportive discussion of a virtue of our faith, without having to defend it. It's goodness should be obvious and a given to such a discussion.

Sex outside of marriage is always a sin, there are no exceptions, and there is no circumstance that makes it okay.

The truth resonates on its own; it doesn't need me to embellish it.

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Spoken like a champ. No needed additions here. clap clap clap Bow Bow Bow

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:Are you really so sure that sex outside of marriage is always wrong? I happen to think sex inside of m...
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:Are you really so sure that sex outside of marriage is always wrong? I happen to think sex inside of marriage is better, but I am not sure sex outside of marriage is always wrong.
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Scripture and Church teachings make it very clear that sex outside marrage is wrong. I have Catholic friends whose views on sexuality are loose. I don't "Judge" them, but, according to Scripture and what keeps a Soul out of the Kingdom of God, I worry about them.

Even just looked up "Fornication" on Wikipedia and read the "Christianity" section.... they include St. Paul's writing about sexuality. Check it out.

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: Scripture and Church teachings make it very clear that sex outside marrage is wrong. I have...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

Scripture and Church teachings make it very clear that sex outside marrage is wrong. I have Catholic friends whose views on sexuality are loose. I don't "Judge" them, but, according to Scripture and what keeps a Soul out of the Kingdom of God, I worry about them.

Even just looked up "Fornication" on Wikipedia and read the "Christianity" section.... they include St. Paul's writing about sexuality. Check it out.

--hide--

I googled Catholic teaching prostitution middle ages and found some interesting things too, Doesn't mean I agree with it, or think it is important. I am not trying to defend sex outside of marriage. I am trying, apparently unsuccessfully, to make people a little more accepting of our Catholic brothers and sisters. My feeling is that people here would not talk to or date someone that is not 7/7. Frankly, I think a person is going to get a better seat at the table in heaven if they are loving and accepting of all and never ask questions like the ones on this site.

By the way, the Catholic Churches teachings are not bound by Scripture. We, unlike so many of our Christian brothers and sisters, have the Holy Spirit. We have 2000 years of teaching and 2000 years of papal bulls and canon law. We probably got more law than anyone, except maybe the Jews. Mostly it is a good thing. One thing you cannot do is threaten eternal damnation because of the lifestyle of a person. Seriously. If a priest preached a hell and damnation sermon now he would get a call. Those sermons were banned by Vatican II or around the time of Vatican II. If a priest cannot tell people they are going to hell for some sin, like abortion maybe, during Mass I seriously think you are out of line saying it here, or anywhere.

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Apr 7th 2013 new

(Quote) Lawrence-943One thing you cannot do is threaten eternal damnation because of the lifestyle of a person. Seriously. If a pri...
(Quote) Lawrence-943One thing you cannot do is threaten eternal damnation because of the lifestyle of a person. Seriously. If a priest preached a hell and damnation sermon now he would get a call. Those sermons were banned by Vatican II or around the time of Vatican II. If a priest cannot tell people they are going to hell for some sin, like abortion maybe, during Mass I seriously think you are out of line saying it here, or anywhere.

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NO human can tell someone they're going to Hell. But the Creator can, and will. Can you agree that there are certain lifestyles that are likely to get a Soul a Tiicket to Hell?

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