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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: ... The truth resonates on its own; it doesn't need me to embellish it.
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

... The truth resonates on its own; it doesn't need me to embellish it.

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Yes, and it remains true, independent of whether it is accepted or believed.

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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said: ... Frankly, I think a person is going to get a better seat at the table in heaven if they are...
(Quote) Lawrence-943343 said:

... Frankly, I think a person is going to get a better seat at the table in heaven if they are loving and accepting of all and never ask questions like the ones on this site. ...

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In every case, the question being asked is of an informational nature, i.e. does a member accept that what the Church teaches is true. Is it not reasonable to wish to have such information about a person, particularly a person whom one might consider as a candidate for a marriage partner ?

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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: NO human can tell someone they're going to Hell. But the Creator can, and will. Can you...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

NO human can tell someone they're going to Hell. But the Creator can, and will. Can you agree that there are certain lifestyles that are likely to get a Soul a Tiicket to Hell?

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Well actually they can. Any person who is in a state of Mortal Sin and refuses to repent is going to Hell, that's basic Catechism. But only God Knows who has and has not repented.

You may go to Confession and the Priest may give you absolution, but that absolution is dependent upon the person being truly contrite, truly honest and does the Penance the Priest may impose to be forgiven and free.

But you are right judge not lest thee br judged.

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Apr 8th 2013 new

As the OP here, could I ask that we get back to the original topic which is suggestions and ideas for how one maintains chastity in the single life. That is the topic, not whether sex inside of marraige is better, or sex outside of marriage is really not so bad or serious, or whether we think sinners are or are not going to hell. None of those are the topic.

This topic assumes that chastity is a good thing in the single life, and a virtue, as the Faith teaches us. We start from there. If you don't agree with that, I daresay this post is of no interest to you.

I do not want people who come to this thread seeking help for themselves on this important issue to be sidelined by the argumentative turn this has taken, or give them any further reason to give up the good fight against the evil one on this issue.

So I will say something else:

Use holy water. Have holy water in your home, and bless yourself with it, in the morning, before you go to bed, whenever you need it.

And as you bless yourself say this:

Behold the cross of the Lord!

Be gone ye enemy powers!

For the Lion of Judea, the Root of David, has conquered, Alleluia!

And say the prayer of St. Michael. Did anyone see "the Bible" on the History Channel? And the depictions of the Archangels? Those guys were awesome.

God gives us so many tools to help us. We just don't use them.

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Apr 8th 2013 new

Make that, the Lion of the Tribe of Judah....

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Apr 8th 2013 new
Sure it's tough. That's why if religious life isn't the choice or calling for us then we need to be extra open and willing to date people even outside of our normal comfort zone. Of course there needs to be physical and mental attraction along with having the same Catholic views etc.. As long as you both have that then the rest is minor. I think a lot of us in the dating world cares too much about what society thinks. That's just my two cents.
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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Christine-894237 said: (Quote) Pat-5351 said: Some think that we can have a civil and charita...
(Quote) Christine-894237 said:

Quote:
Pat-5351 said:

Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity in this room. I said I would put something up and see if that is indeed possible!

So, what is your best piece of advice to an adult trying to live a chaste and pure life?

"More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason. " --Our Lady to the children at Fatima

How can we as adult (not teenaged) Catholics help ourselves to save our souls from the sins of impurity?

I will go first:

Wear on your person a blessed sacramental at all times. The miraculous medal, the brown scapular, a crucifix (not a cross, a crucifix). Wear it always, not taking it off for anything. There is grace and power in sacramentals, and it is a physical reminder of to Whom you belong, and Who has given you this body, and Who dwells within you.

If you are tempted, you will have to, as an act of your will, physiclaly remove this sacramental if you are to proceed with whatever you were going to do. It will be a physical sign that you are separating yourself from God, that you are doing it willingly, with full knowledge. That's enough to give you pause and a chance to change your mind.


Just to offer another perspective: In the Inferno, Dante places sins of the flesh at one of the higher levels of hell. He describes lust in it's most basic form (ie, when it's not complicated by more serious sins like treachery and cruelty) as a sort of incontinence, or involuntary loss of control. Dante reserves the lowest levels of hell for sins involving maliciousness, cruelty, and betrayal.


