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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity in this room. I said I would put something up and see if that is indeed possible!

So, what is your best piece of advice to an adult trying to live a chaste and pure life?

"More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason. " --Our Lady to the children at Fatima

How can we as adult (not teenaged) Catholics help ourselves to save our souls from the sins of impurity?

I will go first:

Wear on your person a blessed sacramental at all times. The miraculous medal, the brown scapular, a crucifix (not a cross, a crucifix). Wear it always, not taking it off for anything. There is grace and power in sacramentals, and it is a physical reminder of to Whom you belong, and Who has given you this body, and Who dwells within you.

If you are tempted, you will have to, as an act of your will, physiclaly remove this sacramental if you are to proceed with whatever you were going to do. It will be a physical sign that you are separating yourself from God, that you are doing it willingly, with full knowledge. That's enough to give you pause and a chance to change your mind.

--hide--


With all this focus on chastity, I always wonder what it is like once you are married. I started a forum on that issue - only to be shut down immediately. I questioned Christopher West's Theology of the Body that seems to suggest marriage is all about sex. Chastity doesn't end once you are married as well.. we must not forget that, too.

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Apr 8th 2013 new

One is to live chastity in every state of life: single, married and consecrated life.

But I think living it out in the married vocation is probably the easiest myself....

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Apr 8th 2013 new
That's why I need a woman with a moderate to high "drive" within a marriage. If anyone on here knows a woman that'll be this way in a marriage send her Frank's way. Lol. wave
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Apr 8th 2013 new
I hope that didn't offend anyone. I was just being a character. In all seriousness though, two people should talk about intimacy levels and "drives" before they get married so each person is on the same page. For instance when I watch Everybody Loves Raymond, Debra is always shooting Ray down when Ray's in the mood and they play a Catholic husband and wife on the show. That is somethinEag that I wouldn't want to constantly face in my marriage.
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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said: All of you have given great advice on this subject - WOW! The Mass, Rosary, Brown Scapular, ...
(Quote) Bernadette-874299 said:

All of you have given great advice on this subject - WOW! The Mass, Rosary, Brown Scapular, as well as the Way of the Cross attended, prayed, or worn daily are great ways of keeping thoughts from straying. Additionally, keeping away from tv shows, magazines and company that could tempt towards unchaste thoughts is additionally essential. Also, when you're with a person that you're really attracted to, keep it in a public place, don't stay in a vehicle with each other for more than the ride to and from your destination (if you want to talk, get out of the car and walk), don't ever be in each other's homes/apartments alone together, and if the temptation is strong, by all means, bring a chaperone (I have brothers, so this is easy ^_^), or go on double dates!

--hide--
The tradition of having a chaperone or more is a great one and I think we tend to underestimate its value.

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Apr 8th 2013 new

If One is Tempted to That Sin of Selfishness,along with Reciting Rosary ,Keep in Mind,St. Joseph, "The Most Chaste Spouse or Say this
aspiration...Mary Be my Mother Now..or Jesus, I Trust in You. Yes,Some may think once Getting married,That's their Gateway to Sex,how-
ever Sex in that Vocation was basicallly for Procreation! Sex between Husband & Wife is Only btween the 2,otherwise it's Adultry! I think
Having Self control is a better way to put it than,being Chaste..for life! More thoughts to come

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Apr 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Here is a radical idea to live chastely: Get married. Really. What is everyone w...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Here is a radical idea to live chastely:

Get married.

Really.

What is everyone waiting for?

Marriage is part of the solution to this problem; St. Paul said so.

All this long singlehood is only contributing to the issue.

Men, go out and find yourself a wife.

Women, say "yes" to a man who wants to marry you.

--hide--

Absolutely. Easier said than done. Then you get into a different area. Men are commanded to love their wives. And wives are commanded to do things as well. Perhaps the way to live a chaste life is to have a really good picture of what to expect when you are married.

It is sorta like training a dog. Put a piece of cheese in front of them and they will go anywhere. If men and women had this really vivid picture of married life then maybe they would see how wonderful it is and work alot harder at making it happen. That vision would be the cheese.

For example, you could discuss where Trudy, my name for the husband's mother, would sit at the dinner table when she comes over for dinner. Of course, you would have to decide if you were going to have people over for dinner when you were married as well.

I am serious here, married couples need to be social. You cannot have her friends and his friends forever. But build your vision, make it beautiful.

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Apr 9th 2013 new

Lawrence...some of your sentences seem as if you are making them confusing on purpose. And if you wanted to start a post on your defending something other than purity , then why didn't you? Why would you hijack this post and try to get us all riled up, maybe to be the devil's advocate and make us try to let our anger explode? Can we please take this thread back to where it started? We are trying to be charitable, but I don't think you care do you? And why no pic? There are you satisfied? Here goes.....

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Apr 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Here is a radical idea to live chastely: Get married. Really. What is everyone w...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Here is a radical idea to live chastely:

Get married.

Really.

What is everyone waiting for?

Marriage is part of the solution to this problem; St. Paul said so.

All this long singlehood is only contributing to the issue.

Men, go out and find yourself a wife.

Women, say "yes" to a man who wants to marry you.

--hide--
Yes Pat ! Amen .. I see the logic of this clearly now. I am here to Get MARRIED !! :0) There are so many benefits to marriage and I'm realizing that we need to look past some of the superficial and seek out the deeper intent of a prospective partner. Thanks for all the great posts. GOD BLESS.


someone

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Apr 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Peter-933860 said: The tradition of having a chaperone or more is a great one and I think we tend to underestimate i...
(Quote) Peter-933860 said:

The tradition of having a chaperone or more is a great one and I think we tend to underestimate its value.

--hide--

By chaperone do you all mean some old unmarried Aunt knitting in the corner and the couple sitting several metres apart. Why not just say NO. If they respect you they will stop, if they dont respect you and try to carry on LEAVE its that simple.

God gave us freewill, there is no magic bullet or one straight jacket fits all approach to Chastity except saying NO and be aware of your humanity and your sexuality and what they are for. Thats what Catechism was for, the Churches teaching on sex these are enough or should be if you believe that you are the people you have been portraying in this thread.

I think Occams Razor is the solution here, dont make life more complicated than it needs to be. After a marriage must be based on trust and respect, if paramours can not be honest with each other and respectful of each other, and their wishes/conduct when they are alone, then how can they make a Sacred Oath before God?

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