Now, I don't fully agree with this because this view of sexual sin because it seems to negate (or at least diminish) the role of free will and self-control we are able muster through new life in Christ. It seems to reduce the sexual aspect of our persons to mere animal instict.


Anyways, I do not seek to mitigate the importance of chastity in chiming in with some Dante. Just wanted to share what came to my mind when I read your post, Pat. Your advice is solid. I don't have better advice to offer than what you have already contributed.

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Yeah, I think what Dante is saying is part of what the Church teaches about the part of deliberation/intent and sin in natural moral law. The sins of the flesh are lesser, but because they can be compared to other grave sins that doesn't make them any less grave themselves.

Hell is hell --- no one there says, "Phew! At least I'm here and not somewhere worse!" When one is condemned to Hell (not referring to Purgatory), their will is FIXED against God, and they suffer from the total awareness of that separation from God which is the greatest pain, and that this separation is eternal. That's pretty huge, regardless of whatever level a soul may enter.

Chastity begins in the mind and heart. A lot of people surprise me (I'm thinking about some self-proclaimed 'traditional Catholics' even), who think that chastity is merely abstinence from certain actions that are against the 6th and 9th Commandments, but in fact, they ignore that sin begins in the heart and mind. They entertain their lusts by passionate kissing, and/or fantasizing about things, etc.

I have heard people say, "Well, I was fantasizing about when I was married," as if that was OK. Woops! No, sorry, that was actually sinful precisely because you are not married. That's not MY opinion, that is just what the Church has always believed.

Lust is one of the 7 Deadly Sins, but people keep forgetting that. Many men objectify women and are even addicted to doing this because of repeated offenses against chastity. They try to do other pious things to 'keep the faith' but they are actually doing great harm to their faith because they make concessions to continue sinning against chastity by impure thoughts, and actions (even licit) based on their lust. This is why even if they try to make a committment, they cannot stay constant in their committment because they are being pulled around by their emotions of lust. Whether they know it or not, they cannot make decisions based on reason because 1.) They are lessening their ability, eventually darkening to oblivion all together, to empathize with their partner/or prospective partner because they are pulled around by their lust and objectifying that person by means of their lust, 2.) because they are pulled around by this strong, unstable emotion, they are unreliable and cannot be in a stable relationship, regardless of their attraction.

So men with good intent to a point go for pious women, but as long as there is this divide within themselves, with the flesh against the spirit and requiring the spirit to make compromises to the flesh by mortal sin (yes, including solely sins in the mind, such as willfully entertaining impure thoughts), they will not be able to discern the holy will of God or be able to act upon it consistently, if at all.

Pat, I liked what you wrote about the sacramentals, but also there needs to be the point of being consecrated to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, AND a committment to stop sinning mortally and to actually PURSUE and fall in love with purity itself.

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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Lynea-297530 said: They try to do other pious things to 'keep the faith' but they are actually doin...
(Quote) Lynea-297530 said:

They try to do other pious things to 'keep the faith' but they are actually doing great harm to their faith because they make concessions to continue sinning against chastity by impure thoughts, and actions (even licit) based on their lust.

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Just to clarify, even an action that by itself is licit, to be motivated by one of the 7 Deadly Sins makes that licit action sinful but because it is not grave yet itself, it is venial. It may be fully deliberate or semi.

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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity in this room. I said I would put something up and see if that is indeed possible!

How can we as adult (not teenaged) Catholics help ourselves to save our souls from the sins of impurity?

--hide--


Hi, I follow the Rule of Saint Benedict which gives us life-long guidance on simplicity, obedience, humility and stability. I have found that chasity, not giving into temptation, is a positive path to God, especially after divorce. God calls upon us to act through our faith and our beliefs. We can embrace God's plans for us in this way. Dennis

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Apr 8th 2013 new

Here is a radical idea to live chastely:

Get married.

Really.

What is everyone waiting for?

Marriage is part of the solution to this problem; St. Paul said so.

All this long singlehood is only contributing to the issue.

Men, go out and find yourself a wife.

Women, say "yes" to a man who wants to marry you.

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